I need help

[cke123]

I am at my wits end over here. I drank again yesturday, damn that Cinco de Mayo. I am sitting here writing this and I want to die. I talked to a bunch if people on the phone, and i barely remember any of it. Some not at all. I have myself convinced that I talked to my neighbors while I was wasted, although there is no evidence of that. I feel like shit, and I hate myself this morning. Everyone is going to stop being my friend, this is probably really old to all of them. I dont know what to do, i feel so low and embarassed.

[WilliamTheFree]

I need help

I'm sure it's not as bad as you think...are you fully into the program?...AF or moderating...taking all the supplements? TOPA or another drug to assist? Just keep plugging away and you will be able to slay this dragon....

[Guest]

I need help

OK, Cke, been there done that so may times. I REALLY know how you feel. Best thing you can do is pull yourself together this morning put your best face on and move forward. Forget about who you called. I know that little record keep's playing in your head you did this you did that" turn it off. Anyone calls back, get as much info as possible and play along. No real friend is going to stop being your friend. Your human and embarassment stings like a hornet. this I know to well also. But,You have to put yesterday behind you look only at this day and what you want to do with it. You never have to feel low or embarassed here with us. We all care.
Smiles an hugs
Mary

[pixie]

I need help

CKE, it will be OK. I know how awful the morning after feels, with the guilt and self-loathing. Take care of yourself today, drink lots of water, go to bed early if you can, and you'll feel better tomorrow, physically and emotionally. Don't beat yourself up, it doesn't help - I know it's hard, but try to think about where you want to be, and what you might need to change to accomplish that. Take care.

pixie

[cke123]

I need help

What if i said something really rotten to the neighbors and they vote to get me evicted? Ugh.....

I was trying to do mods, but didnt work. I have all the supplements...I just am not dilligent about quitting I guess. How many times do I have to go through this til I learn? I envy all of you that have days under your belt. Im seriously considering rehab or something.

[Otie]

I need help

Hi cke,

Me, too, been there so many times. I did drink too much yesterday, too. And I am scared how do I get through this day 1 now.

You already have got some advice, I have none more, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Your mind is playing tricks, how the booze messes the head with all the worries that really are not any issues at all when thinking with clear head.

Hang on here. This phase will pass.

O

[Guest]

I need help

Oh no darling! I'm sure you didn't say anything to get yourself evicted. if push comes to shove and you did say something inapproiate
Simply say it was Cico de Mayo and I'm afraid
I had to much celebration. will you please excuse my behavior? Nothing more. You do not seem the type that would insult your neighbors stop worrying, you just upset yourself further.
hugs
mar

[Paddy]

I need help

Yup, I second that. Wait for your head to clear up a bit. But you may consider Topa to keep you going at least. Supps may not be enough, because they are, well, just supps.

[samadhi]

I need help

cke - This is just a thought because I have been wondering about this lately - Do you do the hypnosis? Perhaps if you tried the hyposis right now, while you feel your lowest and can really feel it. Give yourself suggestions on remembering the low feeling everytime you want to reach for a drink. It seems like for me, at least, I feel embarassed, stupid, sick , etc for a half a day, maybe a full day, if I've been really bad. If I could just go back to the shameful, sick feeling with the same intensity - it may prevent me from doing it again - Maybe you could try right now.

[julie001]

I need help

Hi. Sorry your feeling so badly today. I also can relate. Had a bad night last week as far as drinking and filled with regret and shame the next day. Like you I logged on here for support. There is no magic cure when it comes to our need to abuse alcohol and ourselves, but knowing that you want to change is the first step. The feelings that you have today will pass and tomorrow you will start to feel better, stronger. Just try to envision those mornings when you wake up after an AF night. You won't have any of these awful feelings. That is part of what keeps me going. Like you, I hate feeling the embarrassment, guilt, and self-loathing. You can do this. Try to look at last night as another lesson learned as to why you want your life to be different. Think about making baby steps if a life time of never drinking seems had to imagine right now. Last month I had 17 AF days. This month I want to have more than that--even if its just one more day AF than last month, that is an improvement. One day at a time...Today can be 1 day AF for you. Try to string a few together. And every morning when you wake up let your self-talk be about how proud you are for another AF day. When you slip, because you may, forgive yourself, and start over the next day. Again think positive thoughts about another day AF. Everyone here is fighting this battle, some are more successful than others, but everyone understands what you are feeling today. Take care of yourself today. Do everything that you can to turn off the negative, regretful thoughts and think of today as another chance to change your life so that drinking doesn't contol who you are and how you feel. Feel better.

Julie

[Arial]

I need help

"Supposing you have tried and 'failed' again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." (Mary Pickford 1893-1979)

Be kind to yourself, recover physically and renew your determination. I know it's not easy letting the embarrassment go - believe me I still carry a very similar situation with me from about 7 years ago - and I use it now as amunition - a sickning reminder of why I can't drink, or more importantly, why I don't want to drink. So I agree with Samadhi -maybe try to use this experience, take whatever lessons you can from it, whatever feelings you can keep that will give you strength later on - and you'll see it not as a step back or a failing, but as just one part of the whole journey to recovery.

Be strong and get well - we're here when you need us...:h