Feeling pretty worthless right now...

[hud9103]

New here. Don't know if this is even the place to tell this story or if anyone even cares (not looking for sympathy...just maybe for someone to listen I guess. I got my first (and last) DWI this past weekend. It was the one thing I strived never to do...I usually don't do it but this time I got caught. I cringe when I hear DWI....because that's just not me. "That's for someone else" I thought. My parents didn't even want me to go back to school because of the influences I would be surrounded with (fraternity). I reassured them that they didn't have anything to worry about because I was a different person and way more mature now. I don't feel like I'm a bad person you know? I feel like I'm a decent and genuine person with goals and ambitions.... The first week of being here I get a DWI...when my apartment was right around the corner. Didn't even drive far (that's why I thought I could and be okay). Anyways, I feel like I let my parents down big time....I can hear it in their voice. My mom has always been strict and when I called her from jail (first time ever being there), I expected to hear the normal stuff- "I told you not to do that and look where you are now! Why'd you do that!?" Etc. But instead she was very calm almost as if nothing serious happened...she just said "Are you okay?" Me: "Yeah...I'm so sorry"....Her: "Just take care of yourself". And that was it. Sounds normal but I know it wasn't. Now I have a bunch of stuff to deal with legally that my parents are going to get involved with and its just taking a toll on me. I was in jail for 33 hours straight with nothing to eat, no sleep, sips of water here and there...as extremely miserable that was, all of thats okay, I deserved it... I just remember saying to the officer "Please don't contact my parents" at the time of arrest. My dad drove here to bail me out but I almost didn't want him to because of the hassle I have caused. I have always hated being a burden and now I am a huge burden to my family. My parents basically have nothing to say (what can they say?). I honestly just feel like a terrible person...and that I proved them right. Now I have to go to court and gee, I wonder how thats going to go...I mean, a DWI....everyone hates people that do that. When every situation is different. I feel like I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time under the influence of the wrong stuff...(think i should tell that to the judge?...yeah right). Anyways I'm just rambling....with no specific structure to my words. All that I know at this point is that I really let people close to me down....worst feeling I've ever experienced in my life.

[vynan]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

HUD,

Glad that you are recognizing this as an issue. Be positive and take it as a valuable lesson in life and do not repeat or let alcohol take control of your actions.
Parents are forgiving and will understand your position. Take care and I hope everything falls in place

Vy

[available]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

Hi Hud and welcome. If you feel you have a drinking problem then now is the best time to stop before you get too old and too addicted to al and it ruins your life. Parents are very resilent creatures but we can only do and take so much with our children, of course they are disappointed and hurt but you are their child and they love you. Only you can change Hud for the better and make them proud and yourself.

this is a great place to help you stop drinking and lots of support. Head to the Newbies Nest and say hello. Take care.

[kronkcarr]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

hud,

I'm sorry for your pain. At your age I would have wanted to die rather than have my parents called. But you got bailed out of that hell. You've come to the right place for support. I know it seems like you'll never get out of the feelings you have, but you will. As far as court goes you'll do what you have to.

Maybe, in a way you can't see yet, you've been saved lots of years. Hang tough and read posts and post what's going on for you. People here will walk through this with you.

[satz123]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

You poor thing. You are NOT worthless....you made a mistake - you will learn from it - that is why they are called mistakes.
You will not do it again.
Unfortunately it was a biggie .... but this too will pass.

Do not beat yourself up over it ... your parents will not want that ... they forgive you :l

Brush yourself off there and look forward to how you intend to change your life to ensure that won't happen again.
:l take care of yourself and again forgive yourself .... no-one died

[K9Lover]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

Hud,
You are NOT worthless. Maybe this is the wake up call you need. I wish I had learned this lesson at your young age. Instead I got 2 DWI's and spent LOTS of time in jail, and tens of thousands of dollars in fines...not to mention how bad I felt about myself. But on the bright side, nobody was hurt, and I was able to turn things around. You can too. You WILL get past this and your parents will be fine. You can look back years from now and be glad that you learned a lesson. Are you wanting help to stop drinking? If so, you've come to a great place.
K9

[Samstone]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

Hello Hud
please know you are welcomed and we all know that feeling you're experiencing. Click on the link below posted by G-Man. It is worth reading.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...thy-89371.html

[Kradle123]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

HUD, I second and third what everyone has posted here and want to add that as a parent myself now....and as someone who did exactly what you did, back in the day...I can say with complete confidence that your parents are incredibly relieved that you are okay and not dead or didn't kill anyone and that this problem is being addressed now instead of 20 years down the road.
I did not see any of that when I was sailing in your boat because obviously, I had no children of my own. I too thought this was the end of the world, and I was completely mortified!
Now, I am dealing with some difficult things my son has done (he is 15) and all I can say is how grateful I am for having the recourses and support to move through these things with him in a loving way- not bitter and resentful...

Believe me Hud, this is the best thing that could have happened to you and your parents live you to pieces no matter what ...trust me on that one! :l

Stay close, sweetie. Lots of support here

[tree23]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

Hud, Welcome to MWO. This is a great community of people all in different stages of recovery. I truly believe that it is much easier to let yourself down than your parents. I don't know what that is about but for me, and for most of my friends, it is true. I'd say be honest with the judge and if you are serious, ask for help with your drinking. It might look bad on your record now but think of the long run. Better to make a mistake when your young(ish) and to learn and grow from it than to never be held accountable for your actions and in the end have your actions and AL lead you to a place that is much more dire. Thankfully I have never driven under the influence, therefore no DUI or DWI, but that is partly because i would ask my mom to drive me or I'd take a cab. Took the car right out of the picture. As I have heard it said in AA "The good thing about hitting rock bottom is there is nowhere to go but up!"
A bientot~Day 23 AF

[SlipperyPete]

Feeling pretty worthless right now...

You remind me of myself, hud. I've gotten in a bunch of legal trouble (including 2 DUI's), and my parents have been involved in a lot of it (lawyer fee's, bail, etc.). I remember feeling like a burden on them, too, and the guilt and shame of that was probably the worst. 33 hours in jail isn't too bad. I had to spend 2 months in jail for my 2nd DUI.

First off, my suggestion is to not worry about how this impacts your parents. I know that in your situation, it really seems like our parents can't handle our behavior and that we're just bringing them down and ruining their lives. It turns out that our parents can be much stronger than we think, and we don't affect them in the ways that we think we do. Part of that is pride, but also shame makes it seem much worse than it really is. They'll be fine!

Also, don't worry about how other people perceive you for getting a DUI. EVERYONE makes mistakes. It's pretty much how you own it. If you admit that you messed up and you're looking to correct your behavior, then that's a commendable act. It's hard to admit mistakes and own our wrongdoings. A DUI doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you messed up.

Also, about the DUI thing: my lawyer always used to tell me how Dick Cheney has 2 DUI's on his record and he became the Vice President of the United States. In the bigger picture, this isn't as big a deal as it feels to you right now.

Lastly, if your parents are having a really hard time accepting this, tell them about Al-Anon. My parents have been going to those meetings for years. It helps them detach from your drinking. Good luck!