I give up

[Camelia]

I give up

Elizabeth... I identify with YOU! I am smarter than all my friends and associates together when drunk AND sober (and that includes my German business partners on whom I am somewhat dependent!). However, I find it hard to believe that I am worth anything most of the time...... until now.... slowly constructing my own 2007 model of Camelia. I also know from experience that ethnic differences can confer advantage rather than disadvantage. This is not universal but..... as an Irish woman working in the Uk (including when Irish were not accepted because of terrorism etc) I know that I have turned my ethnicity to my advantage here. Look at THE GOOD THINGs you can bring to your situation/community .... focus on those.... ! Get the hypnotherapy CDs... they are awsome.... they will help you... believe me I say this as a bonefide neuroscientist. This IS they way to go BUT you must put in the commitment to listen to the CDs and prioritise YOUR good self for the next 60-90 days.



much much love...

[Elizabeth]

I give up

Camelia - ethic differences? There're aint any... never have been. Christ, I've given the wrong impression here if thats what u all think. I'm a white Kenyan, spoke Swahili b4 I spoke English, still dream in Swahili and never had nor will ever have a hang up in that direction. Africa is my home and my heart. As simple as that.

I'm a child at heart and always will be, just need to walk away and not be used anymore. Thanks for your support, I appreciate it. XXXXXXX

[Elizabeth]

I give up

Beaches... u r right about what u say...EXCEPT I have always been true to myself and others. Thats what pisses people off.

[Elizabeth]

I give up

Simey u r magic.

[Mags]

I give up

You're right - you have always been true to yourself. I can tell that just by knowing you here. And you are still being true to yourself - by being honest with us - by being pissed off - by being strong and stubborn. But quitting is just not you. Do whatever you need to do, but please just keep telling us what's going on - even if you think it's something we don't want to hear. We do love you.

[Elizabeth]

I give up

I remember once when I typed here all night here. I was so up tight becos my mother by birth was dying of cancer. A kind person told me to 'spill the beans,' but if I was to do that I'd need pages and pages......and its just not my style. I am a lot luckier than a lot of you, but only because I made a decision a long time ago. At 21 I cut the corner's off my British passport in order to remain Kenyan. Simple you would think, but my farther who is very well off told me that he would cut off. I said, 'go ahead,' and progressed (through hard times...and u don't want 2 b penniless in East Africa what ever age u r...believe me!!!!!Anyway I've made it... have'nt got the security that most of u have. Refused to marry or have kids because it scared the hell out of me. Dad is doing the best.....married 3 times. My mother by birth was only 17 (and I was the 2nd born), took drugs to abort....and...and..and. But I am very proud becos I was born (with lots of weird extras) but ended up being the most bully, indepedant person going. I was also born with a heart that genuinely cares about people - BUT THAT HERE MEANS HAVING A STAMP ON YOUR FOREHEAD SAYING "HELLO....I'M A SUCKER."

I don't know why I am writng this. I know that most of u will think the worse of me. My Dad, who once emotionally black mailed me now thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread! Rings me every time he has a problem. We talk...and I love it becos I love him.

But, like tonight, and the uncessary upset I had after completing something that 'everyone thought was great,' yet the closest wanted to stab me in the back for....... - all I have to say is that the world can go to hell.

Forgive me

[Elizabeth]

I give up

Mags..thanks

[Elizabeth]

I give up

God forgive me But I have got to get out of here. Wish I was drunk and the pen was flowing. Don't worry I won't do anything stupid.... but my lovely office will have to go. Have to leave. Will periodlly check on MWO... after all I ama member!

[Elizabeth]

I give up

Funny, below is my horescope 4 today! So... who gives a dam. Got my African Wildcat going beserk, sticking to me like glue. What the hell do I do with her (my soul mate) when I leave?..

Today you might actually appreciate having a few restrictions put on you. Choice can be overwhelming. Now is not a good time to be adventurous. It's not that you should forget about your most ambitious ideas -- you should always have some big dreams in your back pocket! But today you should embrace the limits placed on you. If you play by the rules, you'll go much farther.


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[Mags]

I give up

I've always wondered - what exactly is an African wild cat? What does it look like? What do you feed it?
(Sorry - it's just the biologist in me)

[imatree]

I give up

?Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.?

Nelson Mandela

[Guest]

I give up

Elizabeth, you need adventure you also need your creative outlet. If you can have a business from it, all the better. Don't do anything rash. Hunker down the next few days and nurse your dear tender heart. You do have one darling, as I know by the amazing amounts of forgiveness you have extended to your family. You are Kenyan. Keep being the bush baby. Always with attitude. We wouldn't have you any other way.
Lov
Mar

[MDBiker]

I give up

I think you need to get rid of the "partner" you have and get on with your wonderful life. Don't let others take the things you love away from you. I have worked all my life wishing I could find a way to make a living doing something I love to do. You have found your passion, stay with us and develop it. We do care about you.

[toughintexas]

I give up

So true Bear! And congrat's on another day. Chalk me up for one more also! That's 4 total AF's, not much, but, I have been major moderating in betw. so I feel like 6 of the last 7 days have been much, much improved. I took a topa last night, whew, in 5 hrs., my left hand was tingling and it felt like I had a band tightening around my head, but it went away after awhile. The Calm powder has helped the sleeping, and its Sat. am, and I'm up and running, feels great. Thanks to all of you who have help me hang in there this week, this is a great, great group!!!!! Love to all!

[Dog Woman]

I give up

Just checking. How are you Elizbeth? Hope life is a little better. Thought on and off about you since reading your post yesterday.

DW