Relationships - easier or harder with drinking?

[Bean]

Hi everyone
Just wondering what people's views are on relationships and drinking? I broke up with my bloke last year for a number of reasons but drinking was a main one. I'd tried to tell him early on that I had a drinking problem but he never really took it seriously. He doesn't get hangovers,(I get them horribly) and he thought I just gave myself an unnecessarily hard time about 'normal drinking habits' (if you can call a regular bottle of wine and 1/4 bottle vodka each a night normal...). I agreed with him that I give myself a really hard time about my drinking but in the end I just hated myself for the way I was and I hated him for refusing to accept it was destroying our health and relationship.
Faced with the prospect of meeting someone new and having to 'fess up to this issue, I wonder how other people have handled it? I have been feeling that I need to find someone who doesn't drink at all or at least minimally and that I need to nail it before I can get into another proper relationship but my fear is that I wont manage to get on top of it or that if I do, I wont sustain it. How do you deal with that?
Sorry, this post is like a problem page letter! Would like to hear there is hope though!
Bean

[Rocky]

Relationships - easier or harder with drinking?

Hey Bean,

Fears are always around us about doing this or that...Relationships are hard even when things are going good sometimes.

I found I need to focus on what I know is killing me or could kill me and that is to get control of the alcohol habit....relationship or no relationship is is the right thing to do... and if relationships lead to families...it is the right thing to do...the stuff is poison.

It's kinda funny how people worry about this or that insecticide on their food but then down a bottle of vodka (poison)

Well...a suppose I am saying to focus on you!!! regardless of others...you are important!!!

Take care.

[bestlifeldms]

Relationships - easier or harder with drinking?

My husband doesn't drink, mainly to help me with my situation. It is definately better than living with someone who drinks daily but it also puts constant pressure on you.

If you are not serious about "not drinking" this has a tendency to tempt you to sneak alcohol. Which is a very unhealthy habit.

If a non-drinking relationship is what you think you want, I would be sure to have completed a period of successful abstinence prior to seeking a non-drinking companion.

That way you can say with honesty and confidence that you realized that you had a problem with alcohol and decided to abstain for your own sake and that of your future relationships. You can also state how long you have been alcohol free. Begin your relationship in total honesty. He / she can take it or leave it. No need for the gorey details. :bigwink:

Good Luck!

Best

[chris_ckd]

Relationships - easier or harder with drinking?

well stated Best!

[abby1]

Relationships - easier or harder with drinking?

Best always knows BEST!!!
Being honest with yourself is first, second be honest with love ones. The rest will come later.
Abby