ONE more time - my journal

[Stargazerlily]

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It would be so hard to be at day 1 again. Understand the shuddery feeling.

[FlyAway]

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Has the little princess arrived yet?

[sunshine_gg]

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Noooo! :upset:

She appears to be stubborn as hell, already! :H

[FlyAway]

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mollyka;1638586 wrote: Haha -- my #2 grandkiddy is about to be born too --- mum in labour as we speak!!! They may have the same birthday GG???

Congrats Molly! I've got 2 myself. :h

[sunshine_gg]

ONE more time - my journal

Ohhh Congrats Molly!!!
Hope it goes quickly!

No change over here!

[sunshine_gg]

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And the kids saga continues...

While I'm trying to practice 'letting go' and finding serenity and all that, I'm also trying to sort through feelings/thoughts in regards to junior.

He started work about 2 months ago. I agreed to lend him my truck for a week or two (to get to work) while he looks for a vehicle. Enter March... no vehicle for him. But, there are appointments for tattoos, there was money for drugs a couple weeks back, etc.

Last Friday we talked and I insisted that I get my truck back Monday (last night). I was up until after 3am, worried sick.. no kid, no truck. Turns out, he 'forgot'. He also forgot to charge his cell phone, hence I couldn't contact him. I absolutely demanded my truck to be back here tonight.

I'm getting the 'well, then I guess I'll have to tell my boss I can't work for the rest of the week'... and 'I don't even know if I have enough gas to get to you'... sorta guilt trip.

With my new found attitudes and wisdom, here's how I see it:

1. He has made no real effort to save up for/look for a vehicle. --> He's taking advantage of me
2. It is entirely HIS responsibility to get himself to/from work. --> Not mine
3. Aside from the fact that I really DO need my vehicle, if I continue to take a back seat and give my things away... am I not enabling this behaviour and encouraging it to go on?

[sunshine_gg]

ONE more time - my journal

Hey Granny Molls :l

Mine's 21. Sigh.

[sunshine_gg]

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Hey Molls!
How's the wee one?

Still no new little peanut here. I'm afraid that kid is waiting for Spring. Should be here by mid July or so :H

Actually, things keep taking surprising turns, with the young lad.

When he finally came to return my truck on Tuesday, we had a chat... a calm chat, where I explained that it isn't fair that I am always taking a back seat and that I'm not able to 'help' him if he's not willing to help himself. I don't know if he really agrees, but he said he understood and there was no attempted guilt trip whatsoever. (Which makes me wonder if it is/was the kids laying on the guilt trip, or me, myself, and I?) Hm. Either way, I'm working hard on NOT doing guilt - giving or receiving.

So, for now... all is well... I have a vehicle, my bags for baby stay are packed and ready, there's gas in my truck (in case something should happen in the middle of the night - and since, I'm living at the end of the world, there's no gas station open past 10pm around here)...

[sunshine_gg]

ONE more time - my journal

Take that back. Things are not so well.

2am phone call from son... high on coke... believes he's about to be arrested. Got into a fight, knocked someone unconscious. Wants to know if I will bail him out, should the opportunity arise.

I'm not entirely sure, tbh. Should I?
I suppose I should and will (if I'm still here on Monday - re. baby). If so, I probably should talk to the court about sending him to rehab. While he MAY be drinking less (and I say may be), his drug use seems to have increased. Something's gotta give here.

[red67]

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Oh Sunni I am so sorry you are going thru this. I have no kids of my own but I do have nieces and nephews and a very special little 11 year old girl that is my almost daughter. I know it would be very tough for me to do tough love. What I can say is my own parents did it on me (and I wasn't even drinking or doing drugs) and it made me a very strong adult. I have been on my own since I was 18 and I look back and I really appreciate they were so tough on me (although at the time I hated them for it).

Rehab is probably the way to go but we both know he has to want it for it to really work. My best advice is to let him be an adult and face his consequences. I know its easier said than done but in the long run it's the only thing that will help him.

I am praying for you and him. This is a horrible thing to watch a loved one go thru.

[FlyAway]

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How are you doing Sunni?

I was away for a few days and missed all of this turmoil. What is going on with your son now? Has the little one come yet? :l

[paulywogg]

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Still no grandpeanut?Sunshine,i hope everything goes o.k with your son,these darn kids these days i.dunno,they act like we owe them,sheesh and its not just us alkie parents i see it in other kids raised by regular parents,its just that 18 to 20 something age,i guess,hugs to you,i hope you are o.k

[sunshine_gg]

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Thanks guys.. yep, I'm alright.

Still no baby. Sigh.

[sunshine_gg]

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Houston, we have a baby! Finally.
Audrey Eva, born on April 10th (like 2 weeks overdue) at 6:57pm



Labour was scheduled to be induced but the doc decided to just break her water and nature took over from there. All went extremely well, 7 hours from beginning to end
Oh.. and I even cut the cord

And, on Thursday, I'm off to Germany. Sigh.

[-143]

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Congratulations Sun.....she is beautiful!!!!!! :goodtime::goodtime::goodtime: