There seemed to be no specific triggers, other than coming home late after a long evening of driving my autistic son from activity to activity after school. There is a lot of driving during rush hour, fighting to park and then waiting around during the activity. I think I felt that I needed a "reward" after a long day. When I came home I felt anxious, missing a glass of wine (which I know full well would have turned into a full bottle, or more). I was not "in the mood" to distract myself, even though there was cleaning up, laundry and dishes to do. I read while watching TV instead.
This morning I woke up extremely grateful that I made it through. I thought about what my morning would have been like if I decided to drink.... Like I said 1 drink = > 6 drinks. There is no getting around that equation for me. It would not have been pretty this morning.
My question is how often and how many of these evenings do I have to endure before they go away? I think I need to go throughout the tool box more thoroughly, nothing seemed to click at all yesterday for me though. I felt stuck in this craving deprived mind frame that I couldn't snap out of. Any suggestions?
Comment