I wanted to thank everyone who responded to my first post (titled: Help me please ...). All of your words were so kind and reassuring. Thank you SOOOO much.
Also, simeybear/Mary asked me what was I trying to forget. I honestly thought that I didn't know why I was drinking every single day for about 2 weeks (14 cans of beer a day). Then it hit me last night. After going about a week without drinking (no money), I was totally clear headed and felt great and woke up one morning after having a nightmare about my ex-husband. You see, I was married for 10 years and it was abusive in every way possible. I finally got out of it, put him in jail (2 year sentence) and got a divorce. I have not seen him since 2004(court date) and he has moved (I think) half way across the country.
I say all this because the nightmare came out of the blue. No warning whatsoever. I woke up and was extremely upset and started to yell a little about "when is this man going to get out of my head!!!" My kid did not know what to say. So I asked her to call my therapist, but he was totally booked for the whole week. So I guess you could say I "improvised" another way of handling it.
Well, I FINALLY saw my therapist today, FINALLY took back all the cans (9 cases/$11.00) (and for some reason walked out of the liquor store without getting more beer. I actually forgot to get it. ). Then walking to our apartment with my kid (14 years old), she noticed that I didn't get any beer and asked me not to and gave me a hug. Then said "why don't you try something new .... and I don't mean a different type of beer ..." LOL.
So, FINALLY after 2 weeks of non stop drinking, I didn't buy any beer today!!!
I think everything just lined up today. Therapist, Daughter and this MWO website. I'm starting to think that having an outlet like this and getting feedback from YOU really did and will help me. I will also take the advice that I received earlier and come up with a plan and a list and hopefully another "hobby".
:thanks:
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