signs of alcoholism to look for

[Guest]

Hello
I really like reading you website. I am married to an alcoholic but I don't drink at all. I really think it is great how everyone supports everyone. My problem is that I feel ignorant on what signs to look for. I put my husband on Antibuse but I still have doubts.

I was just wondering if you could tell me of signs that he is or is not drinking that I could look for.

I am tired of feeling ignorant:c

Thanks Tanya

[Guest]

signs of alcoholism to look for

Tanya, I would suggest that you buy the pdf and read rj MWO. Antibuse makes people sick if they drink on it. I suggest you ask your husband and have an honest conversation. Perhaps if you buy the printed book and leave it out for him to read, IF he has a problem, then he can address it in his time. It's his health and life. He's the only one that can do it if he has a problem.

[Guest]

signs of alcoholism to look for

I know you ar eright I just wish I could fix it:h . Thank you for the advice

[Guest]

signs of alcoholism to look for

Hi 1tanyar

I can suggest an excellent book on alcholism and problem drinking:

Under the Influence. By James R. Milam, and Katherine Ketcham.

After I expressed my fears regarding my drinking to my parents, my Mom bought this book. She read it then sent it to me.

It calmed some fears and raised my awareness. That is important during this journey.

AND

she didn't underline stuff and put asterisks in the margins like she usually does. That drives me nuts.

I wish hope for you and your husband.

Helen

[Guest]

signs of alcoholism to look for

Tanya

I agree with CV, and would with helen if I had read the book, But having listened to Helen on a number of occasions I can vouch that she gives good advice. The bottom line is that it is down to hubby to identify his problem, but I can assure you that (being a man) that if you nag him he will probably throw up the old shutters and not want to take on that responsibility. But again I would agree that if you can persuade him to read the book, without being judgemental that it may help. It depends I suppose on how far hubby has gone with drinking. I was at a stage where I was falling about and getting embarrased by wetting myself and stuff like that. That really hit home because my wife threatened to leave me. And I could see what was happening. Now, since being with MWO I have stoped drinking for a whole month completely and am now on what I call mods which is no alcohol during the week at all and a couple of glasses of wine on Fri/Sat night as a reward. I do love getting up in the mornings and remembering what I did the night before. I am droning now,, hope it helps...good luck

kirky

[Guest]

signs of alcoholism to look for

Hi, 1tanyar and welcome.

You don't sound ignorant at all. I imagine you probably recognize the signs of your husband's drinking better than anyone. How wonderful he has someone as supportive and positive as you to help him beat this addiction.

As always, the folks around here have excellent advice--I agree with everything above.

Also, a couple more things if your husband does indeed show interest. (And yes, motivation is key, he's gotta want this change. I know you'd fix it yourself if you could.)

I often get email from men asking "is this a program just for women?". Maybe it's the cover of the book or the way I wrote it, but please be sure to let him know the therapy (just like the problem) absolutely crosses genders. He's sure to find outstanding male support here on the board, as well. Encourage him to post.

Something else to consider if your husband wishes to undertake a program which includes medication: new meds are now available to plug into MWO and one of particular interest to men is Naltrexone (Vivitrol), which is recently available in the US. Some studies indicate that men respond better than women to this once-monthly injection, but more research is needed. Here's an article from U.S. News and World report about how Naltrexone is different from Antabuse, which you are considering. (We do have patients/members using Antabuse, as well.) Here's another overview. Some researchers believe Vivitrol is more effective when used in combination with Campral (another medication he may want to consider as a stand-alone drug). Topamax has also been used successfully by many MWO'ers. Baclofen is another anti-craving medication to consider. Others, like Acomplia, will be available soon.

Of course, the meds are only one aspect of this therapy. Since you're motivated to work with him, maybe you can share other elements of the program, like a new exercise routine you'll have fun doing together. Prepare also for helping him fill in time in which he will no longer be drinking (with movies, walks, night classes, sports, fostering an interest in new hobbies, etc.)

Sometimes the guys are a little more reluctant to use the hypnotherapy (present company excluded!) If your hubby shows interest in doing the program, it may be helpful for him to read some research about the efficacy of hypnotherapy in treating addiction. We have a few articles housed in our research area, and there are many online.

Please keep in touch here on the board and know that many family members stuggle as you do to get a loved one into treatment. If you haven't yet, you may want to look at Al-Anon's site, which provides support to friends and family members of alcoholics.

Very best to you and your husband. We're all rooting for you both. :-)

RJ