aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

On day four today and its been so much better. A near normal sleep has helped. Shocking sleep night before.

Tight chest is barely there and usual triggers didn't appear.

Trigger one, big food shop.
Trigger two, driving home.
Trigger three, walking dog past shop.
Trigger four, the afternoon.

Have been active like I used to be, proper housework for one. Lately I've just been tidying up. I used to be functional but the last six months or so I haven't.

My face isn't puffy and I'm not so bloated.

I haven't done more than two days for two years.

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

start of day 5

heavy sleep last night with a very clear dream.
dropped off at airport for long haul travel.
go through all sorts of places to get to check in then gate and realise i havent got anything with me. no luggage, no books magazines phone ipad water food. not sure about tickets though i must have them to get to gate.
no one is interested. passengers ignore me, the crew shrug, its my fault.
why dont they help me? why didnt who dropped me off not notice i had nothing with me? you dont fly long haul in just the clothes you stand up in!
i dont remember the number of the person who dropped me off (who does? the phone does it for you, except i dont have my phone!).

phew.

i have bouts of having travelling dreams, along roads, paths rivers stairways etc. trying to get somewhere. dont normally ask for help in them.

i realise i'm on my own in this.
its up to me.
for me.

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

deleted

[Kradle123]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

Hi Roxane! :welcome: and :goodjob: on Day Five!!!

Sometimes it feels like we get lost in the shuffle here especially in the beginning but I swear this isn't true...everything you post is a HUGE help to people coming before you and after you. It's just that there are times people don't know what to say or are late for work or are just shy or tired. Taking things personally is something I do really well and I am trying SO HARD not to let that happen!!

I think you are doing great and thank you so much for posting the raw difficulty of getting through those first few days. I usually post over the One Step At a time. Thread so please come on over if you have time.

the Newbie nest is where I hung out mostly n the beginning. You will NEVER feel alone over there :H lots and lots and lots and lots of people sailing over there all at various stages of this journey but more are at the beginning ...hence the name

Stay close and again congrats on getting home without getting off the exit....
:h:l

[red67]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

Hi Roxanne, you are doing great! I know sometimes things get slow around here and I want to make sure you know you are not alone. My first months of sobriety I checked in here all the time. I needed reassurance that I could do this and I needed support from others who were more knowledgeable than myself about this battle.

Keep it simple and stick to one day at a time. It can be overwhelming in the beginning to think past today. Even now I sometimes stick to one day at a time.

I am very proud of you and will keep my eyes open for your posts here. You are doing an amazing job!

[red67]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

I just wanted to add to what Kradle said. There are many members who stick to certain threads and have formed very strong relationships and support systems within those threads. One Step at a Time, The Army Thread and Ladies on a Mission come to mind.

It may be helpful to join in on one of those threads (you will not get lost in the posts like you might in the nest - although the nest is great too) I think you will find tons of daily support from a regular group of long term members if you join in on one of those threads.

Don't be afraid to jump into any of them. They are all wonderful and very welcoming.

I hope you are feeling better and have a :l or two :l:l from me.

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

Thank you red and kradle

Felt I was talking to myself on this thread (I was). this thread was mine to be accountable. that's ok to a point, but support is needed.

I fell at five days, almost to spite myself.

I have posted in newbies nest and others. I try. But I feel like I'm butting in. I'm at the stage of not knowing the conversation that's going on plus I find it hard with people I don't know.

Anyway.......

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

Btw, army thread? Thought it was for people attached to the forces. My ignorance.

[Bella]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

Ive read yr posts..well done you! Fantastic. Keep going. Remember how great it feels in the morning after no alcohol the night before. Yr not alone...we r all here and listening. Take care..bella xxx

[red67]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

roxane;1621076 wrote: Btw, army thread? Thought it was for people attached to the forces. My ignorance.

Hehe, me too! But its an Army against AL. They are a great bunch of people over there. The other threads I mentioned are awesome too. I think you will really benefit from joining in on one of them. It's a smaller group of people who consistently check in and check up on each other. I know the nest is great but yeah it's hard to keep up in there. I know when I started getting sober I needed a couple of strong supports in my corner to help me navigate those first months. I know on each of the threads I mentioned you will find more than a handful of members who are long term and will watch over you. I will too, I just don't belong to any specific group here. I am kind of a free spirit now that I have almost 3 years. But I will provide any support you need here also.

What are your plans for the weekend?

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

yes, i feel im floating about, ungrounded.

have been looking at the threads mentioned and i have posted in a few, in a sneak in unnoticed way.

doing nothing of interest this weekend. cant be bothered and ive pushed what friends i had away anyway. i talk to my brother and two neighsbours. one has her own problems and the other i can take in small doses only.

reading what ive written so far and i seem so... flat.

[available]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

Hey Roxane now come over to the loamers and do a big long winded post like me and boy will you be noticed lol. Its so hard to keep up sometimes with what everyone is doing and finding the right thread for you. Just keep posting everyday and you will settle right in. It takes time to remember names, who's who, who does what, who has what kids, who is married, who is single but just ask you will always get an answer.

Expect to be flat giving up al, you have lost your best friend, that is how i felt. My drinking buddy, my friend who i could drink with, my favourite companion in the whole world. You will feel lost and not sure what to do but just pick two things to do per day, nothing huge so it overwhelms you. Something like cleaning the bath or cleaning the linen cupboard, going for a walk, reading a book, watching a documentary (funny how good it is to remember the start, middle and end now). I did not set myself too many goals at first. I thought i would bounce back straight away but well that was bull. Be gentle and easy on yourself. The main thing is not to drink today. Dont focus on tomorrow or next week just today.

I have done 9 weeks and i still cant believe it, it feels like someone else, god i have never succeeded in accomplishing anything of great value (except my children) and here i am today. It will get better, i promise you that. There will be good days and bad days and no so bad days but it feels wonderful to wake up every single day without a hangover, with a clear head, remembering everything in the last 24 hours. You will never regret not drinking but you will always regret it if you do!.

Big hugs and one day at a time. When i first started here i thought no one was listening, i read all the posts and was so happy if my name was mentioned but after awhile of posting people got to know me and added my name to their posts. You will get there, dont ever give up and keep posting.

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

my friend? no, i hate it, its no friend of mine.

a problem i have ava is that i cant keep tabs on my posts as i dont get notification. i have pmed the site with no reply so far. i sent it on tuesday i think.

i saw this as because you posted, it was in the new posts list.

i posted in another thread about 15 mins ago but i cant remember which one! :H

[JackieClaire]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

You were over here,love.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ary-89760.html

[roxane]

aannnnddd........... i'm back in the room.

found it, thanks for the direction JC