I was in a relationship for the best part of 30 years?. The early years were wonderful? My partner was fantastic, loving and generous? He lived up to all his promises, he could keep me entertained for hours, we had a good social life, we very rarely stayed in and I was never lonely?. In the beginning we saw each other about twice a week because I had other commitments, but the affair was evenly balanced and I think we both put in as much as we took out?. I put my trust in him one hundred percent, he was always there when I needed him and he never let me down...
As time went on though there was an imperceptible shift in our relationship? I became more needy while he became more demanding? I began to see another side to my Prince Charming?.There was this dark side, I thought I could handle it, thought I was in control, and he let me think this for many years..
The changes in my life with him were so subtle they just slowly crept up on me, but when I looked back to the early days with him and compared them to the present, I was horrified at the extent of his hold on me? At first my friends loved him almost as much as I did? Then after a while they started to drift away.. I don?t think they liked him anymore.. When they rang to invite me out with them I would make some excuse not to go, you see I was at the stage now when I was so dependent on all he had to offer I couldn?t get enough of him and I wanted to be with him, just the two of us, night after night?A few times I tried half heartedly to finish it but the longest I could go without him was about two days.. He would always call to me, asking to see me just one more time, and like a fool, thinking I could control the situation I would give in and say yes?He was the one who pulled the strings, he controlled me?
It finally reached the stage where he had robbed me of my self respect, what little self esteem I had, my friends, my health and my money?.I was now at that place where all love was gone, to be replaced by hatred, but my dependence on him was stronger than ever.. Family and friends warned me about him constantly, and though I hated him, I always took his side and defended him? I would tell them I knew what I was doing, I was in control and I could end it whenever I wanted to, I even lied and told them that I didn?t see much of him anymore, but in my head I knew I couldn?t walk away from him, I depended on him more than ever now and that scared me?
Things finally came to a head after the worst night in the whole of our relationship? It was as if someone or something suddenly switched a light on in my brain? I took a very long and hard look at myself, at where my life was now and where it was going? I didn?t like what I saw, but there was no magic wand or special pill to help me change it overnight? It took courage and hard work.. Courage to tell him that once and for all it was over, and hard work to rebuild myself into what I am now?.
Oh he ranted and raved at me for months, wouldn?t leave me alone.. Kept appearing when I least expected him.. He almost tempted me back quite a few times, but, I looked beyond those sincere eyes, that loving smile and saw the blackness and danger that was there, waiting.. He would set little traps for me, reminders of how it used to be in the early days, the wonderful times we had, the love and the laughter, how he used to make me feel so good, but looking back now I can see how he let me think I was in control, but all the time he was the one who pulled the strings, and although he called the tune, I was the one who paid the piper?
Well its been almost seven months now, I don?t see him so much anymore, just a glimpse of him now and again.. I have a new set of friends now, friends who help and support me, they strengthen my resolve never to see him again and I think he knows that, he knows I?m not trying to do this alone anymore?
He is probably on the prowl right now, looking for new victims, so if he should ever come knocking on your door, don?t even let him get one foot over the doorstep, slam that door right in his face?
His name ?? Sorry, didn?t I tell you ??
His name is Alcohol..
Although he likes you to call him Al, he?ll want to be your buddie, your friend or your lover, he?s very friendly and charming.. In the beginning
Beware the charms of Al,
Love, Louise xxx
As time went on though there was an imperceptible shift in our relationship? I became more needy while he became more demanding? I began to see another side to my Prince Charming?.There was this dark side, I thought I could handle it, thought I was in control, and he let me think this for many years..
The changes in my life with him were so subtle they just slowly crept up on me, but when I looked back to the early days with him and compared them to the present, I was horrified at the extent of his hold on me? At first my friends loved him almost as much as I did? Then after a while they started to drift away.. I don?t think they liked him anymore.. When they rang to invite me out with them I would make some excuse not to go, you see I was at the stage now when I was so dependent on all he had to offer I couldn?t get enough of him and I wanted to be with him, just the two of us, night after night?A few times I tried half heartedly to finish it but the longest I could go without him was about two days.. He would always call to me, asking to see me just one more time, and like a fool, thinking I could control the situation I would give in and say yes?He was the one who pulled the strings, he controlled me?
It finally reached the stage where he had robbed me of my self respect, what little self esteem I had, my friends, my health and my money?.I was now at that place where all love was gone, to be replaced by hatred, but my dependence on him was stronger than ever.. Family and friends warned me about him constantly, and though I hated him, I always took his side and defended him? I would tell them I knew what I was doing, I was in control and I could end it whenever I wanted to, I even lied and told them that I didn?t see much of him anymore, but in my head I knew I couldn?t walk away from him, I depended on him more than ever now and that scared me?
Things finally came to a head after the worst night in the whole of our relationship? It was as if someone or something suddenly switched a light on in my brain? I took a very long and hard look at myself, at where my life was now and where it was going? I didn?t like what I saw, but there was no magic wand or special pill to help me change it overnight? It took courage and hard work.. Courage to tell him that once and for all it was over, and hard work to rebuild myself into what I am now?.
Oh he ranted and raved at me for months, wouldn?t leave me alone.. Kept appearing when I least expected him.. He almost tempted me back quite a few times, but, I looked beyond those sincere eyes, that loving smile and saw the blackness and danger that was there, waiting.. He would set little traps for me, reminders of how it used to be in the early days, the wonderful times we had, the love and the laughter, how he used to make me feel so good, but looking back now I can see how he let me think I was in control, but all the time he was the one who pulled the strings, and although he called the tune, I was the one who paid the piper?
Well its been almost seven months now, I don?t see him so much anymore, just a glimpse of him now and again.. I have a new set of friends now, friends who help and support me, they strengthen my resolve never to see him again and I think he knows that, he knows I?m not trying to do this alone anymore?
He is probably on the prowl right now, looking for new victims, so if he should ever come knocking on your door, don?t even let him get one foot over the doorstep, slam that door right in his face?
His name ?? Sorry, didn?t I tell you ??
His name is Alcohol..
Although he likes you to call him Al, he?ll want to be your buddie, your friend or your lover, he?s very friendly and charming.. In the beginning
Beware the charms of Al,
Love, Louise xxx
Control the Mind
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