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[momofthree]

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[NoraC]

Searching for some support

Hey Mom....
You have come to the right place. There is so much support here because we all understand. :l
There are many great tools here. I suggest being sure to read & post and read & post and read & post. It really helps to get thru those cravings.

I'll try to find the link for the Tool Box. It has great information there.

There are also some threads that you might want to check out/join. There is The Newbies Nest and I also post on One Step at a Time.

Great to meet you. You can do this. Just hang on tight here. Don't hesitate to ask for help. We are here for you.:h

[K9Lover]

Searching for some support

Welcome Mom!

You have found a great place! We've all been where you are at. Drinking for me stopped being fun a LONG time ago. It used to make me relax, then suddenly it became the reason for my anxiety. I completely understand where you are coming from. Alcohol changed me into a monster, I did not like the person I became. I couldn't believe the things I'd do while drunk. The good news is, you can stop and never have to feel this way again. Stick close to us, we can help you. Keep reading and posting. I'm glad you're here!!

K9

[NoraC]

Searching for some support

Here are some links that you might want to check out:

Tool Box

Newbies Nest

One Step at a Time

[momofthree]

Searching for some support

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[mama bear]

Searching for some support

I fought the same battle Mom and finally had the strength to stop (most of time) with the support of my friends here and the DUI I finally got.
We are here for you and we understand

[NoraC]

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I understand completely. I would wake up and promise myself never again. By that afternoon/evening, I would start wavering and there I was again.

You are not a bad person. You are a person with a problem with alcohol. :l

Just be kind to yourself. Drink lots of water. Eat if you can. Be sure to 'urge surf' here before you pick up a drink. Sometimes I spend hours on here. Whatever I need to do to keep from picking up that drink.

[allswell]

Searching for some support

Hi Momofthree,

I can only speak for myself but I kept going back to alcohol because the only thing driving me to quit was how horrible I was feeling that day. When I started feeling better I went back to that horrible cycle. I think the toolbox is a great resource, for me I needed to change everything about my life to make it stick. My diet, exercise, the people I spent time with, trying new much more fulfilling activities. It's a work in progress but positive change sets up the chances for success so much more than willpower alone that only lasts until the hangover is gone.

[momofthree]

Searching for some support

Thank you as well, how long have you been sober for now? Thankfully I have never gotten a DUI or anything like that, but I don't want it to even get that far and it very well may if I don't do something about it now.

[K9Lover]

Searching for some support

Like Mama says, it really IS a battle, but it's one you CAN win. I thought I'd never get off the damn roller-coaster, but I did...eventually. Never quit trying to quit! The first step is to make a plan for your normal drinking time. Stay busy, break out of your routine. Do whatever it takes NOT to drink the first few days. It does get easier, I promise.

[momofthree]

Searching for some support

I find I drink and want to drink more when I'm happy, but then it takes a turn and I'm not so happy anymore. I'll cry, say horrible things to people I never would dream of if I wasn't drinking. I get so upset so easily and I lash out.

[momofthree]

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You would think with three kids I wouldn't have time to do this crap, but it's pretty bad what you can make time for. I seem to always want a drink when I'm cooking dinner. I suppose I'll have to white knuckle it through till the urge passes.

[NoSugar]

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momofthree;1597548 wrote: Thank you both so much, I am just so tired of everything to do with drinking and I can't understand why I just keep going back to it. I promise myself after every bad night that it will be the last, and what do I do? I drink again. Are my promises to myself that worthless when I know how bad this is for me? Do I not respect myself enough? I love my husband and my kids so much, they are everything important to me. Why do I do this to them as well?

Hi, MomOfThree

Welcome .

We have all asked ourselves these questions (just keep reading and you'll see that you are not at all alone!!) and beaten ourselves up just as you are doing.

The answer is you do it because you're addicted to alcohol. The regretful you in the morning is your "reasoning" brain that can make good decisions. But because of the addiction, the part of your brain calling the shots later in the day is the more primitive, pleasure-seeker part. And in that war, the pleasure seeker almost always wins UNLESS the morning, executive brain does all the work necessary to get a plan in place that will thwart the primitive brain from getting what it wants.

And that is where MWO comes in. The toolbox is full of ideas for developing a plan of action. Reading and posting here can literally change your brain in ways that will enable you not to give in to the pleasure-seeker (or in my case, "numb-er") part of your brain. If you join the Newbies Nest, you'll be surrounded by people at all stages of this who are eager to offer (and receive) support.

You can learn ways to satisfy the needs of the primitive brain so that it no longer clamors for alcohol. I'm still (very pleasantly!) surprised when I notice that it is well past 4 o'clock and having a drink hasn't even crossed my mind.

Anyway, you've found a great place to get this done.

:welcome::welcome::welcome:

[momofthree]

Searching for some support

Thank you NoSugar, I am definitely beating myself over it. I'm so disappointed in myself that I let this happen to me. I let it get this far, I let it take a hold. I feel like I am letting myself and my family down. Today I feel nothing but guilt and shame, again. My husband hates when I beat myself up over it and I have talked to him about it and he is going to help me as well and be my support and my voice of reasoning. He doesn't drink at all, so that helps not seeing it all the time and I know he wont bring me anymore home now. I just want to feel normal again and not like this.

[K9Lover]

Searching for some support

How about not cooking tonight, since that seems to be a huge trigger for you? I had to change everything when I quit. Since I only drank at home, I rearranged the furniture, moved lamps around...whatever it took to change the look of my drinking "spot". The first few days I had to stay away from home. I went shopping, to the library, to the movies, out to dinner...anything to break the cycle of cracking that first beer at 5:30pm. I do not associate my living room with drinking anymore. It took a while, but it finally happened. You need to retrain your brain, it will take a while, but it will happen.