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**Guest** · July 16, 2006, 06:19 PM

Is it just me?

Ok, let me expand.
For example, on Saturday - woke up, feeling GREAT - drank 3 beers over about 7 hours friday night - a MIRACLE for me. Got up early, made hubby a great breakfast, cleaned out entire bedroom, got two whole garbage bags of clothes together for goodwill. Cleaned kitchen, dusted, etc. did a bit of reading. Loved how beautiful it was outside - thought the whole time how nice it would be after to sit outside and drink a few beers. Hubby and I went to my parents' home (they have a pool - about 3pm). I sat outside, in the sun, trying to ignore the urge for a beer (unfortunately, I had gone downstairs and saw an entire fridge of it). Finally after an hour or so I broke and went down on to "check something". Drank a beer.
Hung out again outside. Went home shortly after. Drank another 2 drinks. Went downtown with my sister. One hour later had one drink (wanted one far earlier but sister does not drink so held off). Didnt have anything else.
Today - woke up feeling fine, but a bit worried.
By 1pm (we were going to a casino where they serve booze and I dont gamble - always associated casino with chance to drink). Craved beer. Got there. Had a beer. We lost money quickyl and everyone wanted to leave. I convinced hubby to buy a 6 pack of beer. We bought one (3 pm). At time of writing this (7:17pm) I am on beer 2.
So, my issue is not necessarily HOW much I have drank OR getting drunk (clearly not the case since didnt drink much once started - not sure if this was because i couldnt - opportnity or because I didnt feel like it because the topa/supps - though I suspect its a combination....).
My real worry was the real URGES I was getting to have those drinks in the first place.....I wonder though if that was good old habit - the habit of sitting outside on a sunny day, the habit of the casino...does anyone relate or have advice? will this get easier? I really hope so!
Sorry to blab on and on...
Thanks for listening

Jen

**Guest** · July 16, 2006, 06:45 PM

Is it just me?

Jen,

How much would you have normally drank in this situation??? Just curious....From what you are saying, you drank less than normal, even though you thought about it a lot. I know you wrote a whole lot, so I'm sorry to ask you to write more, but I am asking you to write more. I think that this was probably habit off the top of my head. It takes a while to learn to not think about it all the time!

Hang in there!
Hugs,:d
Kathy

**Guest** · July 16, 2006, 06:56 PM

Is it just me?

Jen, I think it sounds like this is a lot less then before. Plus I think it will get easier for you too. I really do. It sounds like you put yourself right in the Bullzeye of the target tho. Just like a sittin duck honey. I mean...even people who dont drink...if they go to a casino or pool or something of the like could get a craving for a drink. AKA....URGE which turns into something that we folks have to fight off.
Jenneh, I dont doubt for not one second that you are not a very intellegent, strong, wonderful, brilliant, on and on woman. But geeze.....if you could be superwoman over your addiction in this short of a time and go to all the super tempt you in your face places.....and WIN!!! Damm ya probably dont even need to be here. The only reason I am probably makin ABS so good is I hardly leave the dang house. I dont do anything fun. I'm not sayin you have to go to this extreame but maybe in the begining you could ease up just a smidge. Hope Im not makin you mad. : : outspoken I am....gabby

**Guest** · July 16, 2006, 07:15 PM

Is it just me?

Jenn,
Gabby is right. Being in those situations in the first place makes it tough to fight off the urges/temptations/cravings/evil devil thoughts WHATEVER. You had a few drinks. You are trying to do mod, right? So mission accomplished, for the most part, right? You have said in these situations you were in the flat out ugly range as far as drink count goes.
I've been in your situation. Feel like I AM you, for pete's sake. Here's my take on it, given with love. Please take what you want and leave the rest, OK?
-did you grab and kinda sneak that beer from the basement? Watch that. I do that crap too. Bad habit. I'm trying very consciously to make all my drinks "seen".
-make a decision to have a day or two or three... abs this week, to know you can and to get back on track. DON't let that daily drink count sneak up. Even with the topa, your drink count can get up there. Still has to be a conscious thing, babe. The topa helps, though.

Jenn, you are DOING this! Betcha you feel better about being able to control the drinking now more than you ever have. You can still cut back, remember, if that's not acceptable to you.
Keep track, and keep on.
Thanks for letting us in on your weekend! Does sound like fun!
Becca

**Guest** · July 16, 2006, 09:11 PM

Is it just me?

Kathy, Gabby and Becca
Thank you for your replies.
Sadly, I would have usually drank a lot - A LOT more. Sad eh???
So I guess I can be happy about that. But I agree - I put myself in the line of fire. And that is me being afraid to say no to my friends and others - but its also the fact that I am also very restless and need to find more constructive and rewarding things to do with my time.....i completely love you guys....
As a start, here are my goals for this week (thanks Becca for your suggestion and your ezmail my dear friend :d )
ABS - Mon, Tues, Wed
Thurs - 2 drinks max
Friday - 3 drinks - 4 max (good friend's birthday so i am being realistic - will stick to beer only)
Saturday - 2 drinks max
Sunday - abs - if ANYTHING 1 drink
TOTAL - 8 drinks or 9 max (I think I can be proud of this),
I think if I set goals and then mark each day for myself as to how I did, this will help guage how well I am doing.
Love all
Jen

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