Hello All,
Just need to vent about my idiotic behavior last night. I've been feeling horrible about it ALL day. And it's not something that I can share with the hubby because he would not understand and I don't want to face his dissapointment. I mentioned this in an earlier post. Hubby was at work so I invited friends over, picked up a couple of bottles of wine,
a 6-pack of Red Stripe, and a delicious vegetarian pizza. We had great conversations, drank, laughed, had dinner, drank and laughed some more, and then said goodnight. My friends pretty much maintained a reasonable amount of alcohol consumption as they had to drive home. Me on the other hand, I drained a bottle of wine on my own and even had a half of glass from friend's bottle. Way to much wine! After my friends left, I got overly emotional when I couldn't find my cigs, cried, banged my head on my bedside table as I bent over to look under the bed (for the cigs), and of course, got into bed and passed out pretty quickly. I woke up at 4:30am with all of those horrible feelings I haven't felt for awhile--guilt, shame, disappointment, anxiety, and sadness. If I would have had beer instead of wine, I would have had just a few (like normal drinkers can do), but instead I plowed through the wine like it is water. Or even better yet, I could have just stuck to water or a soda. Just hating on myself right now a lot and needed to talk about to people I know will understand and not judge. I've gone in and added the next few days as AF days/0 drinks on the drinkcounter. Starting over again.
Thanks for listening.
Julie
Just need to vent about my idiotic behavior last night. I've been feeling horrible about it ALL day. And it's not something that I can share with the hubby because he would not understand and I don't want to face his dissapointment. I mentioned this in an earlier post. Hubby was at work so I invited friends over, picked up a couple of bottles of wine,
a 6-pack of Red Stripe, and a delicious vegetarian pizza. We had great conversations, drank, laughed, had dinner, drank and laughed some more, and then said goodnight. My friends pretty much maintained a reasonable amount of alcohol consumption as they had to drive home. Me on the other hand, I drained a bottle of wine on my own and even had a half of glass from friend's bottle. Way to much wine! After my friends left, I got overly emotional when I couldn't find my cigs, cried, banged my head on my bedside table as I bent over to look under the bed (for the cigs), and of course, got into bed and passed out pretty quickly. I woke up at 4:30am with all of those horrible feelings I haven't felt for awhile--guilt, shame, disappointment, anxiety, and sadness. If I would have had beer instead of wine, I would have had just a few (like normal drinkers can do), but instead I plowed through the wine like it is water. Or even better yet, I could have just stuck to water or a soda. Just hating on myself right now a lot and needed to talk about to people I know will understand and not judge. I've gone in and added the next few days as AF days/0 drinks on the drinkcounter. Starting over again.
Thanks for listening.
Julie
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