Forgetting Bad Relationships

[Guest]

I've been taking a hard look at some of the turning points when I decided to use alcohol rather than exercise, etc., why, and any other triggers and I have found a couple of troubling emotional crisis points where I just had to make tough decisions which broke my heart, or my entire spirit was broken by a disappearing soulmate...and I mean disappearing literally. Had a dinner date planned for that night but called the hotel earlier in the afternoon to find out he had checked out. Never heard from him again...this was after 2 years. I was so devastated at my lack of insight that I lost my ability to trust myself and literally did not speak for 2 weeks trying to absorb how I could have been so fooled. 6 years later, I found out that he had been lying to me the entire time about who he was and his marital status, etc, even though I've never seen him again.

Anyway, I have found a hypno cd that is about forgetting bad relationships so that you can regain your life. The alcohol hypno cds appear to be doing a good job so I'm going to give this one a try! There are a few I would like to forget:lol

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Sounds good, cv, I'm also concerned about learning to pick good ones, as well! Maybe a good combo cd about remembering lessons learned but not having the pain hurt! Sounds good to me!:lol

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

You're right there. I actually think they have one about picking Mr. Right, so perhaps there is something there. I'm not in the market for relationships right now so I won't get that one, but I'll certainly let you know how the other one works when I'm further into the alcohol:d .

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Sounds good to me!

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

I'm reading the book " Why Men Love Bitches" lol
I working on not being so nice.
My friend says she is training me.
"Bitch In Training"
Thats all we need ladies. gabby

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Gabby, I don't mind if you turn into a bitch out in the world of men, but please just stay your sweet self around here ok? :lol I know you will!

CV, was that a Freudian slip? "..further into the alcohol...? :lol You mean the cd right? I'd love to try it myself, if you'd care to share the title. I used a great one for self esteem that really made a difference in the way I feel and think about myself. In combination with MWO, it's really helpful.

Wow, reading your post sent chills through me! So harsh, and so heart breaking, I'm so sorry you went through that. I can see that it was devastating for you. It's unreal that people can do such hurtful things. Just incomprehensible. It makes me exhausted just trying to figure stuff like that out... just trying to find a way to think about it, you now? Make sense of it. I just want to scream... "what is wrong with people!!!????" I'm so glad you're working on forgetting that, and healing!

Something along the same lines sent me deeper into the bottle about two years ago. That was when I began drinking all weekend, starting in the morning. Never before that had I drank in the am. Never got out of my pj's the whole wkend, depression, suicidal thoughts.. etc. Somehow I crawled out of that slowly, I don't even know how, just my will to live I guess. So I think you're right, our emotional trials are and have been triggers or turning points in our drinking life. It's that escape hatch that's so handy when we're in so much pain. Unfortunately it hurts us even more.

:h Deirdre

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Absolutely right Dierdre, and good catch on the slip...I'm not drinking, I mean't further into the alcohol hypno cd's...lol. Must be freud, but he thougt everything related to sex...not in this case...hmmm, anyway, I don't think so.

But anyway, I know that you are right but I'm refusing to do guilt and I realized that in order to let things go, I really have to open up all of my locked file cabinets where I store memories and such and clean them out...get rid of what needs to go, shred some things, refile the positive things. Even the negative things, I have to try to find a positive lesson in there which made me stronger so I can move forward and not get stuck.

I'm really sorry for the bad time that you had. When something devastates you to the core, you hit the deepest, darkest place there is and there is no where to go but up. I know I found myself staying there quietly, almost giving up for a while, but somehow, when everything was really black, after a while a tiny bit of light started to make the hole seem a dark gray. Then it was one thought at a time, one plan at a time, one movement at a time until you are strong enough to fend for yourself again. I'm not a religious person but I do believe in strength, help guidance, etc and I have always liked the footprints in the sand poem...I'll post it if anyone wants to read it again!

On the personal note, my first breaking point was when I had to let my babies go live with their father because he had all of the money and stuff and I was struggling with 2 jobs and needed to get a third to keep them, so I just had to do it...It's still the best decision for them but it will never be okay with me. The other was when my instincts had totally let me down about this fellow and I work in area's where all I have are my instincts to survive sometimes...so I completely lost faith and trust in myself. Learning to trust myself and my instincts again is still sometimes a struggle, but they have never let me down again, although I never really took many personal chances after that again either. But, this is rambling, so I'll sign off for now and go delve into happier topics!

See you in absville:d

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

cv
What a strong, articulate, wonderful person you are - you have been through so much and look where you are. We love you - how lucky we are to have you here with us. How lucky we all are to have one another. We are all beautiful. We are all strong and we will all be well! (There is my pep talk for the day - but i mean it).
Great big hugs all around!
Jen

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Thanks for sharing about yourself cv. I, too, lost faith in my judgment about men a number of years ago, and I haven't gotten it back yet. The thought of going on a date makes me shudder with dread! Now that I'm older, even if I could pick Mr. Right, I'm not so sure that he would pick me, at least not at this point: However, we are all still works in progress, and it's never too late....

Hugs,
Kathy:d :d

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Well, in the final analysis, I think we are foolish to make ourselves depend on men for our feelings about ourselves anyway. It's not the old "fish and bicycle" thing. It's just that any human being can only brush past us, sometimes touch us profoundly, but ultimately, we have ourselves to care for. What happened to you, cv, is the most terrible kind of beytral. In another age, it could have put the guy in jail. Anyway, yeah. You get my vote for queen of of the amazons.

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Lol sophia, thanks:happy I'll have to remember that for halloween, hopefully my tummy will be gone by then..hehe. It's getting smaller though! I'm working on not "creating" those situations again which means rebuilding from the ground up. I'm not sure about others, but sometimes, I rebuild better using my imagination when I pretend I'm someone else and determine how they would handle a situation or what they would do. Then, it gets into my brain and psyche so that later, I can tap it when I'm "myself" again..

[Guest]

Forgetting Bad Relationships

Well said fsopiah. Which is yet another reason why I?m so glad I found MWO, because it?s started me on the work I have to do to have myself back, to really love & like myself. Right now, men/romantic prospects just don?t seem relevant with regards to my self image and the work I want to do there. I think that through all the years of drinking I got lost, meaning I lost touch with my authentic self. - no I didn?t lose touch actually at all, but I lost the ability to act on my true desires, or what was really right for me ? for health and healthy relationships, because I began to need the outside world to affirm me in ways that I was unable to, and through that need I lost my way, my focus. I was compensating and selling myself short. I didn?t know all this at the time?but then again, yeah, I did.

Cynthia, it?s just amazing what you can go through and still come out strong ? even stronger than before. Thanks so much for sharing that with us. I just want to say that some people are so goods at their game of tricking you into believing that they?re for real, that they can fool even themselves. Then maybe it?s not that your sensors are off, maybe it really is just that he was a great con artist?? And instead of losing faith in ourselves, maybe we should lose faith in them? meaning damaged men...? I don?t know, just a thought. At any rate, I think you?re fabulous. All hail the queen!

Deirdre