Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

[kitkatsue]

I had to binges this week one of which landed me back at the hospital. I am so sick of this crap. It's not the MWO hasn't helped. But I need more so now, I'm seeing a councilor, a doctor, and an acupuncturist. They all had two words for me, don't drink. I'm angry with myself, how many bloody time do I have to go through this. And how long will this time last.

I don't really except an answer just needed to get that out!

Kitkat :sigh:

[Niblet]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Never Quit Quitting KitKat


It sure sounds like you are looking for all the help in all the right places. Those that want help WILL find help. Chin up and tomorrow is another day...
Sometimes it's not what you are drinking but rather..... the reason you are drinking what you are drinking. I wish you well and look forward to all your progress, starting tomorrow.
~Niblet~

[Niblet]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.

I have a kitty that is with me right this minute. She looks identical to your cat except perhaps a little less white on her face. Same fluffy coat and everything. First time I saw your cat I couldn't believe my eyes !!! We rescues our kitty from the animal shelter as a 2 year old. We named her " Alley-Oop" She is the SWEETEST lil' gal that snoozes with us. She is my personal trainer when I'm doing my workout too. Giggle !! Giggle!!
~Niblet~

[Guest]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

I have asked myself the same thing a hundred times.....you are trying....give your credit for trying and keep trying

[sammys]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Kit Kat, what is ending you up in the emergency room?? I want to know so I can help if you want it. I hope you are ok, I know you have been AF then binging but what are we talking here? I started when you did so just checking up on you.

Sammys

[Breez]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

How many times do you have to go thru this?

Want the tough love answer?

You'll go thru this every time you only go thru the motions of quiting without wholeheartedly (MIND, BODY, SPIRIT) commit yourself. I've said this before: being AF is not for sissies. It's hard at first. It is a commitment. You can't just go thru the motions-it won't work. You have to want it badly enough. I'm talking so bad you can taste it.

You're on your way. Baby steps. "Rome wasn't built in a day" & a guarantee no one here got it right the first time. Geesh- it took me a long time to finally open my eyes & take a deep breath & take that plunge to be AF. You can do it. Have faith & hope & never give up!

[morrison]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Just never stop

Hello kitkatsue. I think the key is to never stop trying to quit. Sooner or later, it'll take. I was quitting so many times. Damn, I went almost 9 weeks, and got loaded a couple weekends ago, and had to start over too. But you know what, at least I didn't drink all that time, and got other things taken care of. Don't look at it as a failure if you don't have this remarkable streak of months or years. Yes, it would be nice if you could never drink again, and that is my goal as well. But, just never give up if you slip. My older brother, who is pretty much a mess, just gave up trying to quit. I never did. Although I was worse off than him at times, I always would try again, regardless of how many times I failed. I look at my brother, and see somebody that just gave up, because he lost faith due to his slips. Please, don't let that happen. We're here for you. You can do it. :h

[dilayne]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

I've had months and years of abstinence, but seem to come back to this place. I agree with all of the above...today, I'm reading Allen Carr's book...hoping that I will some how click with his 'easyway' out..I'm doing this because I seem to have temporarily lost the will to stop....nata, gone, denial..whatever...It's been a breath of fresh aire..if nothing else, to put it all back into the realm of reality.
Good Luck! Sounds like you are majorly in the game..the game we play with ourselves and drinking.
Namaste! Di

[morrison]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

loved the book dilayne

dilayne, I read that book before I started anything else on this site. I found it right away on my research to alternatives to AA. I have to say, I absolutely loved it. It really got me started. I did slip, but for some reason, we just forget. How can I remember stuff I learned in 2nd grade, but I can't remember all the bad stuff alcohol has caused me just weeks before? Anyway, I have the book to skim over if I need that "reminder." I'm sure you'll like the book. He really does expose alcohol for the poison it is.

[Monica]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Dilane, I've recently ordered the Alan Carr book. He really cuts to the chase about all types of drugs. I quit smoking with one of his books, over a decade ago.

Morrison, I agree that there's nothing sadder than someone who just gives up trying to quit. If there's one thing harder than quitting drinking, it's living with yourself when you're drinking. That's pretty much why I come to this site and reading the posts - I quit about six weeks ago and I don't EVER want to forget how bad it feels to be swamped by guilt, shame and hopelessness every morning.

Kitkatsue, Just keep at it. Everyone who knows me well has rolled their eyes every time I've announced I'm quitting AGAIN, but you're not a quitter till you just give up trying to quit.

[morrison]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Monica

6 weeks is excellent!! And, I also got irratated with the rolling eyes. I'm sure I sounded like a broken record all the times I said I would quit, but I did mean it. Some people really can't appreciate the hold this beast can get on you. I agree. Lets not let ourselves forget the hell, and I really mean HELL, that we have gone through. If we could truly have a breif period every morning for 5 minutes of the pain and shame of our drinking days, I don't think we would be at all tempted to have a drink that day. It is hard over time, cause it gets too easy to forget how horrible the life of a drunk is. Again, 6 weeks is fantastic. I noticed it is your first post. I hope you will contribute more. The more the merrier, right?

[kitkatsue]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you everyone,
To answer your question Sammys anxiety depression and dehydration.
I will look for Alan Cook book .
I'm not giving up I'm just very depressed!!

[kitkatsue]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

And it is very true you have to really want to stop drinking and I don't know how I feel about never having another drink in my life, its a subject I have discussed with my new councilor. He really doesn't have an answer for the moment. But his comment was really how important is drinking? That is a good question. He did say right now to stop.

Whats that say about me? I just want to be normal. Some people can drink moderately, what the heck is my problem.

I want to stop feeling sorry for myself when there are so many so worse off than me.
Makes me even more depressed

[Guest]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Angel/Bad Angel.....which rules the roost???

Hi kitkatsue,
Just wanted to say that I think what Breez says is very, very frank, i.e. giving up the booze is not for sissies, as it`s so tough to endure.

Well, am now on Day 2 abs, and frankly, last night was absolute HELL!!!!!.........I was tearful, sad and lonely, like a baby whose comforter had been snatched away, BUT!!!!...........I made it through my first night without my beloved wine. Would like to say thanks to all at MWO who gave me much-needed support last night-I felt as if people really cared about me.

So, again, Breez is right, and feel proud that I just achieved my first baby step. However,can already almost taste the btl of wine I would normally have tonight(drink a btl every single night), so let`s hope I can resist and notch up my 2nd night abs........sure is a battle of wills.........

Starlight Impress

[kitkatsue]

Starting over what a drag!!!!!!!!!!!

Well no alcohol for 2 days but I feel like I am coming down with something, flu maybe.
I have to get back to work tomorrow. Really not looking forward to that. I feel broken and numb and tired. I can't give up!! I have to keep pushing forward. Hopefully I will feel a little better tomorrow. A good question is that when I am feeling better will I forget just how rotten I feel now, and start all over again wish I had someone to kick me in the but and remind me. I know I really don't need alcohol.

Sorry for rambling I think this is more for me just to get it out of my system. So if you wish to ignore my posts for the next few days feel free

kitkatsue