One Step at a Time - March 2014

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Hi all again,
Had a good day out with dh...I have been wanting to bring up the subject of selling the RV. His driving scares me and I didn't want to get out in that thing and have a wreck and have the propane tanks explode etc...so today he brings it up. I wanted to shout but played it cool. This will take yet another load off my mind...I know we wont do very well selling it but anything beats nothing and getting killed in it. I tried to tell him that we can take numerous structured trips and we just have to show up...whew!!

[K9Lover]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Not OK

I have to be honest with you my dear friends. I got drunk last night. Very, very drunk. Yes, Sierra's session hit me, trying to get a new job hit me, surviving on 1/2 the child support I'm used to hit me...etc, etc, etc. All stupid EXCUSES, I know. But I caved. I bought rum and coke and proceeded to drink it all. Then I drunkenly called Mama and Byrdie. I talked to Byrdie but I was already drunk. I have another apology to make there. I am so sorry Mama. This is not going to happen again. ALL THE SHIT FEELINGS came back with this one episode. I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN.

I love you guys. I'm sorry. :upset:

[Dottie Belle]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

K9 I am so sorry it all hit you last night..we get that feeling.
So glad to know you are here with us and not hurt in any way....
((K9))

[Glass Half Empty]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Oh K9 sweetie - you poor thing. Wish I could come and give you a big hug! :l
Do NOT apologise to us, OK? You haven't let us down, we're just sorry you're hurting. And I know others may disagree, but this is not day one again. Nothing can take away that huge amount of sober time you have under your belt and this is just a little speedbump on a very long road. We love you hunni! :h:h:h

[byebyebridgetjones]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Hello K9.
I'm not usually a stepper but I happened upon your post by chance with a wrong mouse click! Hope you don't mind me dropping in.

I am also a single parent, 16 year old boy. At the moment work is tenuous and unstable, finances are strained and the boy is...well he's 16 It really doesn't help that we are both sprouting a mustache at the same time...y'know?

When I read your post I realised why I have been feeling so vulnerable lately. None of us are in the business of making excuses for ourselves I know, but sometimes I too feel the responsibility weighing heavily and just desperately want a release from it. Thought I'd just let you know that I 'get it'.

Try and be a little gentle with yourself as you climb back on the wagon.

[K9Lover]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Thank you so much!!! Bridgie I am glad your mouse directed you here!! I have always looked to you as an inspiration, and here you are! :h (OMG at the mustache :H)
I haven't felt this low in a long time, but I have to say that getting it out there is really lifting a burden. I am feeling better mentally and physically, and it's because of you guys. I am going to forgive myself. I've learned the hard way that guilt and shame and regret drags you down. Yes I feel all of those things, but I will NOT wallow in it. My daughter knows too. I guess I made her listen to me say a drunk Prayer (that was interesting I'm sure). Anyway, I can't thank you ALL enough and you have no idea how much I love you guys. I want to bring it up on the general boards, but not today. I need to recover first. Byrdie is the only one outside of our little home here that knows. Thank you all so much for being here. I hope I haven't led anyone off the path. That would be the worst thing possible to me. :upset:

[K9Lover]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Not to downplay my big ass mistake last night, but I did want to post something more encouraging. I still made it to my Interview at 10am today and I think it went AWESOME!!! They seemed to love (ok...maybe just like...LOL) me and were impressed by all the steps I've taken over the past 4 years to pursue my dream of working at the Police Department. The Sergeant on the panel happens to be the Officer that led the Citizens Police Academy that I took 4 years ago. I told him that he really piqued my interest in the PD way back then and I've been pursuing it every since. (They eat that shit up...kiss ass. LOL). Also, the like the fact that I am excited to search inmates if need be...they said that turns a lot of people of. Well hell, not me...I can't wait! They couldn't believe I'd done a ride along with the Community Services Officer, toured the Jail with the supervisor and interviewed for 2 secretarial positions. Hell, I even met with the Police Chief!!! What else can I do? NOTHING!! So now I wait. She said she would "definitely" be in touch with me within 2 weeks.

I really, really needed this today after last night.

[fennel]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

K9, I admire you SO much...:h I'm glad you are being kind to yourself. Here's to a swift recovery from last night. :l

[fennel]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Miss Bridget Jones...you are truly funny! I think I need to take a peek over at the "undies" thread a bit. :H

[fennel]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

X post, K9...keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[Bastet]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Wow K9 it sounds like the job interview went great!! I'm so glad to hear it!

I'm sorry last night was hard for you but I think it happens to all of us on occasion. Like Glass said it in no way minimizes any of the huge amount of sober time you had. You are awesome and I totally still look up to you - even though I am years older than you! Your daughter is very lucky it have such a caring mom.

[byebyebridgetjones]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Good for you K9. I love a girl who just gets back on the horse.
Onwards!

:H Fennel.

[K9Lover]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Fenny - Bridget is one of the funniest people I "know"! You'd be in for a treat if you followed her. LOL

Glass, Dottie, Bastet, Mama, Fenny and all my other dear friends here...thank you SO MUCH again. I learned another lesson, so I will file it away and move on. Poor Byrdie and Mama had me drunk dialing them...anyone else want to give me your phone number?? LOL :H Not to mention our friend FinallyDone, he had to deal with me for like an hour or more....so FD...thanks for being there for me! He gets the award for patience on this one :h

I'm feeling better, tomorrow is a brand new day. As they say (2 million times) on FROZEN...."Let it go"...

Love you guys so much!!

[NoraC]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Oh my gosh - I have been trying to get on here all day. I got on once and saw that K9 was upset and then couldn't get back on.

Anyway - I think I'm finally getting caught up. I'll go back & read more thoroughly now that I know K9 is ok.

Be right back............

[nicelife]

One Step at a Time - March 2014

Hey K9 - my gorgeously special girl!!!!

Yep, sometimes life just takes us over. I was on my own with 3 children, finances were more than hard blah, blah, blah, blah. I absolutely get it - and some!!! Things with our daughters seem to hit hardest. I reckon both of mine grew several moustaches along the way. I did too, but it fell out because of stress.

One thing about you my friend is, you are the kind of gal who WILL get back up, dust off the dirt and get right back into doing what makes you feel best.

Love your guts girlfriend!!!

Never, ever forget you are amazingly AWESOME!!!! In every way......