Rock bottom????

[Kitty]

Dear all,

What does everyone think to the subject of us having to reach "rock bottom" before we can begin to make changes in our lives.

I was just watching a morning chat show, they were discussing the David Hasselhoff tape, and a physchologist said that they were confident he would now be able to recover as he had hit his "rock bottom"

Well I can honestly say that I have never reached mine (although perversly enough I have wished it upon myself on many occassions, in order to get into rehab etc) and I hope it is not a prerequisite to beating my problems with alcohol.

I have done some truly awful things and although my drinking has been a major contributing element in the wrongs I have done, I have always managed to function. I have always managed to hold on to a job, a place to live and care for myself (to a degree), any onlooker probably wouldn't know I had a problem if they did not know me very personally.

I ask this question also as this is one of the reasons I didn't like AA. I heard some truly horrific stories there and came away with the impression that it would be of great help to me maybe in the future if my drinking escalated to a truly unmanageable extent.

I have 6 af days under my belt for the first tme maybe ever in my drinking history, I feel proud and wonderful but a little dissmayed at what I heard this morning. I hope with the help of this site to deal with my problems right now! I don't want to have to hit rock bottom. I have lost alot through drinking (my self esteem and reputaion) but I want to keep what I have now. I am slowly mending my relationship with my partner and my family and I hate to think that it is only when we hit our lowest that we can begin to recover.

:thanks:

Kitty

[Guest]

Rock bottom????

Kitty, that is such a loaded question. What is rock bottom? My lying around in my bath robe drinking screwdrivers watching the view and passed out by 6pm, was when my husband said you need to go to therapy honey. Then i found this site and life has been so much better. Some people have to lose it all, home family money. With others it just may be one drunk encounter pointed out by a friend or loved one. Everyone is unique, but I think when it's time we deep down know. I knew before my husband said anything to me. I just wasn't ready to change.Once he said those words I was. Could I have pushed it and went further?, sure. But it was my time for change. I have yet to see the Hasselhoff tape as things like that tend to make me uncomfortable.
Always wishing you the best
Mary

[ScoobyDoo]

Rock bottom????

I disagree with that notion of hitting 'rock bottom'. I'm reading an excellent book at the moment called 'Moderation Management' and the author goes into quite some detail about this whole outdated AA concept, and her theory sits right with me.

Perhaps some people who are chronic and don't want to truly help themselves or recognise their problem... and who are not ready to stop (or can't because of the detox process) - will hit rock bottom before they choose to help themselves. But the bottom line is that it's all about choice regardless of where you are on the so called "rock bottom" spectrum.

I think for most of us here, we have recognised we have a problem with alcohol and initiated and sought self help all by ourselves. That's not hitting rock bottom... it's choosing to do something about it sooner rather than later.

And regarding poor old David Hasselhoff, who knows... maybe it's rock bottom, maybe it's not. It's not for anybody else to judge.

And that's my two cents worth
Scooby

[hidden_gem]

Rock bottom????

Hey Kitty,

What a great question.

About five years ago, when I first started to become concerned about my drinking, I attended three AA meetings. It didn?t help. Because I actually came away thinking, ?Wow? I?m not as bad as those people.? Being a (very little bit) wiser, now, I can see ? yes I was as bad ? it just hadn?t affected my outside life as much as that point. I thought that because 1) I hadn?t lost my job/spouse/family because of it and 2) hadn?t ever woken up naked on my front lawn (ok, that was just one guy?s story) that I wasn?t that bad and therefore AA couldn?t help me. In fact, a girl who gave me a lift home from a meeting one night told me I was so lucky to realise my problem before I hit ?rock bottom?.

Well, rock bottom is all relative. And it?s about the inside of me, not what happens outside. So my life may look perfectly functional, but I know what rock bottom is. Rock bottom doesn?t have to mean that I?ve lost everything and the whole world knows that I?m a mess. Rock bottom is when I think I?m a mess.

The problem with other people defining when I?m at rock bottom is that it means I can keep making a mess until everyone is disappointed at me. And then I get to be the phoenix from the flames and make this huge transformation (like in the movies). The thing is, part of the reason I have this addiction to alcohol is that I always valued others? opinions more than mine.

Part of my recovery is learning to listen to how I feel inside. So I?m the only measure of rock bottom, no one else. And my definition of rock bottom (ok, I?ve quoted that so many times I?m realizing what a strange phrase it is!) is when I feel so miserable in who I am and what I?m doing, that I have no choice but to change. The outside circumstances really don?t matter. Make sense?

Much love to you

Gem x

[hidden_gem]

Rock bottom????

And PS...

To my shame, I did watch Hasselhoff's video. Not proud that I watched it. I am a bit ashamed that I gave into my curiousity.

But to be honest... it is a few seconds of him behaving like many of us have. Drunk and scoffing food. Unable to focus and barely able to respond in a conversation.

That's a very typical Friday night in Sydney for the after-hours office drinks brigade, and can be seen in every pub in the city.

[Kitty]

Rock bottom????

Thanks everyone,

And yes Hidden-gem you make perfect sense. It is relative and I suppose I have hit my own personal rock bottom, as in I don't want things to get any worse.

:thanks:

Kitty

[pixie]

Rock bottom????

I think a change in our drinking habits comes when we have a change in attitude - when we really want it for ourselves, not just when we know we should. And that often occurs after a bad event.

And just like the saying "you always find something you lost in the last place you look, because then you stop looking", you stop falling deeper when you turn things around, so that bad event is the 'rock bottom'. It doesn't mean you couldn't have fallen deeper, you just didn't.

I also think you don't have to fall deeply to turn things around, you just need the attitude change, whenever that may occur for you. If it happens earlier, good for you, and it doesn't mean you'll be less successful.

Just my two cents as well. Happy Friday!

pixie

[AAthlete]

Rock bottom????

Kitty, as others have said rock bottom is different for everybody. For one person it can mean sleeping in a box under a bridge, while for me it could mean the threat of losing my family if I continue to drink and hide it.

Only you know whether or not it is or isn't - it's almost like a mental switch in your head to say I can't do this anymore, it's just not worth it. However, people can reach that point but still have a desire to drink and in that case it may not be true rock bottom. After all, lots of us have SAID never again, only to wind up drinking a week, month, etc. year later.

[satori]

Rock bottom????

I guess we all have our own personal rock bottom.

But I guess there are a series of ledges on the way to the very bottom thank goodness - and I stopped on some of the ledges on my journey - one had a mirror to look in - I had a look, and I didn't recognise "me" anymore just this weird wasted guy looking back at me.
On several occasions I swam up towards the surface - but inevitably started sinking again I hit that ledge quite a few times and on some occasions stood with my forehead against the mirror saying to whoever the wasted guy in there was - "you are going to kill yourself if you don't stop this shit pretty soon"

On the last of my plummets, the ledge I stopped on had my youngest son on it. On that ledge I got to hear myself lie barefacedly to my 12 year old kid about my drinking.
Some role model eh?

That was as far down as I was going.
That was when I decided to inflate the life vest!

I keep it close by to this day - it says MWO on it in big letters!

Satori

xxx

[zincityzen]

Rock bottom????

AA also talks about "high bottom" drunks. When I went to AA six years ago, it was after having four very evil shoot-me-now hangovers in about two weeks time, no blackouts, just some memories of stupid, drunken, dangerous show-off behavior. I did say something to other AA members that I didn't feel I belonged there because I hadn't crashed my car, broken any bones, or lost my job. They said, "NOT YET!" And I agree with that. For me looking over the cumulative effect alcohol has had on my life and being honest about it is sort of a bottom. Not only do I never want to have a shoot-me-now morning (8+ drinks), but also just that thick, under-the-weather groggy feeling (2+ drinks).

[dilayne]

Rock bottom????

running out the door so didn't have a chance to read everyone's response, but I think it's all in how you want to interpret 'bottom'...zin eluded to it....I think I have a relatively high bottom...I don't have to hit the 'rock' to get 'it'..but I've hit 'MY' bottom a time or two to get the point..I've never had a DUI, lost a job, etc... a few too many hangovers, low self esteem and a few extra pounds is usually enough to tell me I've got a problem to deal with.

[Breez]

Rock bottom????

a rock bottom per se? So I thought I did -in my own way so many times but eventually I'd go back to drinking despite the fact. But what made me go AF~not hitting my little rock bottoms but:


an EPIPHANY.


pure & simple

[morrison]

Rock bottom????

I liked what I heard from a shrink on a show I've seen one time. He said the key to helping people was not stopping them before they hit rock bottom. He said that they needed to hit rock bottom. The key, is to "raise" what the bottom is. In other words, we need something, somebody, to make us feel like we hit rock bottom, so we get the help we need. For me, I would say it was just my family and freinds making me feel so guilty for the shit I would continue to do. Without them raising the bottom to where I felt I needed help, my rock bottom would probably end in my own death or somebody elses. This is a good place because we all have hit a different rock bottom as demonstrated by this thread. I think we have been fortunate enough to realize we needed help before things got out of control, and I'm thankful for that.

[Kitty]

Rock bottom????

Morrison I love that analogy it makes great sense. The bf raised mine last week and gave me a glimpse of where I , or at least our relationship was headed.

:thanks:

Kitty