why?!!!

[dove]

Why can I not get through some days without drinking?!!! What is so wrong with me that some days all I want to do is get drunk? What is so wrong with me that I can't just say no?!! I want to cry right now for how drunk I got last night. I feel so guilty. How do you all do it? What do you do when you get that overwhelming urge for a drink? It is so easy to get - just stop at any store or bar and there you go. I've been told all the usual stuff - keep busy, take a deep breath, yadda, yadda, yadda. I just do that stuff and then keep heading to the drink. I wish there was someone to call to talk me out of drinking. I am too scared to go to AA. I'm lost. Inside I feel like I have the strength to stop and then a bad day (or good day) (or any day) gets to me and the alcohol takes over. I'm sorry if I am wasting your time. I've been posting on here off and on for months now and nothing is keeping me from drinking.

[lushy]

why?!!!

Dove, you are not wasting anyone's time. The pull of our brain screaming for alcohol is a very strong one and it takes steps, new habits, a new way of thinking to tell that voice in our heads to shut up. I know what you are talking about. Some days it is not big deal to not drink and other days it is all you can think about. Have you tried the hypno CDs? Do you take the kudzu and l-glut when you are having a strong craving? They might help give you the ammo you need to talk yourself out a drinking. I am FAR from perfect but I have found that when I am really craving if I eat something it helps too. I wish I had something more profound to offer but you are not alone in how you are feeling right now.

[Guest]

why?!!!

Dove, I have said this before, but I set so many sobriety dates for myself it was laughable. I would get up feeling guilty about the night before swear this was the the day I would stop, Just to fail by evenings end. Then I found the MWo program. It is a slow process. Take your supps. L-Glut is a wonder for me. Do you have a friend to call when you want to drink? If not posting and chatting as Janie said will help. It really is the best thing to know that your not alone. look around this website you'll see you have a lot of company. we are all friends who want to help each other.
Hugs
mar

[hereatlast]

why?!!!

dove i must have lurked for maybe 10 months thinking how do they do it, for me it took a wake up call (the death of my sister in law) and i knew it was now or never, some days are so hard you are right alcohol is so easy to get and most people are able to moderate,but not me today for instance i was cooking sunday lunch and i was desperate for a drink because that is what i do when i cook i managed to survive by putting time into 15 minute chunks and i got through it. you are certainly not wasting anyones time, would it help coming on here when you want a drink that is what i did in the beginning i know i havent got this thing beat but each day is a miracle when i am not drinking AA would not be for me, i am an adult and if i make a mistake i want to be able to share without being patronised and that is what is so good about everyone on here we are all in the same boat i have never found people who understand the feelings we get before i came here. whatever you decide we are here for you dove.
hugs

[kali]

why?!!!

Dove,

Everything you wrote today is exactly how I am feeling.. I can't seem to get a hold of my drinking either... Don't feel alone, we just have to keep trying!!!

[AAthlete]

why?!!!

Dove, one thing that stuck out to me in your post was that you were scared (to try AA). I intend this not an advocacy of AA, but more of course of action that worked for me.

I finally reached the point in my life where I decided I would do ANYTHING to stop drinking - nothing was off the table. It really seems to be the mindset more than anything that helped me. I was no longer scared to try anything, including AA, telling my family that I had a problem, etc.

I wish you nothing but the best, and hope that you continue to post and read on this site. I truly believe that if you stick with something long enough, eventually it will stick.

[Guest]

why?!!!

Dove bury...I mean bury yourself in this site...that is what I did....I am 23 days AF today and I would have NEVER thought it when I came here. When the urge hits, get on here instead and take the supps. This is site is even better than AA...your don't even have to drive to it...it is literally at your finger tips.

[Arial]

why?!!!

Hi Dove,

Don't despair, and don't give up - the perception of 'how do you all do it?' is a wonderful one as it suggests we've got it sorted - unfortunately not! - we're fighting the same battle, are in the same place, face the same challenges - so don't ever feel alone in how you're feeling. This is a shared battle and it seems to me that no-one's got this perfected yet - even long-term abstainers seem to have the same dilemnas (though maybe not on a daily basis!).

I think trying everything is a great idea - we all seem to respond differently to different things and it's a case of finding what works for you - something, sometime will kick in and you'll get to where you want to be - keep confident, determined, focused, clear goals and get agressive! It's a fight - arm yourself, take it personally - this demon is out to get you ! (sorry, I like visuals so I personified it and it gave me something more tangible to fight!)

The one thing that I do keep coming back to that I found helped me (and again, this is only personal) is looking beyond the alcohol. I found that when the focus was on not being able to drink, not wanting to drink, it was all negative and the focus was on the alcohol. When I changed it to what I did want - looked beyond the alcohol and decided what it was I did want to achieve instead of drink, psychologically I found it put me in the driving seat again - it took alcohol out of the equation. I find it still helps now when the temptation's strong... Keep posting, talking, reading, sharing - this is a great place to be however you're feeling - and as Luv says, we're here at your fingertips 24/7!

So hang in there - tomorrow's a new day so get the gloves on and come out fighting!

[Newyear]

why?!!!

Hi Dove- lots of good advice here already. Just wanted to say keep going. Keep trying and working on this because you are worth the time and the effort. It takes time to change how you think about alcohol. Instead of craving and feeling like you are missing out - crave and think "oh, no, not this time. I WILL feel good in the morning. I refuse to give into that craving! No thank you." Lots of inner dialogue on the positive side helps too.
You are certainly not alone in this....hope you feel better about things.
Lisa

[Beaches]

why?!!!

No Dove you are not alone. I do like Arial's idea of thinking of the positive and what we want to do instead of what we can't do and shouldn't do (which would be drinking). It seems that psychologically we would respond much better to that. It's like there's a little kid in our head that's fighting to say "I can do whatever I want so don't tell me no". Any tools that you can use that will help you are so worth it.
I agree with everyone above, that you can keep coming here. This place is open 24/7 there is always someone here.
Take Care

[landsharkman]

why?!!!

Dove, I've now made it 32 days AF, but not without the same stuff you're going through. I am just focusing on one day at a time. My mantra has been "I'm not going to drink today". Do not think about tomorrow, or the day after, focus on today. It has been the hardest thing to do in my life, but with this, I've made it this far. If I can do it, You can too!!!

And as others have advised, spend a lot of time on this site reading, posting and on chat.

You are far from being alone, everyone here is fighting for themselves and for each other. Just knowing their support is here and reachable is a tremendous lifeline.