Sincere apology, please read.

[K9Lover]

Sincere apology, please read.

True - You DO have a good sense of humor...you'll get far with that!

Maybe you don't need to move the thread. Just start a new one or continue the one you have there (don't you have one there? I guess I shoulda checked...lol)

Anyway, thanks for understanding the abstainers point of view too! We wish the best for everyone and if what you're doing works for you, then keep it up!

p.s. Can someone be a "moderate" smoker? Or is that an all-or-nothing thing? I guess the term is "light" smoker. Now I'm just babbling. LOL

[TrueGrit]

Sincere apology, please read.

K9Lover;1617543 wrote: True - You DO have a good sense of humor...you'll get far with that!
Thanks! I guess after all of the stupid shit I have done over the course of my life I need to have one

I had a friend who was a professional comedian and he once told me that humor is born from pain.

K9Lover;1617543 wrote: Maybe you don't need to move the thread. Just start a new one or continue the one you have there (don't you have one there? I guess I shoulda checked...lol)
I actually don't have one there, I really don't know why I haven't put a thread in the one section that pertains to what I am trying to accomplish. :goodjob: me!

K9Lover;1617543 wrote: Anyway, thanks for understanding the abstainers point of view too!

It is really easy to jump on the selfish train while dealing with an addiction or a problem and I was on that train until I sat back and took a hard look at the bigger picture. Everyone here is dealing with their own crap and I should have been sensitive to that instead of wanting everyone to only understand what I was dealing with.


K9Lover;1617543 wrote: p.s. Can someone be a "moderate" smoker? Or is that an all-or-nothing thing? I guess the term is "light" smoker. Now I'm just babbling. LOL

Bwahaha. I tried to "moderate" my smoking by deciding to buy a carton of ultra lights...I got half way through the first pack before I started cutting off the filters.

[red67]

Sincere apology, please read.

I too am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. As I said before, I do understand that this is a journey. Sometimes I just want to grab people by the ear and drag em over to my way of thinking. That doesn't work. So welcome back and I wish you well on this journey. We are both from Wisconsin and I always like to see people from around these parts on here (well not that I like that people have an issue with alcohol). I wish none of needed this site but since we do, I am happy to see a fellow cheesehead

[TrueGrit]

Sincere apology, please read.

red67;1617561 wrote: I too am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. As I said before, I do understand that this is a journey. Sometimes I just want to grab people by the ear and drag em over to my way of thinking. That doesn't work. So welcome back and I wish you well on this journey. We are both from Wisconsin and I always like to see people from around these parts on here (well not that I like that people have an issue with alcohol). I wish none of needed this site but since we do, I am happy to see a fellow cheesehead

Its all good Red. I am sorry for being a dick, you guys didn't deserve that and I was too into my own little world to understand that HEY! maybe they have their own shit to deal with and they are venting due to their own experience. I should not have put myself on an island.

I am not originally from Wisconsin. I was born in Albuquerque N.M. then moved all over until we settled here for some reason lol. Wisconsin isn't that bad except they should have put a tavern on the flag and their state bird should have been the swallow

[red67]

Sincere apology, please read.

Hahahahaha I get it! I am not from here either. I was born in Michigan and we moved here when I was 10. I love this state except this f***ing winter. I said yesterday, I could totally understand how people in really cold climates (like alaska) could be alcoholics. What else do is there to do when it is so f***ing cold (I try to only cuss on the !;@!#$#$ thread).

Do you live in the heart of Madison? My nephew goes to UW Madison and I am absolutely shocked how much garbage is thrown all over the streets and sidewalks after a football game. Now those kids I would drag by the ear and make em pick up the trash

[SKendall]

Sincere apology, please read.

Good job and thank you for your post.

[TrueGrit]

Sincere apology, please read.

red67;1617565 wrote: Hahahahaha I get it! I am not from here either. I was born in Michigan and we moved here when I was 10. I love this state except this f***ing winter. I said yesterday, I could totally understand how people in really cold climates (like alaska) could be alcoholics. What else do is there to do when it is so f***ing cold (I try to only cuss on the !;@!#$#$ thread).

Do you live in the heart of Madison? My nephew goes to UW Madison and I am absolutely shocked how much garbage is thrown all over the streets and sidewalks after a football game. Now those kids I would drag by the ear and make em pick up the trash

I actually like the winter until it hits around mid January and then I have had it, especially this year, -30 was insane! Cold states have to have the highest rates of boozehounds, when it gets frigged there is almost nothing else to do its seems, everything here shuts down around nine and everything else that is open is a bar or a restaurant that is actually centered around a bar lol. One of my saving graces here is that you can not buy booze from the store after nine so if I do not get it by then than I am good to go sober for the rest of the night, bars at my age get old and I can't stand paying 12 bucks for two watered down drinks. That nine o'clock cut off helps with my moderation.

I don't live downtown and I would hate to have to. I actually picked up a part time job on the side years back to get some more Christmas money for my boys delivering pizzas for Dominos downtown. Delivering pizza downtown during games or especially bar time was pure hell, I imagine getting my teeth removed by chainsaw would have been a more pleasant experience.

[j-vo]

Sincere apology, please read.

Tru,
The important thing is that you're improving your life and your health, as you are drinking a lot less than before. Most of the time, we start on a journey, and we will go at it for some time, then realize we need to tweak it here or there. That's all a part of learning and growing. Keep learning and growing with us. Glad you're back.

[TrueGrit]

Sincere apology, please read.

Thank you SKendall and j-vo!

[Kradle123]

Sincere apology, please read.

TrueGrit;1617475 wrote: A.

Going through this experience has taught me that we all live in the same building but have different views.
.

TG This is the best description of our happy home here at MWO I've ever heard! :l:h
Welcome home!

[TrueGrit]

Sincere apology, please read.

Kradle123;1617651 wrote: TG This is the best description of our happy home here at MWO I've ever heard! :l:h
Welcome home!

Thanks Kradle123!

[vynan]

Sincere apology, please read.

Great to hear that true,

Welcome back. We are all here to support each other and and we all learn a bit everyday...glad or back mate

Vy

[hippie37]

Sincere apology, please read.

"Bwahaha. I tried to "moderate" my smoking by deciding to buy a carton of ultra lights...I got half way through the first pack before I started cutting off the filters."

It sounds like you do the same with the alcohol TrueGrit. You can get through the week then the week-end comes and you end up getting 'cut' yourself.

Your posts resonate with me so much (all of them). Not so much the content but the approach you take to responding to people.

I remember being in treatment and doing a life story which was read out in front of the community; after which I got some feedback. Nearly all the feedback was what I then deemed "positive". People were telling me how hard my life must of been and were generally making me feel a whole heap better about my current situation. Apart from one guy. A newcomer who'd only been in the place a few days. He said to me "I'd like to of heard more about your childhood and growing up". Well, that was it. He'd well and truly screwed up my attention seeking pleasures. I hated being 'challenged' in any way and felt the need to try and ignore him as much as possible.

So what I'm seeing here is UKblonde has 'challenged' you, by making comment to the contrary of what you yourself believe with all good intention. I'm just curious as to why your attention is focused on other posts leaving her post unacknowledged at the moment? maybe you just overlooked her post?

I was BIG TIME in denial about my drinking and had to keep even myself deluded to the reality because facing life without a drink was TOO scary for me to even contemplate. I'm really hoping, for your sake, you're gonna prove everyone wrong and manage your drink wisely. Yet, circumstances outside of you should never take priority over your own well being both physically and mentally. If other people wanna drink around you are you gonna drink yourself to death just because they're drinking? Think about it.

ONE Love.

[TrueGrit]

Sincere apology, please read.

hippie37;1617689 wrote: Well, that was it. He'd well and truly screwed up my attention seeking pleasures. I hated being 'challenged' in any way and felt the need to try and ignore him as much as possible.
I can agree that I cant stand being challenged at times until I sit back and think about the bigger picture and that is why this post is being read. I would never claim to have a harder life than anyone else but I have been through my share of shit and that has led to a very strong personality. Only in the 7-8 recent years have I learned to sit back see the world through the viewpoints of others due to having children. Of course I only do that when I have already lashed out but I have been working on it.

hippie37;1617689 wrote: So what I'm seeing here is UKblonde has 'challenged' you, by making comment to the contrary of what you yourself believe with all good intention. I'm just curious as to why your attention is focused on other posts leaving her post unacknowledged at the moment? maybe you just overlooked her post?

UKblonde said this ?I am knowing for not beating about the bush, I know you'll get better guidance in the modding section, but I do not believe moderation is about the 'buzz'. Moderation to me means a normal level of drinking, which is 1-2 drinks, the occasional drunk spell, and nothing over and above recommended limits (which doesn't mean saving up your units for 2 days each week)?.

?I do not believe? ?Moderation to me means? ?nothing over and above recommended limits?. There is a lot of those words and Moderation to me means something entirely different. I have made some very good progress and even my wife is very happy. My life at the moment with my form of moderation has become very comfortable while sober and while partaking in booze and the activities that come with it. That might be wrong in others eyes but we all have our own journey and if this leads to further and further moderation then so be it. If it leads to being AF then so be it. Where I am at right now is good and I will continue for the time being.
As far as the recommended limits?I have seen many different ?recommended? limits from many different websites, experts, think tanks etc etc. I have my own recommended limits and I know exactly where those are.

hippie37;1617689 wrote: Yet, circumstances outside of you should never take priority over your own well being both physically and mentally. If other people wanna drink around you are you gonna drink yourself to death just because they're drinking? Think about it.

I had a full physical somewhat recently and everything was great, albeit to my surprise, and something I do not want to ruin for sure. If my mind and body was able to go through what it did it surely will only benefit from cutting WAY back from what I was previously partaking in. There should be some type of congratulations for being able to do even that but I also understand you are speaking about the future. As I said above, if this takes a different turn down a different path regarding alcohol than so be it. At the moment, everything is going very well and I am happy. We will see what happens down the road.

Thank you for your heartfelt response! I really do appreciate the concern whether my response implied it or not.

[DipGal]

Sincere apology, please read.

So glad you are back TG! As long as there is not the word "mod" in the title line, you will get everyone reading and maybe posting on your thread. And you will continue to get the abstain vs mod conversation. My recommendation is to post one more time here, saying that you are continuing this conversation on your already started "updated mod thread". Go over there and give a synopsis of this, and from now on just post there. That way anyone abstaining or with the belief in abstaining will know right from the start that it is a thread regarding moderating. They do not have to read if they are uncomfortable or don't agree with your moderating techniques.

I am glad it is working well for you! I've had to order some medication to mod the way I want to without white knuckling and obsessing. It's our own individual journey. This is the place for ALL of us to find our way "out" of the place we don't want to be.

Hugs to you!

P.S. to you and my other midwestern neighbors. Will this weather ever end???? Kill me now!