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    #1

    Seriously??

    As some of you long-timers know, we have a lot of parties around the holiday for the kids. Today is my college age daughters party. Her friends do not drink, btw. I am cooking and getting ready for everything, and in comes my husband with TWO BOXES full of booze! Wine, 2 cases of beer, whiskey, vodka, liquers, rum, mixers....WHAT THE HELL? The guy only drinks a few beers and knows damn well that I don't want all that shit in the house. I am 10 months sober for Christ sakes! I wanted to haul off and punch him in the head. My daughters were as bewildered as I. He said it was for "any parents and friends" who stop by around the holidays. I don't know what to make of it. He is one of the smartest men I know, but he has the common sense of a rock. I told him that lately I have really been struggling (but getting through it - out of sight, out of mind) but this really upset me. Not to the point of drinking, but still! I don't want to drink to prove something to him...for me, and maybe just to spite the asshat to show he can't sabotage me. I don't think he meant it mean spirited, he is just an idiot. He comes from a long line of idiots. Anyway, I told him to put everything downstairs in his bar. Just needed to vent. Hope you are all well and you are always in my thoughts

    Love Waggy
    February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

    When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!
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    #2
    Seriously??

    Ah Waggy- really feel for you:l

    You've done good coming here to vent and if yer hubby can put it away outa yer sight it should help. This is a tough time with a party atmosphere and people calling.

    Stay strong, it's not worth breaking yer 10 month AF stint over:l

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      #3
      Seriously??

      I swear!! Sorry about that. People who aren't one of us JUST DON'T GET IT!!! I mean DAM! Please swat him up side of the head for me!!! Good luck over there....Byrdie
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

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        #4
        Seriously??

        Thats some expensive "just in case"booze he bought,id be more pissed about that waste of cash than anything
        I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

        I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
        Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

        Comment

          #5
          Seriously??

          For ten months you have been you and it's a you he doesn't know and cannot control anymore. Maybe that's a bit severe, perhaps "predict" anymore. He is undermining you, it may be not on a conscious level but it is still true.
          Hiding the booze ? Yeah if that is as good as it is going to get, did he get that much last year?
          If you can (I wont say "if I were you" because I never had the gumption to do it with my saboteurs) sit down with him and a pen and paper and ask him what he liked about you when you were drinking and what he did not, then list what you liked and what you did not. You both have to be really honest and dig, don't settle for the trivia.
          The next lists are what you both like sober and guess what you can offer guests juice, tea, coffee, water, smoothies......it is still hospitality and friendship and if they don't get it, do you need them?
          " I'm not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special, except to dare to think and to dare to go with the truth and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fuller

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            #6
            Seriously??

            Hello Waggy.
            I've admired your work from afar. Hope you don't mind if I proffer some advice?

            I am related to the Australian branch of the idiots (or fidiots). I often wonder how different it might have been with an early programme of neutering, before they got to breed you understand. That's what the RSPCA recommend anyway. However it's too late for that, and I digress.

            I would wrap every one of the offending bottles and gift them to 3rd parties (who you know not to have a drink problem) for Christmas. Perhaps these friends and parents of whom he speaks?

            Then when he comes home to find that his wet bar is now a dry bar he may think twice about dropping 300 big ones on booze next Christmas.

            Also, your Xmas shopping is now done! Yay you!

            Bridge
            If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
            Rejoined life 20/5/19

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              #7
              Seriously??

              piss arse shite. drink is in my sight and yet again I drink.... I can not see it and not drink itl sorry. feeling shite for doing it yet again
              Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
              Keep passing the open windows

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                #8
                Seriously??

                spuddleduck;1599071 wrote: piss arse shite. drink is in my sight and yet again I drink.... I can not see it and not drink itl sorry. feeling shite for doing it yet again
                Did you take the advice & eat the chocolate Spud ?

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                  #9
                  Seriously??

                  I like what Bridget Jones said. Wrap up and give as gifts to those that don't have any drink problems. Although we never really know who those people are...
                  Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                    #10
                    Seriously??

                    I also think that giving that booze away would be a great idea. There is no need for more than 1 -2 bottles for guests that stop by, If he feels alcohol must be served. They could be kept in a locked box. My husband used to keep his wine in a locked cabinet, and I appreciated that.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                      #11
                      Seriously??

                      Thanks everyone. My husband is a classic head-in-the-sand kind of guy. Because I was not a falling down, drink in the day, DUI, miss work, fighter, slur my words kind of drinker, he does not believe I have a problem. I have told him, that even if it is just 3 glasses of wine, every day is TOO MUCH FOR ME! Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes. I was a highly funtioning one. He is a wonderful man, but has the common sense of a rock. I really appreciate all your suggestions. You guys are wonderful.
                      February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                      When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Seriously??

                        any liquor in my house on locked up...period...and I am fine with that
                        I think a good talk may be helpful!
                        Excellent job on 10 months!!
                        I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                        Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                          #13
                          Seriously??

                          I've just wrapped some booze I had left over in the cupboard, it's some special stuff and I don't want it so makes a very nice gift to someone who can handle one or two.
                          I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

                          Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

                          AF date 22/07/13

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