How often do you think, just screw it all?

[spincycle]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

stillcrawling;128304 wrote: ... have you had your thyroid tested --- hypothyroidism is more common in women but does occur in men ... it does not always appear in blood work either ... take your body temperature in the morning -- keep the themometer by your bed and take your temperature (put it under your armpit) before you get up ... if it is below normal check with your Dr. don't give up ... yout thyroid is literally your thermostat and impacts our entire adrenal system... good luck Liz

I've put the thermoeter near my bed and sure will try it for a few days. Many thanks for the idea.

[spincycle]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

I'm not sure really. I mean other than being AF frankly I felt about the same about everything in my life. I also had a 10 week old then, so that was hard.

If I answer honestly I guess I sure can say a part, maybe big part of me will miss the booze. Most of the best times in my life were punctuated by booze, but so we most of the worst. I think I have not yet titled it completely in my brain as the evil. I want to crack the demon, but part of me might worry about missing that demon for years to come.

irishlady;128298 wrote: Hi spin,

you say you did 32 days AF, but you were still miserable.. Did you look forward to a new life without alcohol during this period, or were you looking back with nostalgia to the days when you used to drink ????

Are you perhaps looking on alcohol as a friend you have lost instead of the enemey you have finally got rid of ??

It was just a thought as to why you feel so miserable... I know when I finally realised I could crack this demon and never drink again, I was overwhelmed with such a feeling of lightness and warm happiness, it was wonderful.. I just wish I could parcel some of it up and send it to you..

Please don't give up trying though, and do keep on coming here to read and post, the people here are so helpful and supportive, you never know, something may just click with you soon..


Take care, Louise xx

[julie001]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Hi,

Have you considered an antidepressant/anti-anxiety prescription? I started taking lexapro about two months ago, not long after I started logging on here again regularly. And although the depression has not lifted completely, my stress level has come way down. That seems to help with my thought process as I work on adding more and more AF days to my weeks. I know its hard to feel positive when you are feeling so down, but stay with us. You can beat this! Good luck!

Julie

[giles123]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

I was just going to write if you have tried lexapro when I read Julies post.. So, have you? I notice you said that you've tried a lot of AD's, AA's.. Lexapro is good.. But don't drink on it.... and that's kinda put you in a dilemma doesn't it...

I understand what you're going through mate, i've been to court, lost good jobs and relationships all cos of the demon p*ss but I'm determined to hang on to my precious wife, son and current life.. It DOES get better mate.

Let me know how you are today and we can have a chat if you like, I regularly log on to this site.

Take care mate, I know it's rough to hear, but it really does start to get better.. it just takes time finding the remedy.

David

[nancy]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

I think if it is that bad you should concider trying the whole program, including topamax. you have to be prepared for side efffects i guess.

i also saw an article about vivitrol recently, if you want to abstain entirely. i put a link to the article in the drug section of this website.

i agree with irish lady. maybe you are not viewing the positives of sobriety. you feel deprived.

i think allen carr's book easyway to control drinking might help with that. i have always felt deprived too. but now i view things a bit differently. havent stopped drinking but really view "deprivation" in a different way.

[spincycle]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Dear Julie and Giles,

Actually, I'm currently on lexapro. I wonder if I should get bumped up to 20mg, maybe it would help. In the past, I've been on celexa, paxil, effexor, wellbutrin, buspar, seroquel, clonopin, and xanax. One of the few I never tried is prozac.

Today is actually started to look up. I don't want to jinx it, so I will post tommorow maybe.

Either way, I sure appreciate all the support I'm getting...

giles123;128374 wrote: I was just going to write if you have tried lexapro when I read Julies post.. So, have you? I notice you said that you've tried a lot of AD's, AA's.. Lexapro is good.. But don't drink on it.... and that's kinda put you in a dilemma doesn't it...

I understand what you're going through mate, i've been to court, lost good jobs and relationships all cos of the demon p*ss but I'm determined to hang on to my precious wife, son and current life.. It DOES get better mate.

Let me know how you are today and we can have a chat if you like, I regularly log on to this site.

Take care mate, I know it's rough to hear, but it really does start to get better.. it just takes time finding the remedy.

David

[nancy]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

the other thing is...

were you hungover when you wrote that?

hangovers create horrible horrible depression, much worse than what you get normally as a depressive person

believe me i know because i have had depression most of my life.

[Guest]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Spin,
Anti-depressants will not work if you drink alcohol with them......alcohol kills many meds actually and makes them inaffective. It can and will get better....it takes desire, a lot of want to, alot and damn tears sometimes, and a handful of supplements each day, but you can do it. Don't think far in advance at first. Just think minute to minute, then hour to hour, then day to day.....start easy and get bigger....you will overwhelm yourself if you jump in thinking 30 days or lifetime or something...start small...baby steps. You will start to feel stronger as you feel healthier. Your wife will support you more when she sees you trying to help yourself. She obviously loves you, she is there! Have you shared this site with her? A few of the guys on this site, their wives are members too and offer great support here for them and the rest of us and I think we help them understand their husbands as well. Bring her here if you are comfortable. She can get her own name etc...let her read and try to learn your world...it may help her understand that you do love her and want to change. Keep coming here Spin, you can do this....

[giles123]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

To luvuall

Those are very nice and totally accurate words of wisdom

I really agree with everything you said and it really comes down to minute by minute then day by day..

Cheers,
David

[rottrod]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Spin
I wish I had the ultimate words of wisdom for you, but I don't. However, I think that you should give the Lexapro a chance to work, don't fight it. Think about your child and your wife and their needs; don't be overwhelmed by that, just little things you can do to meet their simplest needs. Sometimes taking your eyes off of yourself for just a little while puts a lot of things in perspective. Their simplest smile or expression of gratitude will do wonders for your self esteem and motivation to do even more next time.
Keep reading/posting here and pray to your higher power, (You don't have to tell anyone.)

I will be thinking about and praying for you.

Melissa

[cassy]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Hi Spin..hang on in there...get your ammunition out and tackle this

emotionally. physicallt ...do you have any faith/beliefs??
I find from time to time i go on guided spiritual retreats..very calming and a chance to be so so honest with myself and be still.

We live in a crazy frenzied life ans I benefit from some calm time ..not lonely but a little solitude and prayer.a good spiritual director also helps me..

That may not be your style or maybe you dont have a faith?
My only other suggestion would be get chatting to people on here who have hit a similar stage in their lives and learnt ways to get right back out of the dark pit...There will be light out of darkenss...i hope you can get to a better place in your mind soon.
Good Luck...thinking of you Regards Cassy

[goingsobermum]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

spincycle;128328 wrote: Wow, other than the parenting part (dear wife does much of it as I'm so solitary) ...

Hi Spin,
I'm sorry you're feeling so down, its harder when you know you are trying hard and still feel bad. I agree with the others about checking out thyroid, blood sugar etc, I would also say look at your caffeine intake. So much to think about not suprising you feel like shit at times, but keep at it, it'll get better if you do.

Your son is 10 months old, I recommend you get down on the carpet and play with him or put him in the stroller and go for a walk. Walking will help you relax, is still pretty solitary and will give your wife a break which I can assure you she'll thank you for. You need to get to know your son, solitary or not he needs you.
Lots of Love
Suz

[Bean]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Hi Spin
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Hard to know what to write...
Have you ever tried homeopathy? It's an holistic approach and I have personal experience of it dealing with physical and emotional problems VERY effectively over 25 years. Sounds like you have a bit of both which need tackling. The hard part is working out what path/medication to follow and then having the patience to stick with it for a bit to see how it makes you feel. I went through a painful breakup last September and went a bit nuts trying to find an answer or a way out of my depression and all the feelings that came up for me at that time. After a couple of months I started to give myself a hard time that I wasn't 'over it' yet and what was wrong with me? Eventually I realised there was nothing wrong with me, I just needed time to process everything that had happened (decided to sort out my drinking at the same time relp ended). In all I tried counselling, kineisiology, AA, another moderation group, Reiki, massage, yoga, drinking, meditation and probably more I've forgotten to get through it. Today, 8 months later I have just joined a dating site and am finally feeling ready to get back out there. My point being that it sounds like all your relationships are being tested at the moment - the one with your wife, the one with alcohol, with your baby, your family That is REALLY hard to cope with. You sound very committed to your son but hard to tell what you feel about your marriage (don't mean to offend if I have got it wrong). Having problems in your primary relationship AND business and mentally and emotionally and physically is horrendous. I'm not surprised you want to chuck it all in. Maybe you could try another therapist/counsellor? I have seen about 5different ones in the last 12 years - a couple were great, some were crap. It's hard to criticise the 'professional' when you feel so low but maybe you need a different approach.
One final thing, what really really helped me in my darkest hours was friends and family who just listened and supported me. Connecting with others (even if you feel like a solitary person) helps to ground us all and make us feel part of something. Keep posting on here, everyone is rooting for you. I felt I'd found a kindred spirit when i read your first posts so want to tell you that you have helped me. And maybe it would help to view this as a longer term thing - we all want the quick fix in life but there is sadly no such thing.
Thinking of you and hope you have a good weekend.
Love Bean x

[Lorelei]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

stillcrawling;128304 wrote: ... have you had your thyroid tested --- hypothyroidism is more common in women but does occur in men ... it does not always appear in blood work either ... take your body temperature in the morning -- keep the themometer by your bed and take your temperature (put it under your armpit) before you get up ... if it is below normal check with your Dr. don't give up ... yout thyroid is literally your thermostat and impacts our entire adrenal system... good luck Liz

Another tell tale sign of a shaky thyroid is getting your reflexes checked. Thats how my GP discovered I had a problem. The blood work showed fine the first time I had it done. After my doctor found out I had no reflexes he had the work done again, with an additional test (its been so long now I don't remember which). At the time my thyroid was working intermittantly. Once I went on meds alot of things improved!

Take care and stick around!

-Lorelei

[dilayne]

How often do you think, just screw it all?

Hey Spin,
I'm a firm believer in trying the MYO program 'by the book' the first 30 days, if at all possible, then modifying it to your personal needs afterwards, or at least during 30 days, including abs during that time, the CDs and the supps. Hang in there, there are lots of good recommendations here, especially on the physical stuff, which I can't comment on...but the thinking part is another thing..being aware of your thoughts can be very powerful because your thoughts can effect how you feel..maybe try countering negative or depressiive thoughts with something positive..I'm not saying, "just think positiive", but to look for a way to reframe what it is you are thinking about. I've got a lot of milleage with the firmest belief that everything and everyone and everything that happens in my life (or my personal frame of reference) has something to teach me..so I look for the lesson..it keeps me pretty busy and keeps me from judging it, or feeling sorry for myself, or feeling (at least a fraction of the time) from becoming overwhelmed by my not unusual fearful thinking.

Keep posting! Namaste!
Di