Question for the Women

[Guest]

Since I have had my beautiful baby girl, I am feeling more like a Mom and less of a woman. I don't regret for one second having my child as I waited and prayed for a beautiful little girl just like her, but there are those moments where you sign when you look at yourself going out the door.

I used to have long hair that went to the middle of my back, I always had it nicely highlighted. Now, I have cut it off to above my shoulders in a french type style that they were here if your hair is shorter. My breasts looked better; pregnancy does that to them. Amazingly though my husband loves them this way better??? I don't get to do my nails as much as I would like, I rush through my showers and do a shoddy jobs on my legs. I rush with the makeup. I don't wear any skirt that is too short anymore as I don't feel it's appropriate really, plus I don't want to pull a halfway Brittany Spears. I don't really get to wear my heels anymore because it's hard on cobblestone pushing a stroller..my Manolo's just sit there..sad. I don't mind my c-section scar, I consider that a badge on honour..and luckily I have no stretch marks. Thank you god!

It's hard to maintain that sexiness and still be a mom at the same time. Finding that happy balance. Yesterday it was so nice here. She feel asleep in her stroller and I stopped at a Brassier for lunch and had a nice salad with Perrier sucking up the sun and I felt like a grown up again. It felt really good, even though it was just me and my passed out baby.

:thanks: for all those who just read my pity party. I'm going out today and buying some lingerie to cheer myself up. My DH will love it as well.

[ScoobyDoo]

Question for the Women

Hey GG

I really felt like that after both my boys were born. I quickly returned to training both times so I got the body beautiful back in order. I think it's really important for mum's to find solo time. It's a huge adjustment moving from independent person to someone who is dependent upon. A major shift! I really find exercise gives me that boost and did so back after my boys were born.

I also cut my hair during both pregnancies and regretted it. At least it will grow back and besides... change is good! I also really noticed during pregnancy that I had lost my sex appeal and was jut a pregnant mum in the making.

I totally understand where you're at. I'm waiting til I am back down to my normal weight and then I'm going on a shopping spree. I'm usually 53 kilos (max) and at the moment am at 61... by far the heaviest I've ever been apart from pregnancy, so I feel so unhealthy at the moment (but working on it!).

Have fun shopping GG!

Doo

[Guest]

Question for the Women

Thanks Doo.. it's amazing how sexy lon hair can make you feel though isn't it? Such a small thing really. Thankfully it's on it's way back. All these vitamins I am taking are making it grow fast! Luckily I have lost all the baby weight; I did that in the first 6 months. Good genes from my Nana. I would love to take her to daycare once or twice a week to give me some time alone; but I don't trust anyone yet (other than my parents) to look after her as good as I do. She is such this neat little person, and also I don't want to take her there and learn from a stranger that she did something new and I missed it!

I learned these awesome crunches in Taekwondo and I have been doing them; my abs are looking pretty good! Just the face, hair and nail time I could use more of I think.

The struggles of being a woman;

[goingsobermum]

Question for the Women

Abs, what are they? Mine went out the window long ago, I guess I have an excuse now being pregnant again! I find that going running is the easiest way of getting time to myself, hubby is quite happy to look after the kids if I'm running, guess he likes the firmer sexier me that comes with the running.
I plan on treating myself to a proper maternity dress and swimsuit this time as I'll be big in the summer and don't want to just look like a misshappen whale. But thats as far as shopping goes for me at the momment.
As you say 'the struggles of being a woman'

[kpuk]

Question for the Women

I can totally understand this! I had a beautiful long curly hair and a size 8 figure when I married my hubby 12 years ago. Now I've got short hair (littered with gray!) and I'm a size 12 on my good days!

Unlike you I hate my c-section scar. I can't stand it. I find it hard to believe my husband still finds me attractive but he regularly tells me he loves me and loves the way I look. I think maybe he's being kind! It's a tough one but I had no choice but to let other people take care of my kids. My twins are in a special needs school and sometimes the "home to nursery" book includes details of their achievements that I have missed out on.

I remind myself they are in the best place but I know what you mean about your daughter doing something new and you missing it.

Take care

[Guest]

Question for the Women

Oh GG, sometimes we just have to MAKE ourselves break away. You will cy at first, but will thank yourself later. Make some alone time....Mommy alone time for yourself. Leave the baby with your husband once a week. Doesn't have to be for hours...2 hours is good...have lunch, but a book, get your nails done...anything, something...take a bath in peace....go to the bathroom ALONe...imagine that! We all feel your pain....

[ylfa]

Question for the Women

Pity party and you have manolos shoes give them to me honey . No just take your time and enjoy this little girl and this time you have together now. The look can just wait a little bit, this time is far more important.
God luck

[Breez]

Question for the Women

I just had a commercial on & it said " I'm going to age gracefully". Guess that says it all! I guess motherhood falls into that.

[Niblet]

Question for the Women

I too had a C section, 2 infact. I commend you for keeping up your vanity at this busy time. You weren't having a pity party atall, it's totally normal to feel the way that you feel. Good for you getting out and enjoying the sun. It must have felt really wonderful for you... Enjoy your lil' girl while she's young because before long she'll be into your wardrobe and wearing your manalos shoes ! Giggle !! Giggle!!
Enjoy your day Hon... ~Niblet~

[hereatlast]

Question for the Women

hey girls
this time will whiz by ok you may feel unsexy at times but that will come back the baby years wont though the problem is we always wish for what we cant have i miss the baby years my youngest is 9 and my eldest son is getting married in july but i have enjoyed every stage of their development there were times when i had three under 4 years of age when i longed for me time, now i can have as much as i want and i miss those long ago years, i can tell how much you adore your daughter GG wait till you are going for coffee together that is weird, but do as the others say get hubby to babysit and go out with the girls a really good girly laugh is a perfect remedy for the blues

[Guest]

Question for the Women

I got hubby to babysit this Sunday while mommy gets some 'me time'. I guess it's because I have not had any me time in about 4 months... I don't want her to grow up, and I don't want the time to go by any faster, I just want a little 'big girl' time every now and then. So, I told my hubby and he is all for it. No worries from his side of the table. I love my husband, he really is so good to me. Thanks all for understanding..

[gabby]

Question for the Women

GG, I cant take as long as I would like to on this post. But I too was a stay at home mom of 3 boys. Tho now it is kinda bitein me down the road of an unhappy marriage that lead into divorce after 25 years (I'm 46) giving up my career, income and my indiviguality - Almost my body and looks (you can hang on to that if you work hard, but the inside stuff really does matter more).
Now.....regaining my indiviguality, income and career is pretty much killin me but I'm workin hard at that. And goin through some pretty rough times with the boys (they are mad at me for divorcin their dad - but we are makin progress). I DO have to say.....what no one - absoultly no one can take from me and I will always have dear to my heart are the times that I had with the kids when they were little. All the big things, all the little things, all the easy times and all the hard times. All the laughter, all the tears. All the feelings of ME that is lost is all worth it - and I would do it all over again. No matter what. Cuz right now it doesnt matter how hard it is - no one can give that old stuff to me - but what I have in my heart. And man do I ever hold it close. Geeze.....I'm makin myself cry. Considering what I am goin through right now with a yucky ex abusive husband that would just as soon have me dead then do the right thing and split things right and have some value for the mother of his beautiful children.
If I end up with nothing monitarily, (and I wont) what I will always have is that time, in the early days that I spent with the boys.

Anyway.....startin gettin dramatic here but trust me GG.....you have no idea.

So ya.....take some time for yourself and take care of yourself - just to keep your sanity, but.....cherish every second with your baby girl.

Trust me, you cannot comprehend the meaning of the phrase "time flies" until it's all gone and you'll be glad you have what you have in your heart.

[mystical]

Question for the Women

Know how you feel

I am 28 years old. I have been a mother since I was 16 years old. I have felt less than a woman since my teens. My body has been wrinkled and scarred since I was 15 and pregnant. It's hard and almost 12 years later (that's how old my daughter is) I still have those same feelings when I try to get intimate with someone. But I look at the three beautiful children I have and realize, I wouldn't change every sagging of skin, stretch mark or sagging boob for anything in the world. Besides as long as I leave my clothes on I look great!!!!

[Guest]

Question for the Women

I hope I did not give the wrong impression with this post; I am not resentful towards my baby girl in anyway what's so ever. I guess I just meant that I would like just a couple hours to myself a week, and that will pretty much do it for me. I really love the age that she is at; she walks and runs all over, she babbles and runs into my arms. I love everything about her age; even the toxic diapers I am okay with. May be I wrote this all wrong..

[mystical]

Question for the Women

No, I didn't think you mean't that. I'm sorry if it sounded like that. Believe me I know exactly what you mean by needing a few hours to yourself. When they're babies thats when they require the most attention and it's a lot harder to get the time that you need. People say sleep when they sleep, but you have so much to do on a day to day basis besides feedings, changings, and bathes, that is so much easier to do when they are sleeping, that you end up having to make the decision do I want to sleep, do laundry, dishes, work, or take the time out to read a book or do what I want to do. Usually, we make the decision to do the things that need to be done and not what we want to do. So instead of doing what needs to be done, take some time while the baby sleeps for yourself and do what you want to do. Remember to keep smiling it does get easier!
Holly