To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

[mamatee]

Ah, here I am, 60+ days into this new life. It's been darn good. I'm happier and healthier. Have been through many many social situations that were tests of my resolve but I wasnt tempted to drink. It has been my intention to get to moderation though now that I've been abstaining I'm unsure if that is worth it or not.
So, here's the situation. Next weekend my book group is going on our annual weekend getaway to the mountains. I've been through a couple of meetings without wine and my pals are supportive of my decision to drink less (and lose some weight) so I can go and not drink without any pressure from them. However, I would like to go and have 1-2 glasses of wine with our dinner, but, I am also apprehensive. But, how can I know if I can moderate if I don't try?
On the other hand, I don't want to start something I can't stop. My concern isn't so much overdrinking during the weekend, but rather starting having 1-2 drinks more often.
I'm looking for opinions. Tell me what you think. Yikes!

[hablur]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

You know you have come so far and if you are doing good with it I would just say stick with AF. I am not sure moderation is even the best thing.

[Breez]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

For yrs I thought I could moderate & would fall back to my same old ways. It didn't happen right away but eventually it did & every time it did it was worse then the time before.

I can't speak for you but if you have to question it then I'd say maybe not.

People who can moderate do not have to worry.

[giles123]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

I agree, if you do have to seriously question it then no, stick with the AF.

58 days AF here!

Cheers,
David

[tawnyfrog]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

Why risk it? 60 days is FANTASTIC. Stick with it.

[bgg]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

i have let my self down again , i cant moderate , i need to abstain from it ..... I will beat this i want a better quality of life for myself i will clean up and be sober , what i do need to do is visit the forum more often and read through the postings and keep posting myself

[irishlady]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

Hi Mama, I go along with everyone here, 60 days is fantastic, so, why not keep it up... Once you make the decision to abstain it takes all the hassle out of deciding when, where and how much, makes life so much easier...

Personally, I think you will enjoy the weekend much more if you carry on as you are now..

Have a good trip,

Love, Louise xx

[Arial]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

"Ah, here I am, 60+ days into this new life. It's been darn good. I'm happier and healthier. Have been through many many social situations that were tests of my resolve but I wasnt tempted to drink. "

So why bother?...

I know what you mean, though - I'm about 55 days AF now and a couple of weeks ago I tried a couple of beers with dinner 'just to see' - and immediately the inner voices kicked in: 'just one more won't hurt..?' Luckily I stuck to 2 and I learned a couple of things: 1) that I enjoyed dinner less because the focus was on the alcohol, not the dinner and the company and 2) it strengthened my resolve to be abs and has made it easier to say 'no thank you' now - it's cleared away another of those little voices.

Good luck with your decision!

[sri]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

I am in about the same place as mamatee and Arial.....over 60 AF -- I did venture to have a glass of wine on a similar weekend with the girls and on a business trip in Paris -- one night I did drink too much -- broght back the demons for me. For me, I've decided to be mostly AF with an occassional glass of wine for a special dinner etc. I cannot drink "unattended" - I must just have a glass with a meal, not "drinking" all evening -- I can stop with one glass -- I just cannot have two.

[cassy]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

Its a clear message for most pople who have posted that modersting is so so difficult and causes anguish.

I am still trying to moderate..anfd so far have improved the amount and frequency of my drinking by a huge amount.

i am just not ready to say neve..and i do enjoy sharing a bottle of wine with dinner,,,then its onto the coffee and home...before i can go for the second bottle!!!!

I so admire those who are AF,,i did it for 45 days recently but decided to moderate.

I guess we all have our journey to walk ,,and deep down i actually know AF is better for most people with a drink problem...but not ready to do it just yet...watch this space.

Regards Cassy

[Chief]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

60 days and you want to drink?

Mamatee, I'm brand spankin' new here and today is only day 2 for me and I know I shouldn't be giving advice but, man, if I could have 60 days AF you would have to hold me down and pour the booze down my throat to get me to drink. I know for me if I had 1 or 2 glasses of wine after 60 days I would feel so guilty after I drank it and the next morning would suck... that old familiar bad taste,regret,etc... Please think about it and don't let the beast influence you... you can tell everyone cares here.

[Happier]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

Mama,
Alcohol is the darnest thing isn't it?
You feel like you're missing out on something when everyone else is drinking but then feel so guilty when you drink, especially if you have been 60 days AF. Congratulations by the way!

So I don't feel left out when I don't want a drink I will get either get a virgin bloody mary, virgin strawberry daiquiri or even a carbonated water with a lime.

If you feel so good staying AF then maybe you want to keep sticking with that.

You are doing wonderful!

[mamatee]

To Mod or To Abstain or To Wait?

Thanks everyone for your input. It's given me much to think about. Funny, I'd never planned to stop entirely -- that's why I picked MWO. Well, I do have an open mind - so now I'll give this whole long-term abstinence thing consideration. I'll report back.