FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

[spiritwolf333]

Alcohol (Firewater) is no longer my master.

If you had tried to convince me in January of 2013 that I could be alcohol free and content with life by December 2013, I would have classified you as another "snake oil" sales person and kept on my dying way. In my desperation to get sober and not die, I was fortunate enough to do a lot of research and to come across a video of Diane Sawyer and Dr. Oliver Ameisen regarding baclofen. This further led me to find this forum site and to receive some life saving guidance.

I have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body and now, for the first time in my life, I look forward to each and every day, regardless of current circumstances. Maybe this is the gift alcohol was trying to give me all along?

For the most part, I stayed in the medication section of this forum. For many months following my formal quit day and start of baclofen, it was very difficult to even make posts to one area on this site, let alone try and figure out what a forum even was. Since those early months, I seem to at least be able to understand that MWO provides a real and positive place for addicts of all types to gather and garner support -regardless of methods chosen to achieve sobriety.

This thread is a thread of Gratitude and accountability and I am thankful to be a part of the MWO community.

[sweetpea29]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

:goodjob: Spiritwolf!

I too am thankfull to have found this place and be free of the 'poison' that was killing me in every way

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

sweetpea29;1601547 wrote: :goodjob: Spiritwolf!

I too am thankfull to have found this place and be free of the 'poison' that was killing me in every way

Thank you sweetpea.

[available]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Great post Spirit.

I am grateful for being AF for 22 days and I know that this time I can achieve what I thought was totally impossible and improbable and that is being sober for life.

Without MWO and the people on here I would still be failing in my attempt to give up al. The strength, the support and the overwhelming acceptance has made my journey, likes yours, achievable.

I am eternally grateful for having the strength and courage to achieve something in my life.

[Jazi's Mum]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Yeah, great post. I'm almost on the path...still waiting for a shipment of bac. But as many have said we've been drinking for so long what's a few more weeks? I'm just so grateful that there are so many who have trodden this path before me...not so scary now when I have to start.

Thanks.
JMum

[little beagle]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Spiritwolf I love your avatar. What a sweetheart. Thank you for the inspirational post. It is so wonderful seeing us achieve our alcohol free goals.

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

@available -Awesome news on your 24 days Alcohol Free. You are spot on about the MWO support. Many of them pulled me through some dark days early on. One saying that I always liked and still do to this day (regarding Firewater) is this: "I am not going to drink today. I may choose to drink tomorrow -don't really know, but today, I don't have to drink."

@Jazi -Wow, I hope your baclofen arrives soon and you get the same positive results I did/do. Just remember, it takes some time (usually) to really start working. Most all my side effects departed but it took several months.

@beagle -re: your avatar. I've seen it several times here on mwo and was going to duplicate the glasses on my basset (Flash). However, ego kept me from doing this, so now, I am just going to grab Flash one day when he is NOT asleep and dress him up as a hush puppy shoe -nah, still would not be as cool as yours. Thank you for the post encouragement -and dido on achieving our alcohol free goals.

[j-vo]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Spirit, thanks for starting a gratitude thread. And what a wonderful post. I'm happy for you and that you've received this gift.

I am grateful to this site as well. I came here back in 2008 I think, and have tried every method in the book. I finally have found some peace of mind, strong support and mentors, and a belief in myself. The most important thing I have found is acceptance, which I'm most grateful for. I have accepted who I am, a person who cannot drink. Thank you MWO!

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Thank you j-vo. I believe I have learned that the ability to ACCEPT is one of the most valuable assets a human can hold. I still have to work daily with this truism and try to practice acceptance. I'm glad I see that word mentioned every time I read it.

[little beagle]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Spiritwolf have a wonderful Chtistmas. You too Flash.

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Right on LBeagle. I hope you, lb, and family do the same.

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

I'm just grateful to write a post -sober- after the holidays and be in a state of mind where I look forward to what the new year might bring -positive or negative. Years past, I could never had said this -at least honestly.

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

This time of year was always more difficult than other times. You know, looking back, all times of the year were difficult when drinking, but the start of a new year always seemed worse. My thought process back then was how am I going to make it this year trying to hide my demon and keep it looking as if "I am ok". I always knew the walls were caving in but I thought I could keep the naysayers at bay. Finally, at the beginning of 2013, the walls did come crashing in and I could no longer move. What a relief. My "act" was over and it was time to fish or cut bait. Life with firewater had to somehow be a part of what I saw in my rearview mirror.

I dedicated myself to researching all the various ways to become sober. God only knows and I can't describe the many paths that I had tried previously to rid myself of this self-inflicted demon -Firewater. I happened upon research regarding baclofen and everyday since, my life has changed and my "once lost freedom" has been restored.

With all of this said, this time of year is still remains challenging. But no where even close to as challenging as it was pre-baclofen. I wake each day with excitement and look forward to what may come -what new I may experience. This happens even though I lost my business and many other "things" -but NOT my family. No, today, I look at what my future may look like a few years down the road. What can I change today that might make a positive difference for me and others down the road. I guess even after the alcohol was removed, my mind still looks for things to worry over. But this time, it does have to alcohol to sit back and calmly reflect. Just a rambling thought.

[Jazi's Mum]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

ramble away...all good stuff
JMum

[spiritwolf333]

FIREWATER -N- MY Rearview Mirror -A Journal

Thanks Jazz -It sure helps to ramble sometimes. Some days it just feels best to sit back and listen. The difficult part for me is knowing when to listen and knowing when to talk. Guess its all a learning process.