I'm in trouble :(

[scotswhahay]

I'm in trouble.....
I came here before, couple years back, cant even recall my login, I bought my way out book etc. so not total stranger, but I need help.

I'm prob whats known as a functional alcoholic. I work, get up in mornings ok, get on with life but just cant seem to stop my 6 beers a night which is now escalated to a min of 8, often more and then wine with dinner.

I don't get drunk, well don't feel drunk but wife says she notices. I can stop for a night or two, but then go back.

just changed doctor n had blood tests which include liver function so guess results might expose me, I'm embarrassed and lied about my consumption to new doctor.

I think I should come clean with dr n seek help but I'm scared of being found out to be treated for alcoholism and lose job amongst other things I know I would lose.

please don't say I'd lose it anyway cos I don't think I would n its not a help.

I'd like to get help but scared, really scared of confidentiality issues.

I would gt help but CANNOT have it out of bag.

I'd go to Alch anonymous, but scared to be seen or see someone I know.

Anyone in Australia offer advice?? I'd prefer to maybe be prescribed something to take and be in secret.

There are so many reasons for secrecy, f it gets out, I'm finished, n will lose prob job, which means house, etc etc.

Any advice specific to Australia n regarding confidentiality??

thanks everyone for listening....

[Caper]

I'm in trouble

Scots.. I'm not quite sure what the time difference is between you and me - I'm in Massachusetts, USA ... but I suspect that quite soon you will hear from one of the MANY Aussies that post here. What struck me to respond to you, was your fear of being completely honest with your doctor. I see this all the time here, on this site, but have never understood it. Number One - your doctor is obligated under .... all kinds of stuff that I cannot bring to mind at this moment - maybe the Hippocratic Oath or something - but I KNOW - they have to keep confidential, anything you reveal to them. ... why would you, for a moment, thing that anything you share with your doctor would go public? You need to get past your fears about being exposed and just focus on getting sober.

[MossRose]

I'm in trouble

Hi Scots and a big welcome. You've come back to a great place. The people here are amazing. So let's just take a deep breath and see if we can work this out. I remember my first post, and how frightened I was. One step at a time, okay? I want to really understand what you are experiencing right now, so I'm going to ask you a question. It sounds like AL is affecting your relationship with your wife. Has it gotten to the point of being a serious problem, or just something that you both realize needs to be addressed? I was also a "high functioning" alcoholic, for what it's worth. But it did catch up to me. I want you to be able to avoid that.

Now, about the doctor. I didn't realize how similar things were in Australia and the States. I too have lived in fear of an "official diagnosis" from a doctor. My job would frown on that too, and I would worry about losing my health insurance. I only mention this so that you know that I understand. I came to MWO because of these fears. And it worked. I was able to stop drinking with the help of this wonderful community. But it takes a huge commitment. So that is one option for you. However, if you can't stop, and it is starting to affect your marriage and your health, then it's only a matter of time before your career is next. It's a natural progression. I know you said NOT to say that, but I speak from experience. I know this probably sounds harsh, but your health, your life, and your marriage are precious.

I wouldn't worry too much about the results of a liver function test. They can't prove it's from AL. Only you would really know that. But isn't that enough? Scots - hang around, post often, and let us help. We are here for you.

[Glass Half Empty]

I'm in trouble

Scots
I really don't think confidentiality is an issue with doctors here in Oz. The situation is very different to the US where there are complex health insurance issues. I can't think of any reason why the doctor would need to share your information with anyone and you can bet they have seen it all before many times, so they're unlikely to be judgemental.

That said, the GP is probably just a small part of your recovery plan (although perhaps necessary if you think you will have withdrawals) and there are lots of things you can also do by yourself. MWO can help and support you with all of those.

All the best, and please stay here and keep posting.

[giraffe1234]

I'm in trouble

Welcome back Scots. The people are are truly amazing in their support and nobody here is judgmental.
I'm still a newbie (18 days sober), and I have MWO to thank for it.
Glad that you're back and wishing you the best.
:welcome:

[istym4me]

I'm in trouble

I do hope you come back to post again. I am confused!
Did your liver test come back badly?

I know that Drs would write your info in your chart and while we are supposed to be protected we are not. I get it. I mean to get a note to go to treatment, the treatment center has to contact your insurance and then insurance contacts the Dr. I never signed a release for disclosure but SOMEHOW they all shared the information. I for one believe it's all crap. I understand the free.

I don't want to poop poop your drinking but I know many, many people in the 70s and 80s that have drank a few beers a day for life- You came here for a reason though. It's not just that you have 6-8 beers and that is going to magically make you loose your job and your Dr will know. What is it about the 6-8 beers that bothers you? Besides your wife 'noticing', does she elaborate on your actions or inaction? Do you think it's interfering with something specific?

[TJAF]

I'm in trouble

scotswhahay;1585126 wrote: I'm in trouble.....
I came here before, couple years back, cant even recall my login, I bought my way out book etc. so not total stranger, but I need help.

I'm prob whats known as a functional alcoholic. I work, get up in mornings ok, get on with life but just cant seem to stop my 6 beers a night which is now escalated to a min of 8, often more and then wine with dinner.

I don't get drunk, well don't feel drunk but wife says she notices. I can stop for a night or two, but then go back.

just changed doctor n had blood tests which include liver function so guess results might expose me, I'm embarrassed and lied about my consumption to new doctor.

I think I should come clean with dr n seek help but I'm scared of being found out to be treated for alcoholism and lose job amongst other things I know I would lose.

please don't say I'd lose it anyway cos I don't think I would n its not a help.

I'd like to get help but scared, really scared of confidentiality issues.

I would gt help but CANNOT have it out of bag.

I'd go to Alch anonymous, but scared to be seen or see someone I know.

Anyone in Australia offer advice?? I'd prefer to maybe be prescribed something to take and be in secret.

There are so many reasons for secrecy, f it gets out, I'm finished, n will lose prob job, which means house, etc etc.

Any advice specific to Australia n regarding confidentiality??

thanks everyone for listening....

Scots I can relate to your post in so many ways. I too was an everyday drinker but instead of 8 beers I was drinking up to a 1/5 of vodka (sometimes more/sometimes less) the other difference is that I was hiding my drinking from everyone including my wife and kids. I picked vodka cause you couldnt smell it and it blended in with anything. I also held it well, (didnt slur my speech, didnt stumble, didnt get hangovers per se) It got so bad that I started to drink my vodka (with a little diet coke) in a dark colored glass so you couldnt see how diluted my soft drink was. I also lied to my Doctor and for the same reasons. I quit cold turkey and I've been clean for 110 days now so it can be done.

Regarding the Doc. You seem to want a prescription to help you quit. Are you concerned about withdrawl or do you need help with the cravings (or both) If it is the cravings issue you can do it without drugs. In my experience intense cravings only last for about 15 minutes at a time and if you can distract yourself you can tough it out. Just need to shake up your day. Instead of sitting around the house, exercise or, take a walk or, get involved in some social activity that is away from booze. If your routine was to stop at a particular liquor store ( in my case it was a whole bunch since I tried to spread it around so I wouldnt be noticed) change your route home. simply put, you just need to change your routine.

If you are worried about withdraw, that too can be managed without drugs. There are suppliments that you can take that help and the good news is that they only last for a short time. However, if your withdrawls are severe ( and inlcude DTs) than you really do have to involve a Doc.

Most importantly if you cant open up to the people in your life for support than this forum is a wonderful tool. Stick close, IM people, post etc. You will find wonderful support. Good luck my friend

[scotswhahay]

I'm in trouble

Hi guys

many thanks for the replies.

ok I'll try to answer some of your questions to my question..

No not had results from blood test yet.

The 6-8 beers doesn't bother me at all, n if no-one said was damaging my health i'd be happy to carry on. Wife complains, but not bitterly, just tells me I drink too much.

I'm guessing my next doc visit I should be more open about things n see what she says.

I only had 5 beers last night and shared bottle wine with wife.

[Guitarista]

I'm in trouble

G'day Scots. Welcome back and good to see you.

Just to be clear, do you want to stop drinking entirely, or moderate your intake? If you wish to cut down/moderate, there is a moderation thread on the site that may be of help. If you want to stop drinking, this site can support you to do that too.

If your liver test comes back as bad news, you may need to stop drinking friend before the damage becomes irreversable if it already isn't. Having said that, when we stop drinking and give our liver a chance, it's amazing how it can often repair itself.

Best wishes on your journey and please check in and keep us posted.

G bloke.

[istym4me]

I'm in trouble

Will you post when your tests come back for liver function? I am so curious!

Good luck with moderating your intake. Cutting back a few can't hurt.

[YouKayBee]

I'm in trouble

scotswhahay;1585126 wrote: I'm in trouble.....
I came here before, couple years back, cant even recall my login, I bought my way out book etc. so not total stranger, but I need help.

I'm prob whats known as a functional alcoholic. I work, get up in mornings ok, get on with life but just cant seem to stop my 6 beers a night which is now escalated to a min of 8, often more and then wine with dinner.

I don't get drunk, well don't feel drunk but wife says she notices. I can stop for a night or two, but then go back.

just changed doctor n had blood tests which include liver function so guess results might expose me, I'm embarrassed and lied about my consumption to new doctor.

I think I should come clean with dr n seek help but I'm scared of being found out to be treated for alcoholism and lose job amongst other things I know I would lose.

please don't say I'd lose it anyway cos I don't think I would n its not a help.

I'd like to get help but scared, really scared of confidentiality issues.

I would gt help but CANNOT have it out of bag.

I'd go to Alch anonymous, but scared to be seen or see someone I know.

Anyone in Australia offer advice?? I'd prefer to maybe be prescribed something to take and be in secret.

There are so many reasons for secrecy, f it gets out, I'm finished, n will lose prob job, which means house, etc etc.

Any advice specific to Australia n regarding confidentiality??

thanks everyone for listening....

You say you want help, but in a later post you say you are only wanting to give up because your wife isn't happy - you're fine with your intake BUT you are also embarassed enough to lie about your intake and desire to keep it secret.

Do you know you'll lose your job?

I know most employers (ok I'm talking UK here) now treat alcoholism as an illness, they give you a chance, and some will even pay for treatment. If you continually take the piss however, or make a mistake/performance drops then they'll be less understanding. Many people around you might already be aware of your level of intake, be used to seeing your bloodshot eyes, or perhaps you are one of the lucky few it hasn't created a physical change in. Seeing that you've recognised and done something about an alcohol problem usually gets a much more positive response than someone continuing to drink in denial.

Regards AA.

It is anonymous and people are not meant to talk outside the rooms, unless they have explicit permission from the other person. I was once talked about my another member outside an AA room, and I took it back to AA because it was serious BUT luckily the person they talked to already knew I was at the meeting. This however is most unusual, if someone is at an AA meeting they are there for
the exact same reason you are and have no reason to go blabbing and there's an agreement at every meeting that everything stays in the room.

If you do see someone you know they'd be more likely to be happy for you that you were there getting and enjoying the support on offer, more concerned you are ok than engaging in potentially harmful gossip.

In the same vein Drs are also bound by confidentiality clauses, breaching patient confidentiality is serious and could lead to them being struck off and unable to continue in practice.

[scotswhahey]

I'm in trouble

Hi sorry not been on for a bit,

was getting tests redone n docs appt.

Doc not overly concerned at this point, has put me on cholestrerol free diet and exercise every day which I been doing, also told me my liver test was bit elevated n to aim for 5 AF days a week, cos I don't like just one.

the test itself GGT or something similar should've been a max of 65, mine was 95,
dunno how much shock horror that is.

Doc wants to see me n three months, I'm religiously doing exercise, watching diet, having every other day AF at mo, will work up to 5.

Drinking light beer n down to 4 now, still have wine, but its gotta be big improvement on before. was 6-8 full strength every night.

[propartychief]

I'm in trouble

Scots,
I don't "know" you but you seem like a smart man. That being said you do what you think is right! I don't care if you only have a half a glass if that is too much for your liking than that is too much!!!!
Now G-Bloke (Gutiarista) is one of the kindest and smartest men I have known here his input is of the utmost of value!! He has "been there done that"!! So listen to him !!

This place CAN HELP! they were for me in my darkest hours(suicidal) of my life and held my hand through it all. I'm not proud of where I came from or how I got her but I DID!!!
You are on the right path Brother!

I don't come in here often nor do I ever post but yours "struck a cord" so to speak and I had to respond.

MUCH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!


BOB

[Rags]

I'm in trouble

Hello there Scots,

There shouldn't be any problem with confidentiality with your doctor.
When you see your doctor for the test results, why not tell him/her how much you really drink. That way he /she can better work out a plan with you.

The only person who will tell your work about your drinking is either yourself or if you tell a work colleague and they then report you.

As for AA, what about going to the next suburb for meetings?

[giraffe1234]

I'm in trouble

Still following your post and glad you are still around. Exercise helped me; hope it does the same for you. Have you had your pancreas function checked out? The dr may not have thought to do that if he didn't know your real intake.
What Propartychief said is certainly true: this place can help. The support is tremendous, and what really strikes me is that nobody here is judgmental - even if you fall off the wagon, get back on, fall off etc etc. My thoughts and good wishes to you during December - it is a particularly hard time I think for everyone.