Something occurred to me recently about drinking; it seems like all I am trying to do is recreate that lost feeling I had as a teenager. That feeling of excitement about a night out, the feeling of so many possibilities and having the world at my feet, without any real responsibilities.
A time where the whole world lay before me, and I didn?t have to worry about bills or career or relationships; the whole point of my life was becoming myself. I remember the wonderful feelings as a seventeen or eighteen year old, friends coming over, getting ready (which was part of the fun) and then heading out. I felt like I could do and be anything.
I?m only 29 now and yet I feel like I?ve lost that sense of possibility. But then again, I do also understand that I have to let go of certain definitions of fun. Fun used to be that sense of excitement; that feeling of knowing that the night ahead could hold anything.
I think this is really about growing up. Part of the problem is that my parents haven?t ? to THEM, excitement is still about getting drunk and partying with their friends until the early hours of the morning (and my mum is 55, my dad?s 61 ? but they are still very ?young!?, and looking at them, you would think they are in their late 40s). The thing is for me that I have to realise that particular example of adulthood isn?t one that?s going to work for me.
The other thing is that I feel tremendous pressure socially when I look at my parents? lives ? they have such a huge extended network of friends. I don?t have that, and I have always held them up as the gold standard. Also, I am in Australia, and I grew up in the UK ? so I don?t have the stability of lengthy friendships. I?ve been here seven years now, so I do have some good friends ? but just not like they do.
I think what I?m slowly realizing is that I?ve always compared my social life against my parents and always found myself lacking. And that seems like such a weird thing ? I mean, Generation X should surely be better off socially than the baby boomers (maybe!).
I AM starting to accept that if I choose a certain path in regards to personal improvement, it does mean that I won?t have a huge social network ? I mean, I would rather have five real friends than fifty superficial acquaintances ? but it does have implications when I interact with my parents. I know they love me to bits, but they seem puzzled that I don?t have this huge social network that they have.
I?m not looking for any particular feedback ? just that I acknowledge there is a weird phenomenon happening for the kids of baby boomers.
Gem x
A time where the whole world lay before me, and I didn?t have to worry about bills or career or relationships; the whole point of my life was becoming myself. I remember the wonderful feelings as a seventeen or eighteen year old, friends coming over, getting ready (which was part of the fun) and then heading out. I felt like I could do and be anything.
I?m only 29 now and yet I feel like I?ve lost that sense of possibility. But then again, I do also understand that I have to let go of certain definitions of fun. Fun used to be that sense of excitement; that feeling of knowing that the night ahead could hold anything.
I think this is really about growing up. Part of the problem is that my parents haven?t ? to THEM, excitement is still about getting drunk and partying with their friends until the early hours of the morning (and my mum is 55, my dad?s 61 ? but they are still very ?young!?, and looking at them, you would think they are in their late 40s). The thing is for me that I have to realise that particular example of adulthood isn?t one that?s going to work for me.
The other thing is that I feel tremendous pressure socially when I look at my parents? lives ? they have such a huge extended network of friends. I don?t have that, and I have always held them up as the gold standard. Also, I am in Australia, and I grew up in the UK ? so I don?t have the stability of lengthy friendships. I?ve been here seven years now, so I do have some good friends ? but just not like they do.
I think what I?m slowly realizing is that I?ve always compared my social life against my parents and always found myself lacking. And that seems like such a weird thing ? I mean, Generation X should surely be better off socially than the baby boomers (maybe!).
I AM starting to accept that if I choose a certain path in regards to personal improvement, it does mean that I won?t have a huge social network ? I mean, I would rather have five real friends than fifty superficial acquaintances ? but it does have implications when I interact with my parents. I know they love me to bits, but they seem puzzled that I don?t have this huge social network that they have.
I?m not looking for any particular feedback ? just that I acknowledge there is a weird phenomenon happening for the kids of baby boomers.
Gem x
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