dead dads and dead dogs

[Rags]

dead dads and dead dogs

Spud, it must be the middle of the night over there.
Can you get a few hours sleep?

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

rags. it come quite shock to me that mum fell apart.. tho for all the agro and they together for 5 o year ... i aam holding it together and Im back here trying my best to hold together. Im taking naltrexonone and being good

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

oh dear. it is a bit late.. thanks. i will go and eat mash potato with cheese x

[Rags]

dead dads and dead dogs

One of my favourite indulgence foods. Put lots of cream and butter in the spuds.

[Rags]

dead dads and dead dogs

Do you have friends/ family you can lean on if you need to let things out?

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

dear rags. i lean on my pillows for support. sister in Greece. have Mr spud. have dog and cats.

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

just made a long and thought out reply and lost it... bugger

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

think i got through today and just about ready for sleep... thank you x

[Alky]

dead dads and dead dogs

Hey Spuddleduck, how weird - I lost my dad and a dog this year too! He was unconscious when he died - the hospital had him on a morphine drip. It's a minor miracle I remember when he passed, as I was absolutely shitfaced drunk. I don't even remember how I was drinking - if I had it hidden in a bag or my briefcase or if I was sneaking out to the car park for a tipple.

The dog thing was traumatic, too. I was visiting my in-laws, and my father-in-law cracked the screen door and she went tearing off across the street after another dog. She was run over by someone (get this) TEXT MESSAGING on their cellphone. Every time I see someone texting and driving, I am overcome with an urge to choke the everliving crap out of them. Anyway, it was awful - like a nightmare unfolding right before your eyes you can't wake up from.

I'm genuinely sorry for your year, though.

[Rags]

dead dads and dead dogs

Peaceful dreams Spud.

[FlyAway]

dead dads and dead dogs

spuddleduck;1594267 wrote: thanks. and so put my thoughts. for years i have issues with.my.dad.. violent yet not violent to my mum. violent yet not violent to us children. does that make sense. who knows.. so Im still confused. my mum is denying anything happened.. i have asked. . i don't want to upset mum in confrontation... so do i forgot. how do i forgot being 7 and wa.... L

I don't think your mom is going to be able to give you any answers. Her reality and your reality are two different things, yet both valid. If your parents had a stormy and potentially abusive relationship, your mom was probably codependent in it and she will not remember the past in the same way you do. You don't need her or anyone to validate your memories. No one will remember things the same way that you do.

My advice to you would be don't try to forget anything. Trying to forget in my opinion is what we do a lot of the time when we are drinking. We are trying to numb a pain or emotion. That's why I said earlier that drinking and our emotions are connected. Try to examine the past while staying grounded in the present and accept what happened. You can't change it, you can only go forward.

It is hard when we lose someone, like you losing your father, where there is so much left unsaid. There was probably so much potential in that relationship that you wished could be true, but never happened. That's how things were with both of my parents. When I examine their upbringings and the pain in their lives it makes it easier for me to understand why they were the way they were and it allows me to open my heart to fond memories even when they both at times did things that I hated. I'm not suggesting that this is true for everyone. I know that there are some truly evil people out there. But don't try to forget Spud. You can't move forward if you try not to feel.

[spuddleduck]

dead dads and dead dogs

just a quick check in.thank you for putting up with my rambling. and the thoughtful insightful replies.. i may be away from here for a bit. had a storm disaster with tree blown down on house..well just the conservatory. still bad enough. pulled phone lines down so only have limited amount internet on my phone.. guess ill add this to my crappy year.. roll on 2014. and no this will not turn me to drink

[K9Lover]

dead dads and dead dogs

Thinking of you Spuds! :l
The year 2014 will be YOUR year, I just know it! So hang in there! :h