I never saw him. I never said good-bye. His brother had viewed his body and he was so damaged he was almost unrecognizable. He was cremated. His blood alcohol level was .22.
I will never forget the look on my childrens face when I told them he was gone, the numerous calls to family and friends, and the pain and suffering of this past year. Depression quickly settled in...I nearly lost all control. Over the past 12 months I have totaled 3 cars, went to jail three times, gotten in a fist fight....it is insane and 1 year ago, no one I knew would ever believe this. I am sure Billy is very disappointed. I have managed to keep all of this SHHHH from my professional life and ex-husband for the most part....but, I knew I was in trouble and for the sake of my life and my children, I have to regain my senses. I found MWO almost 2 months ago. I have slipped terribly a few times, but got up, dusted off, and I am starting again. Although, this past year has been very painful, what I have learned is alcohol doesn't take the pain away, it makes it far worse.
I will forever love and miss Billy, but I am still alive, but if I do not make drastic changes , I won't be. Thank-you all for the love and support of this site, it has truly SAVED MY LIFE!!!!
LUVUALL
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