On Monday, February 4, I realized that my period was a day or so late. I took a pregnancy test, just to ease my worrying, and to my shock, the test result was positive.
I have been completely sober ever since. It has not been easy. I had a really hard time coping with the guilt over what my drinking may have done/could have done to my baby. My baby had an issue with her umbilical cord (not related to the drinking), so we induced labor a month early. She is now a happy, thriving 4 month old, who was born at a healthy weight and is the sweetest, happiest baby I've ever known.
There have been times when sobriety has not been easy. Like when I was out of town for work and had a hotel room, by myself, for a few days, a nice room with a full wet bar and two large bottles of wine, just sitting there.
I did not join AA, despite wanting to a few times, so this forum is pretty much the only place where I can celebrate this year.
I hope everyone is doing well! I especially appreciate the women who were willing to talk to me about their stories about sobriety, pregnancy and motherhood, especially in the beginning. As you can see from reading my posts, I seriously contemplated getting an abortion because I thought there was no way that my baby would not have fetal alcohol birth defects from the sheer amount of alcohol I had in those first few weeks of pregnancy. (I was right at the third week after conception when I found out I was pregnant and stopped drinking.) I am so glad that I had faith in my daughter, in my doctors, and in myself.
Here's to many more sober years!
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