Rockys 100 days made me think of this. To think how happy I was when I hit my first 30 AF days. Thats all I was gonna do at first. But truthfully I didn't feel stable enough. So I thought I had better go to like 45 days or so.
Well then after I hit the 45 day mark, I thought crap....now I have these 45 days and I kinda didn't know what to do with em. Actually it was sorta depressing. Cuz I thought I better just better keep on goin. I didn't want to ruin it. So I did. And then before ya know it I was just goin along. And along some more.
Sometimes it got really hard. Even just recently. But I just kept on hoedy doe-in. Workin on myself. Really doin some inner searching, workin, evaluatin, cryin, healin, readin. Postin here and postin some more. Gettin to know all you folks. Even havin fun. Kinda lots of fun. Learnin how to restructure a lot of things in my life so things weren't centered around drinkin. Learnin new ways to deal with my crap. The crap is sure still there. huggh....GOD knows that! But somehow I'm dealin.
Some really nice things have happened along the way. Like my new love. I sure wouldn't have him if I still had the drink. I wouldn't have a lot of things like my clarity which means so much to me, if I still had the drink.
Anyway....I could go on forever. But I wont. The funny thing is I think you know your an addict when you quit and you are counting the weeks, days....hours and minutes since your last whatever. :H
So I figure I am gonna count a little bit of success that instead - I can do that backwards. Instead of countin up my first 30 days. I am gonna count down my last 30 days of the year. Today I am on 28. I have only 28 more days till my first year of being alcohol free.
Boy thats amazing. I never knew I was gonna do this. But I sure am glad I did.
Happy on me! :goodjob:
(inspite of the rest of the world beating on me :H ) I'm still laughing tho!
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