ONE more time - my journal

[Turnagain]

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Sunni Honey Butt - I am so grateful for YOU and your renewed commitment to living free of addiction! Fly is so right about the gift of sobriety. And it just gets better.

[broken halo]

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Well done on your 90 days sunshine! It feels really good to be sober and able to be there for people when they need us! I hope your son is okay. :l

[DreamThinkDo]

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90 days Sunni - brilliant!

[sunshine_gg]

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Thank you, Fly, Turnip, Halo, DTD :l For most of my time here on MWO, people like you seemed to have had a lot more faith in me than I did... but I'm coming around to your way of thinking

Life isn't perfect and shit happens. But, right now (as in TODAY, because, that's all that matters right now) life is OK. It's astounding how much easier one can go to sleep and get up in the morning when there are no gaping holes in memory, no gripping fear of what may have transpired the previous day or evening.

I will meet up with my sponsor 1 1/2 hours early tonight (before the meeting) to go over my step 4, which I finally completed this week. It has occurred to me, that I'm a fabulous thinker, able and even eager to pick things apart, turn them over, and analyse them to death. And then? Nothing. No action. I'm making a very conscious effort to change that. I've been working on things that have been sitting around forever, that have made me avert my eyes (if I don't see it, it can't be that important)... with the realization that it doesn't have to get DONE in one day. But, I need to do a little of it each day. I'm also very good at setting incredibly ambitious (read: unrealistic) goals for myself and then end up overwhelmed, frustrated and disappointed when I cannot meet them. So.. baby steps. A little each day will go a long way.

[Lavande]

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Sunni,
You just reminded me of something my college nursing instructor told me 42 years ago. 'You are your own worst enemy Ms. _____!!!'
I thought she was a total bitch at the time but now I know she was 100%, completely right
Learning to be kinder & gentler with ourselves takes work

[Rusty]

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Sunni-CONGRATULATIONS ON 90 DAYS AF!!!!!!!:happy::yay: I am soooo happy for you!!!

I've been working on things that have been sitting around forever, that have made me avert my eyes (if I don't see it, it can't be that important)... with the realization that it doesn't have to get DONE in one day. But, I need to do a little of it each day. I'm also very good at setting incredibly ambitious (read: unrealistic) goals for myself and then end up overwhelmed, frustrated and disappointed when I cannot meet them.

Then, when I drank myself to oblivion, I woke up with the most awful feeling: shame.

I hear you on these feelings. The feelings of setting unrealistic goals and never meeting them lead to me drinking.

It's so nice to have you here with us....sober, not just existing but living, happy, and at peace.

xoxo
Rustyredlocks (Satz123 on the Army Thread gave me this name. I really like it. )

[sunshine_gg]

ONE more time - my journal

You just reminded me of something my college nursing instructor told me 42 years ago. 'You are your own worst enemy Ms. _____!!!'
Yep, Lav... that's me, too. I love a line from the Great Spirit Prayer which we read instead of the Lord's Prayer at our women's group: "I seek strength, not to be superior to my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy - myself."

Rustyredlocks (Satz123 on the Army Thread gave me this name. I really like it. )

Awww MAN! Can I at least make it CRustyredlocks? :H Alright, alright, Miss Rustyredlocks. You got it. :l

Isn't it bizarre, what we do to ourselves? I mean, not just the drinking, but the expectations, setting ourselves up for a fall at every turn? *shaking head*

[Rusty]

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Awww MAN! Can I at least make it CRustyredlocks? Alright, alright, Miss Rustyredlocks. You got it.
:H:H and:thanks: I know I can be a real pain in the butt. Hey, what's up with your Toronto mayor? Geez, that guy can't keep his big, fat mouth shut. I digress. Back to you...

Isn't it bizarre, what we do to ourselves? I mean, not just the drinking, but the expectations, setting ourselves up for a fall at every turn? *shaking head*

Ohhh....Sunni, I am so guilty of being my own worst enemy. I've been told that I'm too hard on myself and that I'm own worst enemy ever since I was in high school. When I decided to finally stay sober, I was able to attack my character flaws (I have several, can't you tell?:H) and beating myself up about things that happened years ago was one of them. I love the Great Spirit Prayer, BTW. So glad you say it at your women's AA group. Hope you're having a lovely day, Ms. Sunni....I leave for Stratford, ONT on Monday.

[sunshine_gg]

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Oh my... what profanity came from the infamous mayor now? I will have to read up, I suppose. That man is an embarrassment of epic proportions (pardon the pun). However... I will have you know, Ms. Rustyredlocks (

[Pavati]

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Hi, Sunshine:

I am a lurker on your thread - I never know exactly when to jump in. You have an inspiring story. I love that you could be there for your son because you were sober, and the puppy, too. AND both of those events to celebrate 90 days sober. Amazing stuff - thanks for your great sense of humor and for sharing your journey!

[sunshine_gg]

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:hallo: Pavati!
Jump in any time! The more, the merrier. Even more so since taking the plunge into AA, I really believe that there's strength in numbers.

Where are you in your journey?

[Pavati]

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Hi,

Today is exactly 8 weeks for me - 56 days. I couldn't get myself to go to AA because I'm not ready to be that public with this - I live in a small town. It seems you do, too - you are braver than I am! So far I am finding MWO to be enough. It really was time for me to quit and I still have my kids around (ages 14 and 11) so I have a HUGE reason to stay on the right path. If I need to, though, I am prepared to hit an in person meeting to stay sober.

Good night.

[sunshine_gg]

ONE more time - my journal

8 weeks is AWESOME! Well done, you!

I had a real off day yesterday, felt (and looked) like something the cat dragged in. Much better today, if early morning is an indicator. Whew. Happy Monday (that's a bit of an oxymoron, ain't it?)

[sunshine_gg]

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Yayyy! You made it!!! And, we currently have a bit of a heat wave going on, too! :H Prolly just 'cause of you!

I don't even look/listen any more (re Mayor). Hey, we should at least skype or something... since I can't get my behind down there!!!

Stay warm, luv :l

[Rusty]

ONE more time - my journal

Sunni,

My flight to Canada was cancelled. It's -5 below here Fahrenheit, with a wind chill of 25 below. I'm not going to Canada until March.

Hi Molly-when are you coming to the US?

Yeah, that mayor is a piece of work. Umm....I think he must like those free buffets at lunch....lots of rubber chicken, mashed potatoes and chocolate cake.:H