Really, it's more of a cosmic 2x4 over the head. Please, everyone, read and digest what I'm sharing with you.
My dad was a vibrant, brilliant man. Fiercely logical, intelligent, and funny. He was also an alcoholic. A 25+ years sober alcoholic.
He cared for my mom for years on end. He was essentially a live-in nurse. He never let on the extent of it all and I only realized when I visited in 2010 after we hadn't seen each other for 6 years (we lived continents apart). 5 months after my visit my mom passed away.
It looked as if my dad had got a new lease on life. He seemed to adjust well, he met a lady who he travelled with, caught a concert or play here and there, etc. They eventually became quite close but remained living separately, mostly due to her wishes and her family situation.
About a year ago (2 years after my mom passed) my brilliant, rational father decided to pick up a drink again. I only learned of it late last year. Neither my aunt (who lives close by) nor his lady friend understand the nature of alcoholism. Both were satisfied when told he wouldn't do it again. I tried to talk to him but, of course, he downplayed and denied.
He died last Friday. Today, my aunt was able to enter his flat for the first time. She removed 3 large garbage bags of bottles. I do not yet have the result of the autopsy but it almost doesn't matter. What matters is, that my dad had given up the fight he (and I) thought he had won a very long time ago.
Molly said something to me in another post... about perhaps "this being the default setting for an alcoholic" - and I'm beginning to believe that may be the case.
If that default setting could make a come back for my dad - IT CAN FOR ANY OF US.
Please be vigilant and protect your sobriety. If this example can save even one of us, then perhaps my dad's death was not completely in vain.
My dad was a vibrant, brilliant man. Fiercely logical, intelligent, and funny. He was also an alcoholic. A 25+ years sober alcoholic.
He cared for my mom for years on end. He was essentially a live-in nurse. He never let on the extent of it all and I only realized when I visited in 2010 after we hadn't seen each other for 6 years (we lived continents apart). 5 months after my visit my mom passed away.
It looked as if my dad had got a new lease on life. He seemed to adjust well, he met a lady who he travelled with, caught a concert or play here and there, etc. They eventually became quite close but remained living separately, mostly due to her wishes and her family situation.
About a year ago (2 years after my mom passed) my brilliant, rational father decided to pick up a drink again. I only learned of it late last year. Neither my aunt (who lives close by) nor his lady friend understand the nature of alcoholism. Both were satisfied when told he wouldn't do it again. I tried to talk to him but, of course, he downplayed and denied.
He died last Friday. Today, my aunt was able to enter his flat for the first time. She removed 3 large garbage bags of bottles. I do not yet have the result of the autopsy but it almost doesn't matter. What matters is, that my dad had given up the fight he (and I) thought he had won a very long time ago.
Molly said something to me in another post... about perhaps "this being the default setting for an alcoholic" - and I'm beginning to believe that may be the case.
If that default setting could make a come back for my dad - IT CAN FOR ANY OF US.
Please be vigilant and protect your sobriety. If this example can save even one of us, then perhaps my dad's death was not completely in vain.
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