Habit or Addiction?

[Senin]

I don't drink during the day. I don't drink when I go out. I only drink at night when my responsibilities are done.

I have often stopped to think, why I am drinking? My reply, what else would I do? I stopped to analyze it. I tried to do other things. I suppose if I had something better to do, I might do that.

So my question is, how do you know if it is just a stupid habit or a real addiction?

For the past few decades, I have drank beer before bedtime. I am thinking that my problem is.... what better thing can I do instead?

Is it just a stupid habit?

[Marioisback]

Habit or Addiction?

Is it not a habit that for a lot of people becomes an addiction ? and a bad one at that, and like most bad habits they can be easily learned but very hard to change and got rid of.I also suppose that if one is logged on here and seeking answers they have gone past the habit v addiction stage,just for the record I to never drank till evenings always had my work done and dusted before rewarding myself with a few beers, If only I knew then what I know now about myself...

[DipGal]

Habit or Addiction?

Hi Senin.. great question and one that I ask myself all the time. For you it sounds like a habit.. A few beers before bed and it doesn't take over your life. I doubt you can be physically addicted to having 3 beers before bed unless you are a very small person (but I don't know).

I totally understand the "what would I DO" comment. I also look at it as entertainment - something fun. I do it in conjunction with other things which in my brain makes those things more fun (playing poker on the internet, posting/reading on forums and social media). For you, couldn't you just read a good book or watch a movie with a non-alcoholic drink of choice? I settle in with Netflix on my Kindle (while DH is watching sports on TV) and drift off to sleep after that.

I drink much more than you but am working on my plan to stop.. For me I believe it's a touch of addiction, but mostly a bad habit that I have used for many years to keep me company and comfort me. I did not believe I craved AL physically, only mentally. I've been meaning to journal this, so I hope you'll let me kind of blurt it all out on your thread..

In my teens in the 1970's I was introduced to cheap wine and I drank to excess with friends - often passing out. I did not drink at home but my parents were aware and of course were devastated. I was adopted and my adoptive mother warned me that my biological father was an alcoholic and had died falling down the stairs of a bowling alley while drunk. I didn't know it at the time, but after she died found out that she DID know about my biological family. I am not sure if her story was true or if she was trying to scare me. If it was true, then I might have the addiction gene... hmmm, I also abuse food and like to gamble. I guess she may have been telling the truth.

In my 20's I was Disco Queen (late 70's and early 80's), taking advantage of "Ladies Night". I drank black russians, often blacked out.. fell on the dance floor continuously.. and even lost my shoes and ended up in places with men I did not know. I only drank while out, never at home with DH #1 or before that when I lived with my parents. My friends who knew me well were worried about me..

In my 30's and 40's (mid 80's through early 00's) I drank daily, sometimes at lunch, and always in the evening with DH. I drank to excess often. This was the height of my career and I did not ever call in sick because of AL. I was probably close to being a functional alcoholic but not physically addicted. AL made everything more fun. It was my daily habit that I looked forward to.. The stresses of my career, a sick mother, and loneliness required a daily escape.

In my 50's (mid 00's to now - I am 57) - I had an abrupt ending to my career 7 years ago which shattered my self-esteem, adding to the other triggers above. I've dabbled with some at-home businesses.. some more successful than others.. but none lead to any gratification or helped my self-worth. I gained over 50 lbs on my already obese body from indulging in food and booze just because I needed to entertain and comfort myself with something.

I now drink daily and excessively.. I don't often get really drunk because of my very high resistance to AL due to my weight and many years of excessive drinking. But, when I do I am pretty restless and dehydrated during the night, but rarely much of a hangover the next day.

So, back to the original question.. I thought it was mostly a habit for me because I've been doing it for so long. But, after writing this all out I think it's more of an addiction than I realized. WOW - I guess really needed to write this out! Thank you for posing the question!

I plan to turn this around starting this Thursday with 30 - 60 days AF.. and an attempt at moderating with a strict plan. I have some of the supplements and will try that before deciding if I need to take any of the Rx drugs.

Thanks again for letting me get this out.

[Sunbeam]

Habit or Addiction?

This question has been posted here in many forms: am I a problem drinker or an alcoholic? Am I a functional drinker or something worse? Asking questions like this can be part of your healing process, as long as you continue to move forward toward fixing your problem.

[satz123]

Habit or Addiction?

Hi Dip girl
Thanks for sharing - your story is not unlike my own.
Really bad habit of drinking every evening after work. Thought I would never survive or even want survive a day without my 'friend'.
We are same age etc ....... I've been posting here for 2 years now-and it has helped enormously to see that there is life without alcohol.
Took from January to July for the penny to drop and have first AF evening.
Go gently on yourself - you don't have to do everything at once you know - when you know that it makes the whole thing easier.
I found the gradual approach worked for me .... baby steps...

[mama bear]

Habit or Addiction?

to me the real test is simple...can you go thirty days with AL??
Will you obsess and agonize over it, or will you not even think about it??

[Jazi's Mum]

Habit or Addiction?

Great topic!! I've read that in order to get rid of a bad habit one needs to substitute a good habit in its place. Just to leave an empty space is asking for trouble. And 21 days of the new habit can set it properly as a habit.

So I guess the 30 days AF challenge, with making sure to have other good things to do at drinking time, would be more than enough to set a new habit. Then, of course, all the other junk in our lives would have to be cleared up too - depression, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, etc.

I was sober for about 5 years before I 'fell' again. So working on all the other stuff in our lives must be done - otherwise, as has been said many times here, the addiction/habit is just waiting for you to turn your back to jump up again.

Addiction: doing something that you know is against your best interest, rinse and repeat. (always bad)

Habit: an action that repeated often enough can be done without thinking. (can be good or bad)

Is that the difference?

[Byrdlady]

Habit or Addiction?

Mama, you took the words right out of my mouth. Take the 30 day challenge...if you sail thru it, you are prolly one of the lucky ones...if every day drags by and you don't know how you are going to cope without your BFF, Alcohol..... you cave in, start over, cave in, start over....then pull up a chair, you might be 'one of us'. It's not a bad thing...in fact, I think being in denial is worse than trying to do something about it. Getting AL out of my life was the single best thing I've done in my adult life. If you don't have a problem, you might consider getting AL out anyway, because that's where it leads...this is a progressive disease. The last 3 years I've had AF have been THE BEST of the last 30. Give it a try, you don't have anything to lose...except, perhaps, a bad habit! Byrdie

[spuddleduck]

Habit or Addiction?

yep I agree with others here that if you find you cant stop it could well be an addiction. having said that there are so many social pressures to drink alcohol that its more than just a black and white issue

[DipGal]

Habit or Addiction?

I am SO looking forward (but very afraid) to starting my "30" on Thursday. Because I can't or won't start today (sort of a holiday) or tomorrow (a holiday) tells me something, doesn't it? We'll see.. Up until then I am spending tons of time scouring the literature and reading sad stories as well as lining up my supplements and dosages. I ordered them from MWO a couple of years ago, but never opened them. This IS the time!

[j-vo]

Habit or Addiction?

Senin,
What Byrdie and Mama said! That's the best way to find out.

DipGal, thanks for sharing your story! And I can really relate to your story. My issues may have different roots, but the result is the same. Al habit or addiction? Yes, the 30 day challenge is a good indication. When I came here five years ago, I had the same questions that you do. Keep reading as much as you can. You're on your way to a better life already.

[Senin]

Habit or Addiction?

Thanks for the great responses.

A few corrections though. For me, it isn't just 3 or 4 beers, it is more like 8-10 in the evening (sometimes less). And I do skip occasional days.

I have done the 30 days before. A few January's. I like to start the year fresh. I go the month, but I do think about it! And I think OMG I can't wait until February! Last year, I thought to myself, I should pick February to abstain-- it has only 28 days.

I am starting at midnight. I am not calling it quitting, but drastically cutting back. My plan is to used the Amino Acids and Vitamins. Work out regularly. Do Faster EFT, which seems to have great results. And specifically plan out my evenings-- my danger zone.

Thanks.

[Kradle123]

Habit or Addiction?

Habit or addiction has never been a very relevant question for me I'm afraid. It's entirely how AL has affected my life which in my case has been profoundly negative. I suspect that's true for most of us but seeing that in all it's glory so to speak is, of course, different for everyone.

DipGal, thank you so much for posting. Your story is also similar to mine and I'm looking forward to being with you oo this journey . :l

Hugs and happy new year.

[little beagle]

Habit or Addiction?

Kradle I agree. Anything that has that much negative impact on my life is not a good thing.