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Re: good

I was ready to drink myself out of job and probably not finish graduate school.

Even though I drink, alcohol makes me feel sick - do not have great tolerance. I never got to point where did not get hangovers.

How much? A bottle of wine a night, pretty much every night - sometimes even more on weekends.
Pansy

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Hi
Mainly my health.My mum had a stroke at age 46,due to having high blood pressure and drinking too much.Two years ago i found that my blood pressure was very high and started to take the medication but its never went down to a level that pleased the doc,he is baffled,as i have never told him that i have a drinking prob.I tried to stop drinking in the passed but always failed.So i'v lived with the fear of having a(stroke)I was only 15 when my mum got sick,my life changed dramatically,going from a carefree teen to cooking and cleaning for a family of six and looking after mum.My youngest sister was only 7 at the time,my heart still goes out to her.

So the thought of me doing that to my family cuts me up.
Mums 72 now but was never fit after her stroke.


THe funny thing is mum only gave up drinking about 3 years ago, after another illness(Gout) She said "Oh the doc gave me these pill to take for the the gout, but you know what, i dont feel like drinking on them" I wonder
1 1/2 to 2 bottles a night every night and more at weekends.

luff

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interesting

Thanks you guys for responding. Its so interesting to hear peoples stories. Everyones different--yet the same. Sad when ya think about it. gabby

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Re: interesting

Thanks for sharing. You guys are all so great. I think we are all so couragous...yeah, for us. This whole thing is hard. I felt (still) like a loser (hence the name NOT a loser) getting fat, old and boozing...bored with life for no reason....decided to try and face the music...and myself/demons no matter how hard. I am drinking MUCH less...used to drink (honestly) up to 7 drinks a night every night and couldnt get to sleep unless i passed out-now I still drink everyday but only one drink a day sometimes two...but usually only one (this has been going on for 6 wks) Quit topa due to topadopa after 5 wks but now concentrating on the L Glut and Kudzu. Thanks for being "there" for yourselves and for each other. It makes us all a little stronger. peace, out-millie

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Hello,
I was drinking six to eight beers a day on weekdays, and more on weekends if I could get away with it. I was feeling complete despair, lethargy, depression and anger. I was closing in on myself and didn't want to get close to anyone - friends, family or husband - because my "secret" was causing me to hate myself and feel isolated from the whole world. Even that self-loathing though, was not enough. In the end it was someone else who saved me - I got pregnant. I'm now 48 days without alcohol. I just pray every day that I stopped in time, that I haven't hurt my baby because I was still drinking three weeks after conception.
Thanks for sharing everyone, it's an interesting thread.

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hey there,bit of a long story coming up! sorry!

firstly, when i first came upon this site i was drinking upto 8 strong beers a night and i found myself actually TRYING to drink more even though i knew i didn't need it! at the time i was smoking *%^ aswell so that kind of doubled the effect the beer was having on me. in the mornings i felt like absolute c"^p and then i had to go to work and do a pretty complicated job which demanded complete concentration. the trouble i found was that i still felt like c%&p when i got home so i would do the same thing all over again to make myself feel better, catch 22.

secondly, apart from the advice and support i recieved on here, one of the main steps to my path of sobriety was when i attended a bbq last weekend and after getting bladdered i decided it would be fun to have a go on the trampoline in my brothers back yard!! yep you guessed it, i fell a over t and pretty much made a pillock of myself! (i must add i wasn't the only one!) anyways i found that night to be an appropriate time to confess to my brother(and best friend) that i was an alcoholic and he did not take it too well, we had a major argument and after scuffles and punches were thrown and his kitchen window was punched through he calmed down a little and i realised that he was in more denial than i was! we both ended up in tears(2 grown men) and i decided that alcohol was NOT going to cause me any more problems as it has caused more than i can remember, so there you go, a combination of this program and so many bad memories cuased by drinking has convinced me to AT LEAST cut down on my drinking, and the good news is, its worked! and i feel so much better for it.

all the best, lj.x

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LJ 57
Love those brother fights. I have those with my alcoholic brother pretty much anytime we are together. (only im the sis)humm.....wonder whats up with that. Anyway dont beat yourself up on that. I have anther brother that is totally non addict (the other brother and I have had our love for pot too) Anyway the funny thing is like you said...that brother is the most in denial too! Any of the childhood issues--family crap aka abuse issues, he is the worst about WONT talk about it and dont bring that stuff up. But no drug or alcohol issues....weird. When I was goin through a lot of grieving and really working through some of that childhood stuff----inner child healing, john bradshaw, aduld child, stuff.....the non addict brother wouldnt even talk to me for years. Cuz when I shared about the stuff I was grieving.....he just couldnt hear it. So he quit callin me or takin my calls. I never understood why he was mad at me. Turns out he wasnt mad....it was he couldnt hear the past that I was so activly workin through. It bothered him so much.....yet he never turned to alcohol or drugs.........but so deeply scared him. Sad huh? Anyway....reminded me of your story. Hope you read this as I can relate. : gabby

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Hi All!

Just so nice to know that I'm not alone.

LJ57, that was very couragous of you to "out" yourself to love ones. I'm far from there.

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So....I was told that I wouldn't be taken seriously unless I am a registered member, however I keep coming up "unregistered" and then I try to re-register and "it" tells me that I am already registered.

BUT, I AM SERIOUS! I decided to join this group of wonderful people because I my life was becoming more and more controlled by drinking.

My days off were (sometimes still are) all about drinking. I actually stopped making plans with friends because I know that I would probably be drinking and not follow-thru. So I wake up and start drinking, putzing around with the intention of getting the "perfect" buzz to then jump on my bike or take a walk on the beach. Trouble is, the perfect buzz somehow would skip over me and I would instead take a nap (a.k.a.-passout). I would then wake up, start drinking again....YUK...I feel sorry for this person....too bad it's my story.

Drinking has recently progressed into my work day. YIKES! SCARY! Thankfully I work for myself and THINK no one has noticed. Being the sole supporter of myself, I was feeling desperate at this point and realized I had to change. That's when I found MWO.

So...besides having to grin when friends and family laugh about my infamous pass out stories, besides the days wasted lying around with a hangover, besides not being out in the exciting world because I am chained at home to a bottle, besides dating some great guys and blowing it by getting WAY too drunk, besides feeling as though my career may be influenced by my drinking, besides waking up and not remebering everything, besides waking up and remebering everything and cringing, besides having responsibilites and just getting through them feeling like crap, besides the countless hours of my life I have spent in bars/partying, besides time going by very quickly without change.....I have NO IDEA why I'm here.

How much do I drink...prefer not to keep track. Just know when I take out the recyclables, it's not pretty.

So glad to know you all...can't say that enough!

XOXO

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Hi Needchange,

I had trouble registering too. Keep trying, you'll get it.

Your story reminded me of myself 20 years ago. I am assuming you are fairly young. I am almost envious of your self awareness. I wasted so much of my life with alcohol.
I had some great experiences and opportunities, but booze always clouded them.

I have turned things around with MWO. The trick now is to stop regretting the past and get on with the future. That part is tough for me.

All the best to you,

Helen

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Needchange,
So glad you posted. Work through the get registered bugs and keep on postin. We like you here. Gabby