dead dads and dead dogs

[spuddleduck]

sorry to be self indulgence. i need to get this out. I've had a very strange year. first i lost my job... company closed so.it was quite expected. my dad has been ill for a long time... oxygen at home and stuff and his foot had gangrene.. pretty scary stuff. maggot therapy and i have a pic of his foot the day.he died. then he died. was a crazy night. mum phoned me. got there and dad is cold dead on the floor trying to.get into.bed. then i.got.a.lovely.new job. then my mum.is.losing the plot. have police finding.her.wandering. . then my.lovely black lab dog goes blind and has doggy.dementia... yes its true.. she goes and dies on the kitchen floor oh i.forgot to.mention in July i.got a.wonderful.job.which i.was.hoping.to last... had to walk out in disgust of stuff... and now... well IM BLOODY DETERMINED.TO STOP.FEELING.SORRY.FOR MYSELF. HA WHO.NEEDS AN EXCUSE.TO.DRINK .. WE CAN ALL DO.THAT. but who needs an EXCUSE not to.DRINK. . well my excuse is that I've.had a.crap year .. so now move on. Great excuse.. I've coped with that so move on

[sunshinedaisies]

dead dads and dead dogs

Spuds - are you okay? Worried about you ..... SO much to happen in such a short space of time. Please be careful .... check in okay?

Hugs, sun XXX

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

sunshine. thanks.yes i am ok. i.just needed to get all that out. Im a bugger for keeping stuff in. just needed to.put.it out loud (in my head if you know what i mean). my dads death is something that has been bothering me for a long time about how i would feel when he died. i have a hell of lot of issues with him and have always been worried about how i would feel when he dies. as it happened i did have genuine tears at his funeral... though wether they were for him or others... such as my.mum i don't know.

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

what i do know is that the night (11.50) he died i was very drunk. Mr spud drove me hrough to.my mums.. after a little crazy drunk sleep i woke up on mums sofa... found min the morningy dads whisky .. drank it and ii

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

sorry Im on my phone and can't seem to get alphabet buttons working....so anyway we did dead dad on floor. i didn't go see him in dead dad coffin stuff but my sister.did.. anyway so its curious as a lit if mutter stuff has been related to dead dad. so now i can grow up and not have to worry about my dad being horrid to my.mum. unfortunately my mum is now in a mess . not knowing what to.to do without shouting

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

sorry if anyone reading but i feel.the need to ramble. I HAVE A LOVELY SAYING ON MY MIRROR..INNER PEACE BEGINS THE MOMENT YOU CHOOSE NOT TO ALLOW ANOTHER PERSON OR EVENT CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

also had an odd experience. clearing out dads stuff i found bottles of ORAMORPH . which i.presumed to be some kind of morphine based pain killer. heard of stuff like things so.i tried it. had a.spoonful and another and another.. felt nothing.. next day feel very very ill.. very itchy . just very awful... so now i think it a good idea to research what this morphine does that i.HAVE just drunk to.feelbetter......... needless to say i put it down the loo . no way i can be trusted with stuff like that

[K9Lover]

dead dads and dead dogs

It's good to see you Spuddy, I hope you're ok. You have been through a lot and I'm glad you decided to write about it. You're in my thoughts. Lean on us, we are here for you!
K9

p.s. Hi Sunshine!!!

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

k9 lover.thanks. know you were here with me back in 2010. i got all my lovely af days . my dead dad has opened up the questions

[FlyAway]

dead dads and dead dogs

Hi Spuddle, welcome back. The death of a parent makes you feel the full gamut of emotions, some good and some bad. Feel free to ramble. This is sure to be a time of introspection. I'm sorry that things have been so rough on you this past year. :l

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

i feel i have a lot of this stuff festering inside me. yes i know this is not al


alcoholic related but i i feel it is all coming from the same place inside me.. i don't know. i do know i have

[FlyAway]

dead dads and dead dogs

For me, my alcohol consumption was 100% related to my emotional state. I'm not surprised to hear that you feel you have a lot brewing inside of you. Coming to terms with it and dealing with it is the key to getting sober in my opinion.

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

FlyAway;1594259 wrote: Hi Spuddle, welcome back. The death of a parent makes you feel the full gamut of emotions, some good and some bad. Feel free to ramble. This is sure to be a time of introspection. I'm sorry that things have been so rough on you this past year. :l

thanks. and so put my thoughts. for years i have issues with.my.dad.. violent yet not violent to my mum. violent yet not violent to us children. does that make sense. who knows.. so Im still confused. my mum is denying anything happened.. i have asked. . i don't want to upset mum in confrontation... so do i forgot. how do i forgot being 7 and wa.... L

[Rags]

dead dads and dead dogs

Hello Spud,

What a hell of a time and all the stress you've had with it.
Can someone else look after your mum so you can give yourself some breathing space?

Be gentle to yourself.

Like Sunshine says, keep checking in.




.

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

sorry.okb buttons were a bittt wonky