One Step at a Time - December 2013

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

good to know Allswell. I think I am getting it too

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Hello everyone. Kradle & Mama - thank you for checking in. Kradle I'm so sorry that I couldn't answer the phone. Had lunch with my sister-in-law, her husband and her in-laws. I had a therapist appointment today which I needed! Just like Mama said, she told me to dust myself off and get back to it. If that includes AA, then I need it. I told her how I pull away from here when I'm in a bad way. :upset:
So - the plan is for me to get back on AB tomorrow. I haven't managed it yet. I am hoping to check in with you tomorrow and be successful. My anxiety levels are way up - so, Mama you made a good point there.
I love you all dearly. This is where I feel safe. So, I have been doing awful but I am going to get better.

And - Dottie must have 120 days now????? I know she is rocking it. :goodjob: I am glad that you have been strong, Dottie. Good for you. Showing me how to do it. :l

[Frequent Traveler]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Hi all.
Ok so during Christmas day my son did not come over, he spent the time at his moms and was kinda pressured into being there as grandparents and uncle kind of put the pressure on him to spend time with the "family". So I was on the loosing end and allowed a bottle of red to cross my lips and I regretted that so much the next day but I allowed my self to feel sorry for myself. He came over yesterday and saw that I was not feeling the best and he felt really bad but not nearly as bad as I felt, and there was quite a part of me that was ashamed. BUT this is a fight we all have to fight and again with this wonderful website and being honest with each other we can do this.
So Monday I am heading to NY for a few days and am looking so much forward to it.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
FT

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Thanks Nora tomorrow is the big 120!!! I still cant even believe it myself...not easy but here I am...

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Oh Dottie - THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you.

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

FT....I am so sorry honey. That would have broken my heart.
I completely understand.
WELL DONE Dottie!!

[Lizann]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Congratulations Dottie, that's fantastic. What's your secret. Seems the holidays were tough on us all. I'm with Nora's therapist. Lets dust ourselves off and carry on. The support is amazing and I feel safe here too. Well off to church I'll check in later.

[Kradle123]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Good morning everyone- meant to check in yesterday and thank you Liz and Mama for such kind words. :l I was in tears reading because I just thought what a complete fake and screw up and looser all these last few months have kept hammering in to me.

I don't know why my head keeps turning in that direction especially when you all prove over and over and over again how deeply you understand what is happening and how you all love and support anyway, in fact probably because of all the problems and insecurities I face.

FT that would been so hard for me as we'll but you have made so much progress here despite the obstacles. The holidays this year....I don't know rain clouds over a lot of us so come snuggle under the umbrella. I think we're all here this year! :l

Dottie I meant to shout out yesterday when I read you 120 accomplishment. TRIPLE digits!! And not only that but feeling great too. Double bonus in my book.

I am still trying to move in that direction. I just got the book Leadership and Self Deception which we are all supposed to read for the Arbinger Therapy sessions my family is starting January 6th. I believe this opportunity is the different approach to sorting out my life that I have to have right now....its exactly what I might need.
I am so completely fricken stuck in my head....:upset:

I am crying almost every day, over nothing ....got a text from Janet this morning full of gracious words and words of peace and it made me feel perfectly wretched....I have to do something or I am just...lost...

Sorry to sound so dramatic...especially on a Cozy Sunday Sunday morning. I'm going to head over to my Kradle thread in a bit and try to sort some things out. The one thing I believe passionately and why MWO saves so many of us is our sharing the stories...our almost immediate pain...with one another. Even if one is unable to respond to it, just reading what other people are going through is life altering, comforting.
So with that said, hopefully I can share something which helps another person here because feeling like this just sucks....
Pauly, Nora, :l and don't worry Nora about ringing. Lunch sounded wonderful.
Love you all :h

[paulywogg]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Hey all,FT i think this holiday season has been tough for a lot of us,you sound good though,ugh such an irritating day at work yesterday,theres two groups of us up there,the quiet get the job done,be polite and go home girls,and the rowdy,loud,party,cussing girls,i had to work with the latter! they have this older ex-marine lesbian friend of theirs who sometimes comes to "help"sweep hair,do towels etc,well i can sweep my own hair thank you,and i dont need to be told theres a haircut waiting! she waltzes in and changes the radio station turns it full blast like she owns the place,irriating,then when i leave she expects a tip,hell no! when my kids were younger id take one of them to help,and now sometimes one of them brings a young'un to help,ill tip them for sure but not a 50 year old annoying loudie,o.k rant over,aww Kradle why you crying?i dont want you to be sad,congrats on 120 days Dottie,kicken ass i tell you! well hope everyone has a good sunday,luv ya peeps

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Thanks everyone. It has not been easy for sure and I agree that sharing the ups and downs helps us all and I know being about to come here and vent is much preferable to getting in the car and going to the deli for wine...cheaper too...It has been a rough holiday for sure but getting through the first one sets the stage for the next one..staying home new years and maybe I will actually get to see the ball drop instead of being asleep or that is what I called it...
We are ALL doing great and should be proud of ourselves!!

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

"I'm going to head over to my Kradle thread in a bit and try to sort some things out. "
Kradle I cant find your thread..where is it??

[mama bear]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

what's wrong Kradle???
I'll go over and check your thread
heading to Nana and Pop's for dinnner.......I really dread this but it must be done.
Dottie....how was your Dad yesterday??

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

mama he was OK I guess..he keeps mentioning coming to live with us and I just keep telling him that I cant take care of him..he has no clue how much work it would be...it would literally kill me. So I will just keep saying no....If I was rich and could hire folks to care for him maybe but not a one person show...I have no siblings or kids to help..sigh...

[Caper]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Dottie.. I can so relate... My sister made the decision... without consulting me, but instead consulting my SIL, to send my mother - 100 years old - who has spent the last 26 years in a MIL apartment in my sister's house - to a nursing home. This means Mom leaving her cat - all she has at this point - and letting me deliver the news - when I arrived at Mom's apt. yesterday for my Christmas visit... I am still reeling....

[Caper]

One Step at a Time - December 2013

Sorry, I posted before I was finished.... No discussion about alternatives... assuming that she (my sister) has now retired and is leaving for FL that there is no other way to deal with my mom other to warehouse her... and to have her cat put down... I am devastated...