Sober December!

[NoraC]

Sober December!

Hey all - I'm still here with you too!!

Pavati - I know what you mean about telling your family. I just say that I'm not drinking right now. So far that is what I have been comfortable with.

Glad to see you all here. :h

[free at last]

Sober December!

Hi Pavati, yeah, I am on the road 50-75% of each month. But it will be ending end of spring next year so I take the work while I can get it.

Another AF day for me. Have to finish up some work projects and then hit the pool.

Stay strong everyone.

[skullbabyland]

Sober December!

@Free- great job of keeping sober and strong while on the road! I'm sure that can be challenging... great to hear you're keeping with it.

@NoraC- awesome, so glad to hear it! Thanks for sticking with us

@Pavati- So glad you're sticking with it! As for telling family/friends- this is a subject I've thought a lot about. I've often found that a simple "just juice or iced tea for me, thanks" is often enough. If they say "what, no beer?" I often only need to say "I'm on a health kick". Or "I'm trying to get a bit healthier". Oftentimes that's enough. Sometimes I can sense a little silent relief in the person, especially if I'm talking to someone who wishes the best for me and knows I usually drink too much. Sometimes, it can feel a little judging, but often that's more in my head, and it's a good opportunity to practice thoughts of "it doesn't matter how others perceive me, as long as I'm being good and true to myself". Anyway that's what works well for me. If the person asks more direct questions about it, I can either choose to talk about it or not. Or even defer- "maybe we can talk about it more another time".

The point is, YOU are in control of what and how much you want to divulge, and how awkward or how comfortable it gets. If you frame it as easy and comfortable, stating things matter of factly, that's how most people respond.

Hope that helps

[skullbabyland]

Sober December!

Sorry for the duplicate post but I had some December/Christmas/holidays-related thoughts that I thought I'd copy/paste from my progress thread-

"I also am having some anxiety around family visits during the holidays, particularly my GF's family. They've got a lot of problems and are hard to be around. Very socially awkward and lots of negative conflicted feelings and bad history. And we have to spend 5 days at a cabin with them. They're good people and my GF loves them but they're hard to be around. So, guess how my mind wants to spend those 5 days? I keep finding myself thinking "maybe I should just say 'fuck it' and drink, at least that'd make the time go faster and I'd have some fun. Or at least ease the pain". But of course that's a lie- all the hangover days would make the anxiety tons worse and make the trip tons worse. I'd be in a much higher state of anxiety whenever I wasn't drinking. Even now part of me is like "well, just stay drunk the whole 5 days". And part of me likes that idea.

But, I made a commitment to 90 days. I'm trying to be true to my word (The first of the Four Agreements), even and especially to myself. If I make a commitment or a promise, I do my best to see it through. So, that means Nov, Dec, Jan all sober. (And maybe onwards past that). I'm just about right in the halfway point of that block of time. Sigh. Sometimes being an adult isn't easy or fun.

But I'm learning that it's ultimately more fullfilling. I'll feel better overall if I keep my word and stay sober. I'll feel better about myself in January. I'll probably ultimately have a better trip even with the GF's family.

I've also got a side project that I'll be bringing with me when travelling for the holidays. An art project in which I'm drawing five comic pages for an upcoming anthology collection, that should serve as a nice excuse when I want a couple hours away from socializing with family- I can just retire to my room to draw for a while. That should be a good coping mechanism."

Thought I'd post that here especially because of the coping mechanism part. Sometimes I find staying sober is easier if you give yourself a positive "distraction", or something useful to do with your time. A project or a goal. For me, it's the comic pages. I'll have some fun doing some art, and it'll serve nicely as an excuse to get a few hours here or there as respite from socializing.

Do you guys have thoughts on this? Anyone got something similar that might help ease anxiety and/or stay sober?

[Pavati]

Sober December!

Hi,

Well, just lost my first post. I was saying... Skull - exercise is key for me to relieve anxiety. You have your art/work and can always just say that you're very sorry but you have work to do for the week and will have to take a couple of hours each day to do it.

Sunbeam posted this in the toolbox - includes a video of quick qigong to help anxiety (I can picture you all doing reverse jumping jacks now. Heh.) Just the breathing alone helps me out. 3 Tips to Lower Anxiety | Higher Mind Health

Finishing Day 9. Glad you are all still here to encourage me. Thanks!

[spiderwoman]

Sober December!

Hi guys, staying distracted and making sure you never feel deprived is absolutely essential in beating this thing. Find other things to reward yourself with and never lose sight of the fact you are doing this for you, and only you, you cannot do it for anybody else. Well done on getting this far, it really does get easier. I started by aiming for 90 days, then somebody on here, I think it may have been Byrdlady said what after that? It didn't take me long to decide to go for 900 days, then 9000 days as I never want to go back to the alcohol induced hell.

You'll find you enjoy Christmas so much more sober, I was shocked last year at how much more pleasant it was even though my personal life was in tatters. I'm off to watch my colleagues make fools of themselves in the pub today, I'll be wearing the silly Christmas sweater and antlers and eating the food, then driving home sober to enjoy a productive evening

[free at last]

Sober December!

Thanks, Spiderwoman, you have come so far -- those of us in early days/months, appreciate your guiding example.

Warmest,

[skullbabyland]

Sober December!

@Pavati- I agree. Exercise is a crucial component for me, too. It keeps me on track ("I should resist this craving to get drunk so I can workout tomorrow") and it also really lifts my mood to euphoric levels. I would previously never have believed it, but it's very true- a-good-mood.jpg

Also, yep what you described about using my artwork as a reason to retire to myself for a few hours is right on the money. Though I won't use the term "I'm very sorry" because there'd be no reason for me to be It's not rude to state one's intentions, so no apology necessary IMO. It's my own quirk, but I try to be very deliberate to use the "sorry" language only in real, needed apologies and not for social niceties. That's just me though

Thanks for posting that 3 tips to lower anxiety- I'll check that out. Glad you're still here with us, great job staying the course!

@Spidey- Love these thoughts and agree completely. Good on you, for rocking the party sober! As for distractions and rewards, what do you find works well for you?

[NoraC]

Sober December!

Spidey - thanks for that!! You sound wonderful!!!!

[Pavati]

Sober December!

Thanks for stopping by, Spidey.

Skull - I get what you're saying about sorry - that is a good point. I think I over apologize. As I was reminded today, Julia Child always said never apologize for a meal before it is served. Thanks for the reminder.

Free - I don't consider you in the early days! I consider you and Nora "old timers." Not old, mind you, just wise.

End of Day 10 for me - a 15+ hour work day and I am wiped out but feeling strong. Thanks everyone.

[free at last]

Sober December!

Happy to report I am packed, getting ready to check out, then workout, massage, good meal, and head to the airport for the long flights home. So ready to see my DH, dog who doesn't recognize me and to be away from constant exposure to AL. Happy to report another AF day for me and plans to remain so during the holidays.

[skullbabyland]

Sober December!

Free and Pavati- awesome job staying sober, you rock And Pavati, thanks for that Julia Childs link, that made me happy. So true!

[Pavati]

Sober December!

Checking in, end of Day 11. Thanks for your cheers, Skull. You must feel so excited to be home, Free, although your adventures sound exciting. Congratulations on 100 days, Nora!

[Pavati]

Sober December!

Had to rescue this thread from page 2. Checking in again, end of Day 12. Hope everyone is safe, sound and sober. Happy weekend.

[NoraC]

Sober December!

Thanks for bumping this up.

Glad to see we're still hanging in there. :goodjob::goodjob: