From a strong .. total useless.....!

[Elizabeth]

I am sorry.. I write here so often when I am furious with life. A lot of you are going through a hell of a lot more than me. I have no right to go on. But whatever you face something you have family somewhere...I read your notes and for all the pain I love the strength and care you have. I'm a little like the silver backed jackle that struts across the savanah. I have such a beautiful home but its all about my survival. I am happy walking in the bush with clients, telling them about the beautiful bush, going down to a river bed and reading the wild spoor..what animasl did and when...something that most people would maybe thank God for. But I am not used to being part of all of yours world. My other half is a bastard as well, but I am alone here. I want to talk about what my probs are, but I can bet my last bottom dollar u will all shake your head and think I think too much of life.

Best I go back in the bush and shut up. I love my bush but I so need to talk to someone yet only the wild talks to me. I should not even be writing this I know.

[Guest]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

You are not a joke! you are a person whom I hold with utmost respect and I am very interested in anything you say! I will listen anytime, if something bothers you, Let us help you. nothing is silly that you ever say.
Smiles always
Mar

[irishlady]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizabeth, don't you DARE go away.. I know you are a part of your beloved Africa, but you are also a part of this community now, just the same as the rest of us...

I wasn't used to all this when I first logged on here at MWO.. I had never in all my life bared my soul to anyone, yet, I have been able to do that on here and it has helped with my healing process..

Tell us what your problems are, no one will judge you in any way at all.. I also think in the telling of them you may even find some solutions for yourself...

Please carry on posting on here, whether it be to let your anger out, make us laugh or to recount one of your spellbinding stories about the bush you love so much, you can't leave us now...

Love you from Louise xxx

[Elizabeth]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

I need to run, I need to rum away in the bush fast. My selfish, self centered bastard other half can get on with life without me. I know I am hurting friends of mine by doing my 'norm' escapism' but believe me I have to fly. CHRIST when will I learn not to care. BOY AM I A SUCKER! I've got to stop being weak and I have to stop crying now.

[Guest]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

You are not weak; but you are human! Run just as long as your path brings you full circle. we will be waiting always.Your special Elizabeth in such a way words can't even begin to describe.
Smiles you always
Mar

[Guest]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizabeth, just wanted you to know that I just told my little grandson that I have a friend in Africa, he is amazed he wants me to tell him all about you and your adventures with the lions. across the world your making one little guy's evening special! You my friend are the "magic"
Mary

[Determinator]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizibeth, it's ok to "go bush" as we used to say when I live in Oz. it can help clear the mind and find clarity. And caring is not weakness. It is a higher level of strength that is often times mislabled. Be well.

[Elizabeth]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Thanks u guys. :h :h :h I'll figure things out.

[Ripley]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizabeth, I have read your posts before and thought how lovely you sound.

Something I have learned recently: sharing yourself, your pain, your sorrow, your troubles.... it makes you stronger. I am having my fair share of crap right now and I am just floored by how many people are there for me, not judging me, helping me practically and emotionally. (although i am still looking for a benevolent millionaire sponsor to pay my divorce lawyer- anyone out there..?!) I have always been quite a buttoned-down kind of person, a coper, someone who fixes other people's problems. i don't like to share my own. But, holy moly, does that kindness come back at you in TRUCKLOADS when you do.

The people at MWO, whom I will probably never meet, have been some of the greatest support I have had in my life. Elizabeth this is a wonderful safety net for you - fall into it...

Kate x

[paula]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Dear Elizabeth, I agree with everything thats been said. I have never met you,but
reading your posts I feel that I do.You give me the impression of being a warm, lovely
thoughtful human being. We are all here for you.

[rudemama]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizabeth, Sometimes i feel i can't even see or feel my problems that they are covered up with so much daily maintainence of family, work, etc... i think it is so important to feel and feel and think .... i try to spend at least an hour a day in the woods... i listen for the beaver trying to scare me away at 6 am.... It is during these moments when my life seems illuminated....when the truth is revealed (maybe I think). maybe it is that you spend most of your life illuminated and grappling with what is true and real that you feel you feel too much.. its ok. it is good to look at yourself, to question your actions, motives, reasons etc... life is not easy for anyone...some people i feel just don't want to feel...and cover themselves up with stuff .... well back to my work i love you and keep coming... rudemama:h

[betty boop]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizabeth, I can only agree with what everyone else has said, and to remind you once again that we are all here for you ......

Take care and please look after yourself xxx

[Jacy]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Elizabeth.. I just want to say from my point of view you may think your problems are not worth sharing, but they are I have been feeling that way for awhile because I was so angry with myself for abstaining for a good 4 or 5 days and the next thing I know back at it again. I just came back on here yesterday after feeling really down and worthless. There is something keeping you where you are whether it be family, work or something else.

[Elizabeth]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

Thanks Mingi Sana.

You are so right... taking time out each day for a breather is very important. I'm making it a point of going for an afternoon walk & break from my office with my pups. (Yesterday my wild cat came running down the rough track calling out after me not to leave her behind. All the Tanzania kids coming back from school, farm men and the women carrying loads were all in fits of laughter watching me walk off with 2 pups and a noisey wild cat following!!!). It was a magic moment for sure.

I'm forcing myself to stop each day even if I'm up to my eye balls with a back log of paperwork after spending 2 weeks dedicated so several graphic projects. Also watched 'The Secret' yesterday after a friend dropped it round for me to see. It's true what they say 'Thoughts make things,' ...so its a very positive outlook for me as of yesterday... imagining all my future accomplishments and making them happen.

The answer to another one of your questions.... it's not the country or place that is causing me strife (far from it) its a certain person...but I am making chances in that dirrection now. Time to break free.

So thanks for your support, advice and care here.... u guys are my continuing safety net and part of my daily routine is to check in with you all here. Thanks Mingi Sana.

[Pisces]

From a strong .. total useless.....!

I'm Back

Hi, I wish you all the best, I've been missing mainly due to being F*^*cked up again, please know you're not alone, many of us travel in your shoes, and my shoes, lol, but at least we're still moving towards a goal.

Lot's of love, Jasmin