It is with little regret that I wish to tell you that after many years of good times and bad with you at my side, I am breaking off our long term relationship permanently.
I have known for some time that it was coming to this but, being a sensitive, people pleaser with no confidence in my likeability, I have never followed up on my plans to escape your clutches.
It didn?t start out like this. As a late bloomer, I was happy to be introduced to you and was initially wooed by the confidence being with you gave me. With you I felt stronger, funnier, less sensitive and more relaxed. The honeymoon lasted a while during which I coped with some family trauma with you in hand to numb the pain I was experiencing. I appreciated you back then.
As time went on I began realizing that, although together we were quite the entertaining team, when left alone, I was able to think a little clearer, be a better listener and take the time to nurture my own interests and passions. We spent some time apart off and on and I was always better off without you. Occasionally, I would yearn for your craziness and devil-may-care attitude, but what I got accomplished without you seemed to compensate for your absence.
Inevitably, you would ease your way back into my life in a harmless, kinda cute way; teasing me with your provocative hue and clad in your sexy stemware. Being a softy, I usually forgot the limitations you placed on my life and off we?d go together, wandering sloppily and aimlessly together, giggling over nothing, not really caring about anything. The little burns and bruises I somehow ended up with during our antics were forgotten easily and even joked about.
And so it continued, year after year. Memories of the sweet, sober time spent without you urging me towards another break-up and up until now, my passive complacency and your aggressive, seemingly harmless tactics creating yet another make-up session. You never caused me to hurt anyone more than I hurt myself. But each time we reconnected, a piece of me died.
To tell you the truth, lately, you are reminding me too much of my crude, old step-father ?Bud Light?. He?s the old bastard my mother?s been with for the past 50 years or more. She is now a bitter old lady and even though Ole Bud has just about crippled her with the burden of his demands, she still loves him more than her own kids, grandkids and life itself. I really don?t want to end up like her; at the end of my life with nothing to show for it but a family who visits me out of a sense of duty, no relationship with my grandkids or kids and nothing of any spiritual, emotional, physical or societal value ever being pondered, let alone accomplished.
It?s really over, no more second chances. You demand too much of my time, energy and peace of mind. You can?t say I never gave us a chance; it?s going on fifteen years and nothing has changed; only gotten more discouraging.
I will be ignoring your calls, throwing your sexy stemware to the curb and no, you can?t sleep in my home, share my table or even sneak over for a quickie.
So, pack your bags Vinny. It?s over.
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