The Golden Girls

[Jazi's Mum]

This thread is for "Golden Girls" and you know who you are :exclamation: :H

Several members of the MWO forum have expressed a desire for a safe, friendly place to talk about drinking issues specific to older women.

I'm one too - at 68 I've been an alcoholic all my adult life. Anyone else who'd like to stop by once in a while and have a chat, :welcome:

JMum

[HumbleRider]

The Golden Girls

I'd love to join this discussion. I'm 58 and feeling it this morning.

[DipGal]

The Golden Girls

And, this 57 year old golden oldie is ready for some girl talk!

I'll start with a comment/question.. I have been a problem drinker for almost 40 years. I've never really tried to get a grip on it before. 1 1/2 years ago I tried to do a healthy detox program (not just booze detox, but a body cleanse in general) and tried to cut down to try to fit the parameters of that 30 day program. I lasted 4 consecutive weekdays AF, and then maybe got a few more AF days within the 30. I did take it easy on the booze and stuck to 2 glasses of wine when I did drink. I have not tried again since.

I am trying to figure out why I decided that this is the time to change my bad habits. I had a mini-vacation binge over Xmas where I drank 60+ units in 3 days.. but, I have certainly done that many times before. I had some twinges of pain under my right rib cage after that, but I have had that before, too.

I am doing pretty good on my eating plan, too. Has my brain finally realized that it's time to get healthy because - after all, I ain't gettin' any younger!? I want to travel and enjoy the rest of my life! My worst fear, worse than death, is being in a nursing home... alone... (no kids or sibs.. only DH who is older than me and more of a problem drinker than I am)..

So far, being AF has been fairly easy.. I am sure trying to mod will not be.. Can you teach an old dog / golden girl new tricks?

[Jazi's Mum]

The Golden Girls

Hey, OldDog, er, I mean DipGal!! You are at the best time of your life to make some changes in diet, health in general, exercise, learning to tolerate the old man....:H:H

...and all that good stuff.

It's the perfect time NOW because you've decided to get a handle on the booze. So to use the cliche, time for a new broom

In my humble opinion it's twice as hard to give up the booze unless you feel better about your self, and eat correctly for your blood sugar levels, stay fully hydrated, let go of anger etc.

Once you lose some weight (yes, even if it's our old pal water weight) you will feel so energized and confident that you can make changes...that other things will fall into place.

I urge you to investigate a low-carb WOE if you don't already know how healthy and effective it is. If you are able to do it you will feel so much better. I know I'm pushing this on you, but I guarantee you will stabilize blood sugar levels, feel satisfied without over eating, and not crave junk or alcohol as much.

Anyway, enough from me. Let's get some more talk going here - we can all help each other.
JMum

P.S. You call yourself an older gal :H:H Why at 57 you're a mere baby.

[Jazi's Mum]

The Golden Girls

Morning everyone! What a great day to be a woman - when there are jokes like this to read first thing in the morning:

Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive.

No further testing is planned.

I know, I know! Bashing our poor men is kinda mean - but darned if this didn't make me laugh out loud.

I subscribe to The Joke of the Day and get to have a smile or laugh every day.
JMum

[DipGal]

The Golden Girls

haha JM - funny!!

JM - I am very familiar with Low carb eating and my other main forum is Low Carb Friends.. I try to pay attention to sugars and carbs in my 5:2 fast plan .. well, most days. I am sort of keeping it in my back pocket so that when the 5:2 plan stalls, I can be more strict about carbs to get the scale moving again. Another "hot" variation on low carbs is carb cycling. There is a kindle version of Chris Powell's new book on the subject - on sale for $2.99 (I think because the formatting of the lists isn't that great)... I may go that route in a few months, just to keep my body guessing.. Then back to 5:2.

Speaking of mature women - anyone out there play Mah Jongg?? The real game, not the internet solitaire game. I love it - very challenging and good for the brain. And best of all, I do not associate it with booze! Wednesday is my weekly game.. then, tonight I'm having dinner at a friend's house where we'll be talking about attending Ala-non together (her DH has a problem, too) and feasting on salad and roasted chicken. She also is going to run through the game Euchre with me.. Anyone play that?

What do you all do that is fun and is not booze related??

[Jazi's Mum]

The Golden Girls

Fun without booze? You're kidding right?:H:H

I don't play mah jong but I have played lots of Euchre in years past - they were my mostly drunk days. What I do remember (:H) was that it was lots of fun, and waaaaayyyy easier than Bridge.

About the diet thing: I'm sort of thinking, kinda sorta, not even worrying about my weight anymore.

I've just started reading The Heart of Addiction by Lance M. Dodes M.D. One of the first things he talks about is identifying the thoughts/reasons for even thinking about having a drink. He says it's a feeling of 'helplessness' and rage over that loss of control in our own lives, that can get us to reach for the easiest solution: a drink/drug/gambling/sex or whatever our particular poison is.

I'm identifying lots of issues around control and food. And I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and had a good look at my face. I'm really getting gaunt looking. My sister mentioned this to me in the summer when she had not seen me for several years. She's quite over-weight and I put her comment to sour grapes as I've always been slim - however I see that I really do look very, very thin. My 'middle' is thickening but face and upper bod, and legs are very slim.

I'll go into this more in future if anyone is interested in looking at this topic. Bottom line for now is that dieting is one way of 'control' in a life where I feel I have no control...hence the need to drink...and of course other 'control' issues too.
JMum

HEY!! where are the lovely ladies who thought they might be stopping by! DipGal, it might end up just you and me - not that that would be a bad thing..:h

[Bastet]

The Golden Girls

Hi Jaz's mom, I just found this thread and would love to keep it going. I am a 55 year old woman with two grown daughters. They are sick and tired of my drinking but really have no idea what quitting entails. I am on my 4th day and very proud of myself as this is the longest since 2011 when I got 30 and tried to moderate - not a good outcome. I am kind of holding off on telling my girls about my progress until I get a little more time. I haven't even told my husband although I think he suspects.

I know some of you have grown children. Have you found anyway to discuss this with them? They are insisting I go to meetings which I have tried but not enjoyed. It is typical they they always think they know best!

In any case I would like to contribute to this thread. I know it is delicate but how much of night sweats are because of quitting and how much menopause? Also foggy brain and mood swings?

[colomissy]

The Golden Girls

Hello Ladies, I am 61 yrs old, retired but probably wasn't the best idea so soon at 59, since I started drinking my chardonnay while watching Good Morning America in the morning. I actually received a diagnosis of alcoholic fatty liver, blood pressure high, cholesterol high, aching joints, IBS and I know it is all due to my drinking. I can get 8-14 days with no drink but then my emotions drive me to drink for 3-4 days again. I currently am on 4 days AF. I must stop this madness. Good to meet everyone & share our common issues!!

[Jazi's Mum]

The Golden Girls

Hi Ladies and a big :welcome:

Bastet, you could be having all those symptoms from menopause :upset: I struggled on and off HRT for about 10 years but finally decided to stay on forever (I'm 68). Every time I'd read about all the dire warnings of the estrogen I'd come off. But the mood swings, depression, night sweats, crying for no reason, and on and on - it all came back - so back on now and things have settled down.

As for telling family members: I wouldn't say a word!!! And tell your lovely daughters to back off - AA is NOT for everyone and if you don't want to go say so!!

Don't know if I've recommended this book here before but it's just a revelation to me: The Heart of Addiction by Dr. Lance Dodes (sorry I see I did mention it above somewhere). I'm learning what makes me want to drink. That plus the baclofen is keeping me AF. I'm learning to take control of my own life - very different for me but it feels good.

Hi Colomissy!!! Good for you with the AF days. I know how hard it is I retired early too because Husband did at 60, and we moved from a big city to a small town - his home town. There was no way for me to work here, even if I had wanted to - which I didn't. My last job was so stressful I nearly had a breakdown!! I thank God for Husband every day. It's only his loving support that feeds me and keeps a roof over my silly head :H

It's nice to see you here, gals.
JMum

[DipGal]

The Golden Girls

Hi Colomissy and other Golden Gals!

JM, thank you so much for suggesting that book by Dr. Dodes. I downloaded it and in just a few chapters can see parts of myself and why I do what I do.

Colomissy - my DH has IBS and it has basically ruined his life - leading to even more drinking to medicate himself. The doctors say it is like pouring battery acid down his throat. No wonder it hurts his digestive system. He is currently in a depressive state with severe IBS and only gets out of bed to drink and pee. I was going to start going to ala-non today, but we are in the middle of a snow storm. I'll go during the week. Anyway, his situation is a major trigger for me to drink.

Bastet - I had few menopause symptoms.. Some night sweats for a couple of years but that's it. It must be all the healthy living... NOT!

I know that JM is taking Bac... anyone else taking meds of any kind? I'm reviewing the meds threads and honestly, the topamax sounds good for me because I need to lose a serious amount of weight!

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I am stuck in the house in a snow storm with a ton of vodka. Not good... I restart AF on Monday.. I had 14 days AF until Thursday. I am learning and experimenting and trying not to freak about DH..

[Bastet]

The Golden Girls

Hey GG's
It is good to see people keeping this thread going. Welcome Colomissy! It's great that you have 4 days and it sounds like you frequently do more. If you can just string those together you would get a month easy. EASY? I know it is one of the hardest thing to do but it CAN be done. I am trying to convince myself as well. Tomorrow will be one week for me.
DipGal, I started reading your posts in December when I was still lurking. It sounds like things are hard at your house and I am sure you are very concerned about your dh. With all the alcohol around you and someone drinking all day it must be near impossible. However even from your first post I knew that you were strong and determined and I believe that you can do your 30 and then see if moderation is for you.
As far as menopause goes I am still on bc!! Crazy I'm 55 but the last thing I need is to get pregnant - yuck I can't even imagine. Hopefully very soon I will not test positive for the hormone and can finish all that. In the meantime it does mean the collagen in my face is not disappearing at such a rapid rate.
I wish all of you a wonderful AF Sunday.

[Sunbeam]

The Golden Girls

Hi friends,
I'm certainly in your age group, I'll be sixty this year. Quitting drinking wasn't quick and easy for me, but I finally figured it out. My age and approaching retirement have been motivators for me. I used to fill too much of my free time with drinking, and could see what was going to happen when there was more free time. I'm not yet retired, but have cut back to working two days per week. Life isn't perfect but it is much better without alcohol.

[A Better Me]

The Golden Girls

Go Ladies. You're all an inspiration. :thanks:

[satz123]

The Golden Girls

Great thread ladies -let's keep it up there !
I think us older ladies - we've realised we've had a good innings and it's time to stop !
A drunk 50-odd year old is sooooooooo not a good look :egad:

DipGirl I really feel for you and your home situation - but you CAN change.
Keep on trying :l