Thanks Pauly! I am trying to analyze this. I know that I would never drink while I am here with my Mom. I never have and just know that is something that I never will. I think that I am looking forward to the sadness and stress of when I leave. And thinking that I don't want to deal with....that I want to numb it. I know that just sounds stupid and makes no sense but I I think that is what it is. My Mom has told me 20 times in the past day how much she loves me and that she wishes I would stay here with her forever. I am just sad that I can't do that....I think that just knowing that I am going to have to leave in 2 weeks is making me want to open that door so that I can numb myself.
Thank you so muc for talking this out with me. I did just go take my pill. So, that is a step in the right direction. I am enjoying my time here very much with my Mom. I am not foucsing on drinking or anything but I am trying to be vigilant. I am trying to get in touch with my emotions so that I am aware of what is going on.
Thank you..........
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