I don't deserve this site

[cassy]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison...shame and fear are a toxic mix that send us on the run from ourselves and our emotions.

i am sure problem drinkers haver hyper sensitivity to life ..or maybe we just got honest eventually.

Dont beat yourself up...you have done really well..ok so you had some crap days too..but maybe the sober or moderating days are taking over the drinking days...

come on...get back on track

[morrison]

I don't deserve this site

cassy;130606 wrote: Hi Morrison...shame and fear are a toxic mix that send us on the run from ourselves and our emotions.

i am sure problem drinkers haver hyper sensitivity to life ..or maybe we just got honest eventually.

Dont beat yourself up...you have done really well..ok so you had some crap days too..but maybe the sober or moderating days are taking over the drinking days...

come on...get back on track

Cas, I just responded to one of your other posts. Did you just make up that first line?

shame and fear are a toxic mix that send us on the run from ourselves and our emotions.

If so, that is really good stuff. Brilliant actually. Just take credit for it regardless, cause its pretty good. I love the written word. I wish I had more talent in that area.

[cassy]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison....sounds to me like you are really ready to look at what you really want and need from life...painful as it is sometimes we have to let go of some of the drinking buddies or at least only be around them in situations where the tempatation to drink isnt there(not too many alcohol free places these days either)

when i am in AF mode i have to tell my "dangerous to be with friends" that i need to do something other than drinking with them,...go for a walk, sport, cinema, theatre, climb a mountain , cook anything but go to a bar.

I cam e on tonight thinking its not possible for many people to stick with moderating and i still think thats the evidence i read.

for now like you journey on through life with the highs and lows.....glad in a way its not all plain sailing as i would not be compassionate and forgiving if i hadnt had a few knocks along the way.

good Luck morrison...get some rest and get back on with a few days AF and eating well , reading the posts..sleeping and most of all accepting and loving yourself for who you are.

hope you feel better soon.Cassy

[paula]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison,
Hope you feel better soon. I think we have all felt at some time, how you are feeling now,
but it will pass. I will say a little prayer for you, it works wonders.
Love Paula.

[Paddy]

I don't deserve this site

G'day Morrison,

Just woke up this side of the world (that seems to be my expression, ha, ha). Not, like all the others said, it's not worth to go out to 'booze-hell' to re-group. Better stay with us here.

Two weeks ago, I had a couple of setbacks, not bad, but enough to make me feel crappy. If I hadn't had the positive influence from members here, my low might have been even lower. So better stick around, please.

;-)

[mamatee]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison,
I just logged on after a while away -- I'm sorry to read that you haven't had the best of days. Though I was cheered by the return of your strong spirit as the posts went on. I'm cheering for you in Denver!

[nancy]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison

I know how you feel, like there is some kind of evil person inside.

i think everyone has good and bad traits. but when we are sober we have the sense to
hide the bad ones, we recognize we don't want to hurt people with insensitive comments. we are more inhibited and that is a good thing.

getting nasty while drunk doesn't mean you are a bad person.

i think you will find it harder to fix the problem if you continue to think that these episodes mean you are bad deep down. you need to care about yourself to make positive changes.

since coming to this site i have changed my mindset a lot and become so much more educated about the problem. but i have failed at moderation. i have succeeded at not letting other people see so i don't have the guilt issues you have. but that is not real success because i know the truth.

everytime i fail i just try something else.

good luck!

[ScoobyDoo]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison, I've got to say, you sound like a really REALLY nice guy

I agree with the others about problem drinkers/alcoholics being hyper sensitive.

I really feel for you. I am 37 but I have had the odd line of coke or ecstasy when I was younger and out drinking... they make you feel so bad the next day. Magnifies the alcohol hangover tenfold.

I would also Express Courier some valium to you but hopefully by now you've allowed your body and mind the rest and you're feeling back to your perky happy self.

Lots more love coming your way from Australia
Doo

[Guest]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison,

I am just catching up now. I am so sorry you had a set-back, and it sounds like a big one. You are such a wonderful guy and I'm glad you decided to stick around with us misfits. I find too if I leave for a few days I can handle myself, but I end up drinking a bottle or two instead of only a couple of glasses. I just can't yet, one day I will be strong enough.

Focus on you right now and your body. Help it heal. Drink lots of electrolytes, they will help replenish your body and take your LGlut and Kudzu. Load up on some protein, in any form of it you like. A nice juicy filet steak, sushi, whatever you want. Treat yourself, you body and soul needs it.

Big hugs coming your way.
xoxox

[cassy]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison..hope the hangover is calming .

Yes the shame and fear thing were my words.

I have this theory that fear stops us from changing..we want to hang on to what we perceive as the good times the booze gives us/ so what we want is controlled boozing without the conswequences of our actions................not possible for us problem drinkers very often i dont think!!!!

Can there be fun times when sober...wont it be boring..wont we become dull....all thought that flit through our minds arent they.

When you have drank for many years its hard to unpick whats "normal for us"

Keep a drinks diary maybe and look at it at the end of each week..dont just write what you drank but include the why and the consequences afterwards...can make insightfull reading at times.

Hope you get to give your mind and body some calm time this week...be gentle on yourself.i truly believe that the power of prayer is amazing ..it doesnt work in an obvious way.

People cross our paths daily that impact on us somehow without their ever knowing it...a bit like the people on this site.

so drag yourself out of your pit today..look to see where to get help and support and make a small step in that direction to healthy esteem...go morrisongo...we are here for you.(ps ...you arent alone in living the shame...we all have been there...thats what problem drinkers live with fear, shame, guilt..all negative stuff that has to be channelled into the urge to move on to better lifestyle)

Keeping you in my prayers today...Regards Cassy

[satori]

I don't deserve this site

Hey Morrison,

Just catching up with your tale too.

Hope you are feeling better now - yep - been there done that too - fallen down too many times!
I wish I could capture how I feel when I am really suffering - that way I could play a few seconds of it bac every time I felt tempted!

When you fall down, the only real crime is not getting back up again!

Looks like you are still here and on your feet for the next round.
Sounds like a result to me!

In my book - the toughest guys are the ones with the B**ls to ask for help!

Don't be so hard on yourself!!

Take care

Satori

[goingsobermum]

I don't deserve this site

Hi Morrison,
You didn't drink because you are bad or a jerk, you drank because alcohol is and still has a hold on you. Keep coming back and start again and again untill that hold goes. You can do it!

[Cashregister]

I don't deserve this site

You deserve everyhting, you are a wonderful human being who made a boo boo - show me one who hasn't

Lotsa love

Cashy

[Elizabeth]

I don't deserve this site

Hey Morrison, don't put yourself down anymore. Some are doing well on this site and others are not, still battling - but the closeness and understanding here is like a protective blanket that helps us all. Don't go, stay. If all of us that were being bad about ourselves left there would not be a MWO. You are part of us. Stay Bwana.

[Accountable for Me]

I don't deserve this site

Howdy Morrison,

I have been away for a couple of months - dealing with my life. I had a couple of drinks on my birthday mid - April and I was able to stop (and I know you can too.... just be patient with yourself and keep telling yourself you are SO WORTH IT!!! I know how easy it is to end up on a bender. The last few years of my life should of been labled "The Cycle of My Benders". I know I don't really know you in person but from what I have been able to tell is that you care about yourself enough to want to stop. Like every one here, actually.

Don't go away, because like someone had said, we found this site when we were feeling really sick emotionally and physically. The love and support here is what keeps us on our toes and reminds us at times about how this problem can get the better of us at times. There is NEVER any judgment here only support.

We love you, and I hope you are OK. :l