What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

[j-vo]

I've been reading and learning, re-learning about sobriety. There are so many ways people stay sober, and that's my goal. I've tried many methods, and what's right for one person does not necessarily work for another. But what is it that makes one's program solid? Is it meetings, how many meetings? Is it coming here to MWO and reading, posting, supporting, or face-to-face and MWO? I've been reading and posting on MWO, writing in my journal in Just Starting Out, but lately, I've been considering this question. Do I need more? What will keep me from being sucked into that Rabbit Hole? Did you start off at MWO then realize you needed more? I would be grateful for any and all replies. Thanks!!!!

[NoraC]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Really good question. Wish I had the answer. I try to stick very close to MWO. I run into problems when I pull away from here. I have a core group of people that I can lean on for support.
Will be interested to hear other people's opinions.

[Sunbeam]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Hi J-Vo,
It is good to see you again.

My best tool is a list of 100 ways to stay sober that I got from Mario, then posted on the toolbox thread. I made it my own, deleting redundant activities, checking off ones I had done. The same thing could be accomplished through repeated visits for ideas to that thread. You will know you have done enough when you don't want to drink any more. Often just looking at my list gave me the boost I needed. I haven't looked at it for several months now.

[sammynorm]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

My 'program' seems to be a little of a number of things. I typically hit 0 to 3 'recovery' meetings a week. Depending on how life is going. Sometimes it's 1 meeting a day if there's something 'big' going on (like when I found out a childhood friend drank himself to death). The recovery meetings consist of AA and Buddhist recovery meetings. I'm also working with a therapist, I see her every 2 weeks. Other than that, this website, books, writing/journaling.

I think the biggest thing for me is not to forget I can't drink and use drugs 'normally' (although the people in the non-recovery world are continually trying to help me forget this fact).

[NoSugar]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Hi, j-vo

I read this earlier today and thought about it a lot on our drive home. It is a good point that we need to have a support system in place. I'm not sure why but right now I'm in the Easy Breezy days. However, that will not always be the case and it is important to be prepared.

I have not talked about this in gory detail with anyone in my real world life and have never attended a meeting.

So - MWO and a few individuals I have met here are my sources of support. I think this is enough because the only thing I have to do is to NEVER take that first drink.

Staying connected daily is important to me. An early morning check-in reinforces my commitment for the day. Trying to help others by typing what I believe makes those beliefs more and more a part of me. I think the process of organizing your thoughts and typing them out helps rewire your brain. The stories of others remind me daily where I was and where I will be again if I take a drink.

Also important is staying open to what others here are sharing. Lav and FallenAngel helped me understand the transformative power of gratitude. That has really helped me change my thinking in ways that go beyond not drinking but for that, each and every day I am thankful I do not need to drink and am free of all the chains that went with that.

I have promised myself that I will post here or contact a friend before I drink. Just thinking about posting has stopped me in my tracks. Now that I am once again keeping promises to myself, this is a good tool that I know I will use if I need to.

Earlier in my quit, MWO was unavailable periodically - often for several hours or even a day. This really shook me up and inspired me to be sure I could get in touch with at least a few people by phone or email if necessary. I think that is pretty important if your main or only source of support is online. Have a back-up plan.

I have read voraciously about alcoholism and addiction and watched several videos and documentaries. This is my typical approach to problem solving but I didn't let myself do it for this problem until I finally started to solve it by joining MWO. Once I began learning and putting into practice what I learned, things started to click. I plan to continue learning as much as I can.

Everyone in my real life knows I no longer drink and I don't want to ever again. So, while they are not a source of support in the sense of knowing how trapped I was, they would question my drinking again. Since there is no reason I should ever drink again, the thought of trying to answer that question is a deterrent. There is no excuse for me to ever drink again and this is entirely under my control and my responsibility.

And finally, I am re-becoming the person I was before I became addicted and I trust myself not to make such a stupid, self-destructive choice.

That said, if all of the above ever did not seem to be sufficient, I would find an in-person program. That thought terrifies me but not as much as going back.

Thanks for the thread - I'm glad to have thought through this.

:h NS

[allswell]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

MWO was a welcome addition to several other changes I made in my life which made a huge difference.
Exercise regularly, never skip meals, eat healthy, get plenty of rest, rid myself of people that aren't a compliment to my sobriety, and finding new and interesting people , places, and activities. It took awhile to put it all into place but when it all comes together it's a reminder of what a life drainer drinking is. It's so refreshing not having to fear the future.

[Lavande]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Hi j-vo!

It's true that we are all different & have different needs!

I think the thing that really helped me was working up the courage to strip away the bullshit & be completely honest with myself for the first time in a long time.
Why did I continue to drink even when I really didn't want to drink? I was simply using AL to numb some emotional stuff that I didn't want to face
Breaking the pattern of self-destructive behavior is hard work but it can be done! Finding substitute behaviors that are healthy & help you to heal are key! For me it was meditation & exercise.
I visit MWO at least twice per day. I've made some great virtual friends here who seem to know me better than my real life friends. I've received much support over the past nearly 5 years here

Wishing you continued success

Lav

[j-vo]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Well, obviously my program needs adjustments as I drank last night. I will get this. Filled now with shame and regret that I let AL into my life, yet once again.

Nora, staying close to the boards will be priority.

Sammy, I think I need face to face contact added to my program. I need more support and being accountable to others.

No sugar, Thanks for the thoughtful post. I know the power of gratitude and being in that mode is where I need to be in order for long-lasting sobriety. I also need to make promises to myself and do it daily. I'm an avid reader and I need to start rereading. My sobriety needs to be priority.

All well, yet another important addition to my program is exercise and clean eating.

Lavande, being honest with self is on my list. I know that if I drink, I will lose. Lose my health, my life. I used or meditate as well, mostly for my severe anxiety. I know it works.

Thank you all for the feedback!

[j-vo]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Sunbeam, what page is your list on. Thank you!

[Byrdlady]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

What a wonderful thread...
J-Vo, I'm so sorry that you are starting again. I feel like I wrote the book on that one... I could have saved myself A LOT of despair had I quit and just stayed quit. I hope this one you embark on will be the one that sticks. It is inevitable that we quit, it's just a matter of when.
My game plan is a combo of Lav and NoSugar's! I check in here all thru out the day. I stay in the newbie's nest because I see what AL does to people first hand. I see what happens after a period of sobriety and how those people feel after having taken a drink. In a way, the NN is a reflection of ALL stages of ALK'ism. I can see the past, present and future there. I know from bitter experience what ONE drink will do and I'm one drink away from repeating the cycle all over again. No thanks.
My game plan is to STAY connected with my support system. Like NoSugar, I had Lav to lean on for extra support! Just the thought of having her there was a huge help. I respect her so much....I still look to her for guidance. I do what she does and so far, so good.
I do not put myself into temptation's way. I don't cook with AL and I don't handle AL.
I do not buy AL.
I do not attend AL free for all's in my neighborhood. If I HAVE to go to one for my work, I go late and leave early.
I will not consume ONE DROP of AL. Not one, not ever.
I will stay connected with support here on MWO.
I will protect my QUIT with all I've got....because as it turns out, it's all I've got.
I will not yield to peer pressure...I don't care what they think.
What's in a glass does not make the moment....people do.
I will put myself in the service of others....if I can help one person escape this trap, I will do it.

All the best to you....Byrdie

[j-vo]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Byrdie,
Thanks for your thoughtful post. I'll copy and paste your response in my journal as your program is strong and you are a success. I want to be where you are, where I can talk back to my al voice. I know the consequences of al abuse will never go away. I don't want to self destruct and that's happened to me.

[Sunbeam]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Hi J-Vo,
The list is on page 23, permalink 225.

[j-vo]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Thanks Sunbeam!

[j-vo]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

Molly,
Thank you! And I put more supports into my program, as I slipped last night. I've got three people to call, one local, and two from the boards. You're right. What works for one may not for another, some need more or less. I guess I have to do some tweaking to my program, as if it worked, last night may not have happened. But I'm getting there! Thank you for your thoughts.

[j-vo]

What's your Program and What Makes it Solid?

As I reflect on the past several AF weeks, I know that this is the life I was meant to live. My confidence increased, my anxiety decreased, and just a feeling of peace inside. That's who I was meant to be, and I absolutely cannot with AL in my life. I slipped, yesterday, and NOT happy with that, but it obviously made me think twice about the program I have in place and some things I need to do so as not to fall into the same trap. My program:

Read/post on MWO twice daily
Everyday, anytime of the day, repeat "I don't drink."
Never become complacent. This is priority. Without sobriety, my life sucks.
Text, pm message my new mentors. Thank you!
Meet with my gf who is 7 years sober. Listen to her. Learn from her.
Continue reading about alcoholism, as it will keep the bad consequences fresh in my mind.
Support people here, and receive support. Connecting to others with the same problem is important.
Incorporate consistent exercise daily.
Eat better. Went shopping today!