Roberta Jewell's welcome message

[Jazi's Mum]

There has been some controversy here about different ways to control abusive drinking. I personally have found help with drug therapy. Others insist that this is never going to really help, and that complete abstinence (the AA model) is the ONLY WAY.

Right up front on this forum, as a sticky, is a message from the founder of MyWayOut, Roberta Jewell.

She states:

My Way Out is an easy to follow program to overcome dependence on alcohol. You can decide whether you want to stop drinking forever or change your habits and body chemistry so that you can drink moderately, in a controlled way. Some of you will make that decision right up front and for others, your choice will evolve over time. Both goals are achievable and My Way Out will help get you there.

Unlike any program before, My Way Out combines new and emerging anti-craving medications, hypnotherapy (with CDs you can play at home), nutritional supplements and a light exercise program. Each element is essential, although some opt to not take medication. When done together?as outlined?they can dramatically curb your craving to drink. You?ll read on our message board stories of the many people who were overjoyed when their desire for alcohol diminished, often quickly and painlessly. And finally, you can take control of your addiction in the privacy of your own home. You can also follow My Way Out with a 12-step program, but again, do it completely on your own, if you wish, without fellowship based meetings or inpatient treatment. Support is important, however, and you'll find it here "on the board."

it is really not relevant whether moderators eventually decide to quit entirely or not. That's a separate issue.

I hope this information will put a stop to posts which intrude on 'moderation' or 'meds' sections here telling us we are doomed to fail. Or that we have simply not accepted that we have a disease, or that we're in denial, or that we are powerless over our actions.
JMum

[Kradle123]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Hi Jazi - these types of differences have existed pretty much since MWO's creation and I can pretty much guarantee everyone here is very well aware of the tension it can create.

I know you know this already...but My advice to you ( and to keep you from getting overwrought or over thought about it) is simply take what you need from this site and acknowledge that it's made up of people from all over the planet who mean well but are after all...just people.

:l

[Pavati]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Kradle123;1614873 wrote: My advice to you ( and to keep you from getting overwrought or over thought about it) is simply take what you need from this site and acknowledge that it's made up of people from all over the planet who mean well but are after all...just people.

:l

Thanks, Kradle. Very well said.

[Byrdlady]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Pavati;1614875 wrote: Thanks, Kradle. Very well said.

Amen to the Amen. We are all doing the best we can. Byrdie

[acadiaofmaine]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Yup, this topic has caused many a wonderful person to leave MWO forever, I'm thinking back to Work in Progress who was an amazing support to me a couple years back.

This is an international, open forum, and given that, there are going to be as many opinions as there are people. There is no one size fits all answer, would that there were!

Ann

[allswell]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

There are so many wise people on this site, like Kradle said (and she's a very wise person!) take what helps you in a very individual way. Whatever helps can't hurt!

[SKendall]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Interesting thread. I agree one size doesn't fit everyone, and if Roberta were writing that message today, I think she would also add that moderation for her was a total failure with dire consequences.

I think it is good that people who[B]can[B] moderate support each other, and I wish you well.

[TrueGrit]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

I wholeheartedly support the OP. I created a thread about my moderation movement in just getting started and was shocked at the responses. I came here for support and was expecting some with that thread and instead I was treated like the ugly girl at the dance. Apparently I was lying to myself, not telling the truth about the cultural argument, that no one is able to moderate etc etc. I will not be posting anymore in that thread and am content to just let it die as there is no point in arguing with people that are so set in their beliefs that anyone that goes against those are branded as lying to themselves and are castrated.

One funny thing that I noticed was that I told everyone that I literally knew people who were branded as a "hopeless alcoholic" that were able to successfully moderate their booze. No one wanted to comment on that but instead zeroed in on things they thought they could use to further their argument even with no proof and a faux psychic ability to tell me that I am lying about certain aspects of my life and that I am lying to myself. They must have a crystal ball next to their computers. There were some there that were trying to be helpful through their own experiences and that I welcomed.

I will continue to post in my continuous thread in the General discussion area regarding my moderation journey but arguing with people about what works best for people is like arguing about their favorite football teams and it is ridiculous.

SKendall wrote: I think she would also add that moderation for her was a total failure with dire consequences.

*Eyeroll* What? Everything that I read on her and moderation said NOTHING like that at all. Are you just making that up so you can further your own agenda?

Regards.

[Byrdlady]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

TrueGrit;1615033 wrote: I wholeheartedly support the OP. I created a thread about my moderation movement in just getting started and was shocked at the responses. I came here for support and was expecting some with that thread and instead I was treated like the ugly girl at the dance. Apparently I was lying to myself, not telling the truth about the cultural argument, that no one is able to moderate etc etc. I will not be posting anymore in that thread and am content to just let it die as there is no point in arguing with people that are so set in their beliefs that anyone that goes against those are branded as lying to themselves and are castrated.

One funny thing that I noticed was that I told everyone that I literally knew people who were branded as a "hopeless alcoholic" that were able to successfully moderate their booze. No one wanted to comment on that but instead zeroed in on things they thought they could use to further their argument even with no proof and a faux psychic ability to tell me that I am lying about certain aspects of my life and that I am lying to myself. They must have a crystal ball next to their computers. There were some there that were trying to be helpful through their own experiences and that I welcomed.

I will continue to post in my continuous thread in the General discussion area regarding my moderation journey but arguing with people about what works best for people is like arguing about their favorite football teams and it is ridiculous.



*Eyeroll* What? Everything that I read on her and moderation said NOTHING like that at all. Are you just making that up so you can further your own agenda?

Regards.

Check the dates on " everything you read" TrueG, the most recent date is 2008. My understanding is, as SKendall writes, RJ is now abstinent.
The only agenda we have here is to try and help each other out of this hell of alcoholism. WE aren't selling anything nor do we get paid, in fact, sometimes it really sucks when you see how blind AL has made us and then people eyeroll and cast stones at us for trying to help others avoid killing themselves. I find it sad, yet amusing that the people who are loudest advocates about this have the least experience and success at it. If you are the researcher you seem to be, just look back at the history of folks here....look back at the posts and see who is successfully moderating. There is a huge difference in calling yourself a modder and actually sticking to the guidelines of it, after all, I did that myself. It is not the AF folks who are irresponsible for trying to spare you the agony of all this, it is the ones who are saying its possible while they are NOT actually DOING it! They may be TRYING, but there's a big difference in trying and succeeding. Giving you FALSE HOPE is cruel, IMHO. Once I stopped bullspitting myself and listening to those who were doing the same I have finally been able to beat this monster. I have found the only way to be free of a problem is to eliminate the source of it, this is especially true of addiction.
If you could just see how much better your life could be without AL, you would wonder why you protested so hard to keep it.
All the best to your efforts. B

[TrueGrit]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Byrdlady;1615072 wrote: Check the dates on " everything you read" TrueG, the most recent date is 2008. My understanding is, as SKendall writes, RJ is now abstinent.
The only agenda we have here is to try and help each other out of this hell of alcoholism. WE aren't selling anything nor do we get paid, in fact, sometimes it really sucks when you see how blind AL has made us and then people eyeroll and cast stones at us for trying to help others avoid killing themselves. I find it sad, yet amusing that the people who are loudest advocates about this have the least experience and success at it. If you are the researcher you seem to be, just look back at the history of folks here....look back at the posts and see who is successfully moderating. There is a huge difference in calling yourself a modder and actually sticking to the guidelines of it, after all, I did that myself. It is not the AF folks who are irresponsible for trying to spare you the agony of all this, it is the ones who are saying its possible while they are NOT actually DOING it! They may be TRYING, but there's a big difference in trying and succeeding. Giving you FALSE HOPE is cruel, IMHO. Once I stopped bullspitting myself and listening to those who were doing the same I have finally been able to beat this monster. I have found the only way to be free of a problem is to eliminate the source of it, this is especially true of addiction.
If you could just see how much better your life could be without AL, you would wonder why you protested so hard to keep it.
All the best to your efforts.

Thank you for a great response! I hope you don't mind if I ask you a couple questions...

I know of people who have went from "hopeless alcoholics" into successful moderation. They used to be close friends but they had their own families and moved on...we are still in contact somewhat though...are they lying to themselves as well? Are they wrong in their choice to still drink on a very moderated level and still enjoy life and booze?

What happens if I do succeed? Will that still be wrong also?

I ask you these questions because you seem like a smart bird

[kuya]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Hey TG

I am sorry you have felt attacked.....I, for one, know exactly how that feels! :H:H

I now wish I had waited before adding my abstainers perception to the debate.

Roberta did eventually abstain, why we can only conjecture. Her dream was to offer an alternative to the AA 'all or nothing' mentality......I think the site has realised that dream.

However addiction is an emotional subject and addicts, active or recovering often suffer 'all or nothing' thinking and opinions.........which is the core reason we drank to excess.

One thing I do remember clearly is that the possibility of moderating lead me to this site..........then I quickly learned I couldn't do it and had the support to quit.

Maybe you can moderate successfully.

I won't say I HOPE so since I personally reject the concept of the ingestion of alcohol now as a cultural nonsense.

But I DO hope you find peace, health and happiness whichever route you choose. :h

[TrueGrit]

Roberta Jewell's welcome message

Kuya wrote: I am sorry you have felt attacked.....I, for one, know exactly how that feels!
I really didn't feel attacked at first, I thought I would have an intellectual conversation with them until no matter what I said was wrong and I was supposedly lying to myself lol.

Kuya wrote: Roberta did eventually abstain, why we can only conjecture.

I did not know that, I guess I only read so far and this is what I saw...here is her quote "moderation was the best case scenario, and when I developed this program, I decided that this would be my goal, my best case scenario, and because I felt the approach-this way of tackling it with medication, behavior modification, nutrition, diet and exercise, was going to be so powerful it just may work…and it did!"

Kuya wrote: But I DO hope you find peace, health and happiness whichever route you choose.

Thank you for the kind words, I really do appreciate it. If you would like you can follow my continuous post here... https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ead-89330.html