I wanted to check in and say hi to everyone. I am on my 5th and hopefully last bought of soberness.. its a long and windy road and I am only at the beginning. I quit Al back in the beginning of September.. I had a year full of booze filled days and nights, trip to Jamaica for a family wedding trip to florida for Christmas, camping, all of which I spent drunk. my teenager started driving but refused to take me to the liquor store no matter how much he wanted to drive. I will share one of the worst mornings this past year..
My 11 year old, named B, has a friend with a little brother. their parents are newly separated. the mom started a new job at target. she asked me if she could drop the 2 boys off at my house one morning last winter so she could get to her training for 9a. Of course I said, I am here to help. this was about 2 weeks before. One morning after I had drank all night, woke up at 3am and drank more only to pass out in bed around 5am. I (as usual decided B could be late for school that morning so I could stay in bed drunk) I heard the door bell at 800a.. and thought "who the F is at the door?" I ignored it.. it kept ringing.. I thought "go the F away" still knock knock ring ring.. FINALLY I stagger out of my bedroom put on a housecoat and open the door to see 2 little boys standing there . I tell them Bennett is still in bed.. they try to come in.. I push them out and say "no you have to leave" and close the door and go back to bed.
YUP that's right.. I did that.. I got Bennett up and ready for school.. tell him about his annoying friend at the door.. (I am sure I stunk of booze).. and sent him off to school. it was about lunch time I realized what I had done.. OMG I was horrified.. i apologised to the mom.. i bought her a card and begged forgiveness.. she said it was fine and not to worry about it... BUT to this day her son has not come over to play at our house..
That was my worst story from the past year but i have many others of ruining vacations.. being stupid bitchy drunk.. falling down the stairs in front of everyone and wrecking our wall... stealing booze from our neighbors cottage because it was sunday and i knew everything was closed... being a general Asshole.. I work form home and i was drinking every day during work..
so in September i stopped... took my antabuse and stopped... don't even remember the date.. I was just DONE DONE DONE... i stopped taking the antabuse about 2 weeks in.. and haven't needed them since..
i have been on work trips with unlimited AL and had none.. i made it thru thanksgiving and had none while the whole family got snapped... i also made it through Christmas and new years.. not a drop.
I was watching a segment on you tube with Mathew perry. he said he uses his will power to NOT have that first drink. because if he does all bets are off.. he cant stop till everything is consumed. i am that way also. I am one sip away from binging again.
I am surprised i am still alive, have not been pulled over, not had a serious injury, still have some friends (not many but some).. i am still fairly healthy.. and my family still speaks to me.
like i said my road is long and windy and i am sure it has many many bumps and potholes.. but i feel determined this time . I have along way to go, it a journey that will last forever..
i will keep coming here and offering support, I believe in this site and it has helped me tremendously..
caper
My 11 year old, named B, has a friend with a little brother. their parents are newly separated. the mom started a new job at target. she asked me if she could drop the 2 boys off at my house one morning last winter so she could get to her training for 9a. Of course I said, I am here to help. this was about 2 weeks before. One morning after I had drank all night, woke up at 3am and drank more only to pass out in bed around 5am. I (as usual decided B could be late for school that morning so I could stay in bed drunk) I heard the door bell at 800a.. and thought "who the F is at the door?" I ignored it.. it kept ringing.. I thought "go the F away" still knock knock ring ring.. FINALLY I stagger out of my bedroom put on a housecoat and open the door to see 2 little boys standing there . I tell them Bennett is still in bed.. they try to come in.. I push them out and say "no you have to leave" and close the door and go back to bed.
YUP that's right.. I did that.. I got Bennett up and ready for school.. tell him about his annoying friend at the door.. (I am sure I stunk of booze).. and sent him off to school. it was about lunch time I realized what I had done.. OMG I was horrified.. i apologised to the mom.. i bought her a card and begged forgiveness.. she said it was fine and not to worry about it... BUT to this day her son has not come over to play at our house..
That was my worst story from the past year but i have many others of ruining vacations.. being stupid bitchy drunk.. falling down the stairs in front of everyone and wrecking our wall... stealing booze from our neighbors cottage because it was sunday and i knew everything was closed... being a general Asshole.. I work form home and i was drinking every day during work..
so in September i stopped... took my antabuse and stopped... don't even remember the date.. I was just DONE DONE DONE... i stopped taking the antabuse about 2 weeks in.. and haven't needed them since..
i have been on work trips with unlimited AL and had none.. i made it thru thanksgiving and had none while the whole family got snapped... i also made it through Christmas and new years.. not a drop.
I was watching a segment on you tube with Mathew perry. he said he uses his will power to NOT have that first drink. because if he does all bets are off.. he cant stop till everything is consumed. i am that way also. I am one sip away from binging again.
I am surprised i am still alive, have not been pulled over, not had a serious injury, still have some friends (not many but some).. i am still fairly healthy.. and my family still speaks to me.
like i said my road is long and windy and i am sure it has many many bumps and potholes.. but i feel determined this time . I have along way to go, it a journey that will last forever..
i will keep coming here and offering support, I believe in this site and it has helped me tremendously..
caper
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