Announcement

**Preciouspinot** · May 17, 2007, 08:47 AM

Untitled

Bella Bella (that's what I call my daughter as well),

You are very much a part of this community and we enjoy having you. I REALLY don't mean to sound cliche' but, it is a possibility that part of the reason for your emotions is because of your pregnancy. When I was pregnant my hormones ran wild. I would cry at Kodak commercials. Hope you feel better soon !!

**Breez** · May 17, 2007, 09:08 AM

Untitled

Bella!

You should be very proud of yourself.

There are many women out there who continue to drink while they are pregnant. Just because you are pregnant did not make your alcohol problem go away. It's still there & when the baby will be born it will still be there. My drinking escalated after my first child was born!

Hang in there hon. Pesky hormones. Rub that belly from me (I hated when people did that to me)

although I don't think you're showing yet.

We're all here for each other. We all have share one common problem but different situations surrounding it.:l

**AMELIA** · May 17, 2007, 09:20 AM

Untitled

Hey Bella,

I can actually understand where you are coming from (and I have never been pregnant).

I think what you are saying is that you miss sharing 'the struggle' and emotional connection that you get with others when you share posts about how you JUST avoided succumbing to a drink last night or(for example), being on the 29th day of your 30 day detox........

As you are pregnant (and thankfully able to stop - for your baby's sake as well as your own), there is no choice.
There is someone else's wellbeing at stake here. So because you can't drink and the love for you baby stops you from doing so, perhaps the thing that you should be doing is perhaps focusing on doing more posting on these boards???!!!

How would you feel about posting to some of the newbies?.....you have experience and hindsight and you are currently abstinent (cause you have a miniature-bundle-of-Bella-joy inside of you).

As well as (of course) posting where you would normally!

Being part of this community is not about whether you are not drinking at the moment, it's about whether you have had a drinking problem in the past.

And by the way, because I haven't congratulated you - congratulations on being preggars!!!!
Amelia

**goingsobermum** · May 17, 2007, 09:29 AM

Untitled

Hi Bella,
Its good to hear from you. You're doing really well, that comes from a pregnant woman who has been finding it so hard to stop despite the risks. I guess the fact that I was told I could drink moderatly when I was expecting my first is engrained as a good excuse. That said I have now managed 4 day AF so am pleased with that and am planning many more.
Your input is still helpfull for other people, you can still encourage others. Don't be lonely, come and post. It certainly helps me having another pregnant woman on the board, I was thinking of starting a weight gain thread in competition with the weight loss one!
Thanks for posting

**Accountable for Me** · May 17, 2007, 09:33 AM

Untitled

Bella you are VERY much still a part of this community! You are doing the right thing by not drinking while you are pregnant. Like others have said, many women don't put the health of the unborn child first and continue to drink. My sister was one of them - sucking back a half sack of beer every weekend. Her son's are showing signs of learning and behaviour disorders which could be a result of this. I feel sorry for them.

I stopped drinking immediately when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. My problems were still there though. My husband would drink in front of me and my mind would want to as well but I had to abstain for my unborn child's sake. I use to get so angry with him and was pretty resentful because I felt the responsibility of this child was solely mine.

Once I had my daughter I started drinking like never before and it got pretty ugly. All of those months of abstaining to bring a healthy child into this world and the resentment of not having any support from my other half brought on a huge drinking fury. I honestly wish I had a place like this to come to while I was pregnant. Maybe my drinking after her birth wouldn't of been so bad.

Keep posting here. A lot of us started drinking more after the birth of our children and this could help you to possibly not do the same. We love you and are happy for you! Be well and enjoy the miracle growing inside of you! :l

**MDBiker** · May 17, 2007, 10:35 AM

Untitled

Bella, I know how you feel. Ok not the pregnancy part, but the left out part. If you leave the boards for very long, they develop a life without you. Then when you come back, there will be people you don't know who don't know you. It is almost as if you have to re-develop yourself with the new people. I was gone so long no one I remember starting with is ever here, but we have the sweetest, knowledgable, caring group here you will ever wan to meet. Come on back on board, you will be glad you did.

Bear

**Bella** · May 17, 2007, 10:38 AM

Untitled

Precious, Breez, Amelia, goingsober and Accountable ...... Thankyou. you are right, I miss the sharing of the struggle. Its that feeling of being part of a group. I'm going to post more often. Thankyou so much, what kindness. Love, Bella xxx

**Bella** · May 17, 2007, 10:39 AM

Untitled

I will MDBiker. thankyou.

**lushy** · May 17, 2007, 11:22 AM

Untitled

Bella, I agree with what everyone has said here. You are very much a part of this group and hope you will stick around. We are more than just talking about our drinking issues. We are a group of great people who are interested in each others lives whether we are drinking or not! :l

**Bean** · May 17, 2007, 11:41 AM

Untitled

Hi Bella

Two things; firstly I know what you mean about feeling an outsider or nothing to say. The only thing I ever posted that generated a big response was when I had been AF for a few weeks and then went on a massive vodka binge and really needed some support. When you are doing ok or even well there just is less to say in a way but it doesn't mean people aren't interested or have forgotten you. Stick around. I like reading your posts and I relate to what you said.

Secondly I think it is so great that you are AF for your baby's sake. My sister is due to give birth today(!) and she has drunk about a bottle of wine a DAY and smoked throughout this pregnancy. It makes me cry. It also makes me really angry that she can bear to do this to this poor baby who doesn't have a choice. She did the same with her first pregnancy and had a beautiful boy who is seemingly perfect (nearly 3 yrs old) but I think problems may not manifest themselves till later. I alternately feel furious with her for jeopardising her health and her baby's health but then I understand addiction because I am addicted to alcohol too and sometimes (often) it gets the better of me. But I really feel in my heart that if I got pregnant, I would just quit, no question.
Anyway, the whole family are terrified this baby will be born with some defect or something but fingers crossed all will be well. I'll let you know. You are doing the right thing so keep going!
Take care
Bean

**julie001** · May 17, 2007, 12:18 PM

Untitled

Hi Bella,

I know what you mean about feeling like your are a part of something here. Being able to come here really does take the edge off loneliness and gives me a sense that I am doing something positive for myself. I was reading through all of the responses to the post. Wow. You are missed and so welcome to hop on even if you aren't drinking right now. I hope to have contol of my drinking someday, but plan on staying with MYO as long as it is here. Also, I agree with Accountable. After the baby is born, you will need to have a plan for how not to fall back into bad drinking habits. Now is the perfect time to be formulating that plan and what better place than MYO and all of the wonderful people here. Good luck. Look forward to hearing from you often.

Julie

**InnerStrength** · May 17, 2007, 12:34 PM

Untitled

Hi Bella!
You are completely part of this community and we love you! That is so very good that you are not drinking for your baby. As you can see, some people do not make this same choice (sadly). And, as Lushy said, we love and care for one another and want to lknow what is going on in each other's lives, drinking or not - and drinking-related or not! This is a family and you are an important part of it!
Oh and by the way, I also cry at Kodak commercials.
And I am not even pregnant.
Sigh,
Jenneh

**hablur** · May 17, 2007, 01:34 PM

Untitled

Bella,

Drinking aside, this board as you know really is a support group about everything in our lives. Yes drinking is the main focus but many of us talk about daily stressers that effect us. I seriously think this is a great place for you to keep in contact with your emotions and feeling. There are a lot of Mom's and Dad's here that can help you navigate and will offer total and complete support.

The fact that you are completely AF for you baby rocks! You know this may end up being the best blessing in disguise. Not only are you having a little wee one, but you have a chance to be sober 9 months and stay that way! I imagine that as the months tick by it will become easier and easier for you. Please keep chatting with us.

**Beaches** · May 17, 2007, 01:43 PM

Untitled

Bella, Stick around. I am so glad you are working so hard at being AF for your baby and for yourself.
Being here will help you continue to stay strong once your baby is born because that is when the real struggle will begin for you. We can help you along the way, I wish I had been here then. That's really when my drinking picked up significantly. I think you are great and am glad you are here.

Welcome Guest to My Way Out Forums.

Announcement

Untitled

Untitled

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment