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    #1

    Single and dating

    I thought there should be a support thread for those of us who are trying to date while in recovery. Please share your strategies and stories, both good and bad.

    I recently "met" a guy (online) who doesn't drink. I'm kind of excited. The other guys I have met have issues. I've been a bit depressed, to be honest. I'm not sure how much rejection I can really take. The one guy I liked is all over the place. I'm writing him off romantically and just friend-zoning him because he will do my head in.
    Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.
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    #2
    Single and dating

    I say get to know him more before meeting him and when you do meet him, meet him at a public space. Tell him that you no longer drink and why when you feel comfortable telling him.

    Sorry I can't be more help to you, I don't have much dating advice.
    I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

    Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

    Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

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      #3
      Single and dating

      I don't have much advice either...I've kind of given up for now. Every guy I've met online has been creepy (no offense to those that find their Mr. Right! lol) I'm being selfish and focusing on ME right now...I figure Mr. Good Enough will come along someday. :H
      :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

      Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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        #4
        Single and dating

        I think that's what I'm going to do, too. I think I'm going to take myself off the market for a while. I have enough to do just to worry about me. I'm going through a lot of change right now and I need to come out on the other side of it all.
        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

        Comment

          #5
          Single and dating

          All this "manbashing" are we on the Oprah show...................:H

          Kidding aside, I wish you ladies all the luck in finding Mr. Right........he's out there, but you may have to put your "waders" on to get past the mud and the muck!!
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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            #6
            Single and dating

            Oh please Nelzie...I haven't even STARTED Man-Bashing....it will be obvious when I do :H

            I say us ladies need to focus on ourselves and appreciate how wonderful we each are...THEN we can look for someone that deserves us!!
            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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              #7
              Single and dating

              No man bashing here - I LOVE men. I just want to be Ms. Right when I find my Mr. Right. I can only do that by focusing on me right now.
              Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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                #8
                Single and dating

                I this a female only zone :P ?

                Sounds like a big tick if you are not wanting to drink and you have met someone who is in the same position.

                But, I don't think you wanna date someone purely because they do not drink. Sure it's a positive.

                Dating + alcohol kind of go hand in hand. Bad date? Get pished. Good date? Get pished and get lucky. It covers our insecurities more than ever.

                In fact, some people are more insecure if you turn up on a date and do not drink.

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                  #9
                  Single and dating

                  Londoner;1584448 wrote: I this a female only zone :P ?

                  Sounds like a big tick if you are not wanting to drink and you have met someone who is in the same position.

                  But, I don't think you wanna date someone purely because they do not drink. Sure it's a positive.

                  Dating + alcohol kind of go hand in hand. Bad date? Get pished. Good date? Get pished and get lucky. It covers our insecurities more than ever.

                  In fact, some people are more insecure if you turn up on a date and do not drink.
                  I agree with all that and no, not a female only zone. Anyone needing to vent or just talk is welcome.

                  Yeah it's easy for me to not drink a bunch when actually on the date - I usually have to drive to meet the person. But I still have a lot of unresolved feelings that lead me to drink too much to begin with. Simply meeting someone new won't change that.

                  The problem for me is that I lacked male attention and affection inside my marriage for so long, that I'm finding it almost addictive now. Probably many of the same feelings I have been trying to drown in alcohol I am now wanting to bury by going out with a lot of guys.

                  I may be trying to hard or thinking too much. I need to go to the gym more and sweat it out instead. :new:
                  Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Single and dating

                    Siren136;1584226 wrote: I think that's what I'm going to do, too. I think I'm going to take myself off the market for a while. I have enough to do just to worry about me. I'm going through a lot of change right now and I need to come out on the other side of it all.
                    I agree with this totally Siren. I need to make sure i am 'right' and happy with myself first before i put myself out there with my emotions. I need to have some level of stability.

                    (not sure how long it'll be before K9 achieves that.....:H....just JOKING!)

                    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                      #11
                      Single and dating

                      I agree getting one's self whole is a priority. Otherwise you rip yourself off and probably the other party to the relationship. Also agree that finding someone who does not drink does not necessarily mean all will be hunky dory. Addictions come in many forms and intensities.

                      Oh MrG you is brave. I see Niner hasn't replied yet...I think you is in big trouble.:H
                      Psalms 119:45


                      ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                      St. Francis of Assisi



                      I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                      :rays:

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                        #12
                        Single and dating

                        K9Lover;1584222 wrote: I don't have much advice either...I've kind of given up for now. Every guy I've met online has been creepy (no offense to those that find their Mr. Right! lol) I'm being selfish and focusing on ME right now...I figure Mr. Good Enough will come along someday. :H
                        creepy? but, but, you met me online :H

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                          #13
                          Single and dating

                          If rejection at this point would send you over the edge, you are not ready to date. IMHO OR the flip-side, if rejecting someone bothers you...don't date. I cant stand to hurt others feelings either. Im NOT dating because it is too much right now.
                          AF 10/21/2013...ODAT :kudos:

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                            #14
                            Single and dating

                            Well, Madonna advocated "the boy with cold hard cash is always Mr. Right."
                            In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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                              #15
                              Single and dating

                              "the boy with cold hard cash is always Mr. Right."
                              "Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.":H

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