How did you get to 6 months AF?

[Byrdlady]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

I am just now seeing this thread! What a thought provoking question!

I seem to be an amalgam of 'all of the above'!
I got stuck in the DENIAL stage...I'd get a few days, then rationalize it and fall. I could always find someone on here who was worse than I was....it was a real trap I'd set for myself. I blamed everyone else for why I drank. Finally one day, my hubs issued an ultimatum: Him or AL. Believe it or not, it was a difficult decision. I had to quit and STAY quit and stop bullshitting myself. I struggled, like we all do, then one day I read a post about Letting Go. It was an awesome post, I still have it. After I read that it seemed like the road smoothed out in front of me. I was still holding on to the fact that one day, I just might be able to drink again....once I let that go, it was 1000 times easier. Just let it go. Now, after 3 years, I think what a powerful force addiction is. I respect it with every ounce of gumption I have. I respect it like a rattlesnake. I am not going to poke it with a stick, or try petting it....it is out to kill me. My mantra is NOT ONE, NOT EVER!

I also think there's another component. Being able to quit is one thing, be able to KEEP that quit is another. It is vital that we, as alkies, maintain a support system. The world out there is telling us constantly it's ok to drink! Our friends and family are pushing it on us and tv is bombarding us with sexy advertisements about it! It's not easy to stay quit with all of these messages hitting us! Staying connected with The Mothership (your support system, MWO, AA, or something) is critical. I've seen so many with good solid quits in place leave here and think they had this...they knew what to do, only to get sucked up into it again. I've seen it enough to where my butt is velcro'd in and I check in every single day...in good times and in bad. When things are bad, THAT'S when you need this place the most! Disconnecting from the Mothership will only get you in trouble....ADDICTION is one of the powerful forces there is....it will suck you back in unless you have support to fight it off.

I feel like I had a secret weapon and her name is Lavande. I am so fortunate that she never gave up on me. Her tough love was exactly what I needed, and it has saved my life. I will forever be grateful to that woman! So I just do what she does, and so far, so good.
Byrdie

[SoberSoul]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Very thought provoking indeed. So glad you need us Byrdie, because we sure need you. You always welcome us back into the fold when we stray.

I know that if I can stay quit I can do absolutely ANYTHING I set my mind to; it's that tough with everything you described above. The sit-coms promote it, the toasts at weddings, baptisms (two in the past week for me), the friends, the family, the first class train I am sitting in right now keeps offering it and looking bewildered when I refuse .. LOL like their saying "then why are you here??"

Every time I disappear I lose my moderation, let alone my sobriety. Thanks to all of you who posted as I am just eating this up

[byebyebridgetjones]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

I always think of sobriety as coming in two parts:
1.Not drinking.
2.Creating a new life.

I wish I'd known this years ago because it may have saved some heartache if I'd known exactly what I was in for. Abstaining from alcohol was the easy bit in the end. I wasn't prepared for the other losses, like lifestyle and particularly friends. When you don't drink any more, you rapidly discover that there are some friendships which sadly were based only on alcohol, and they just tend to fall away without that commonality.

I counted days at first and had a white-knuckled grip on them in the beginning. There was a grieving process for my old life, which I still deluded myself was 'fun'. Then I forgot all about time and looked forward for the first time in years.

I was surprised by so many things, but especially how hard it was for other people to let go of the old me. Some of them still haven't, which tells me that they themselves have a problem that they aren't dealing with.
It's also important to realise that there will still be bad days, illness and 'unfairness'. That's just life because sobriety isn't magic, but it can feel magical.
Happs is so SO right about the victim mentality. Think like a victim, and that's what you'll bloody well be. Let that go, the world does not owe you. There is not a single problem that necking vodka will make better.
I sometimes feel like I was living in a dark room, then someone flicked the light on. What I saw around me was always there, but now I get to see it in the stark light. It wasn't all pleasant, but at least I've got the facts now.
Looking after your physical health is imperative. Make it into a project and have fun with it. Try exercise for example
I really need folk to know that it gets easier. Particularly after the first month. One day you will realise that it's been six months, or a year or whatever and the landscape of your life has changed in subtle but powerful ways.
It's so worth it.


PS: Try putting all the money into a jar that you would have spent on alcohol.........you will NOT believe it.......

[treetops]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

"It's also important to realise that there will still be bad days, illness and 'unfairness'. That's just life because sobriety isn't magic, but it can feel magical."


Thats exactly the way I approach sobriety Bridget. We need to remind ourselves of the huge problems non-alkies face - both long=term and short-term. And these do not magically go away with being sober.
We are not always 'special' in the unfairness that life deals us as this happens to everyone at times. So we don't need our 'special' cure-all either.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Antabuse; taking it every morning immediately as soon as I wake up to make sure I don't have time to reconsider. Worked flawlessly for four months, can see it working for the foreseeable future

[Pavati]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Sunbeam;1633341 wrote:
I am adding gratitude: I don't deserve a drink for any reason. I have a great life, why would I mess it up with alcohol?

myhappyplace;1633631 wrote: What a great idea for a thread Mr G!

But the biggest thing was probably losing an attitude that I had and that I see a lot of. Its an attitude that the world owes you something, and that you're so hard done by that every hurt needs to be salved with a glass of wine. And every win celebrated the same way. Get over that attitude. And always remembered how I felt when I first typed the words "help me stop drinking" into Mrs Google. Never forget what made you come here.

myhappyplace;1633643 wrote: :H Yes. I will.

Must add here: a sense of humour is also good. This is a serious business getting your life back, take time to laugh even when you feel grim. Hang out with people who make you smile, look for simple pleasure in "stuff".

Nelz;1633671 wrote:
Also, the silent mantra of "I dont drink" to myself when an urge would strike. Soon enough my brain started to believe me. My silly AL brain still talks a little bit here and there, but its not as bad.

Byrdlady;1633687 wrote:

I also think there's another component. Being able to quit is one thing, be able to KEEP that quit is another... I've seen so many with good solid quits in place leave here and think they had this...they knew what to do, only to get sucked up into it again. I've seen it enough to where my butt is velcro'd in and I check in every single day...in good times and in bad. When things are bad, THAT'S when you need this place the most! Disconnecting from the Mothership will only get you in trouble....ADDICTION is one of the powerful forces there is....it will suck you back in unless you have support to fight it off.

byebyebridgetjones;1633836 wrote: I always think of sobriety as coming in two parts:

It's also important to realise that there will still be bad days, illness and 'unfairness'. That's just life because sobriety isn't magic, but it can feel magical.
Happs is so SO right about the victim mentality. Think like a victim, and that's what you'll bloody well be. Let that go, the world does not owe you. There is not a single problem that necking vodka will make better.

treetops;1633837 wrote:
We are not always 'special' in the unfairness that life deals us as this happens to everyone at times. So we don't need our 'special' cure-all either.

THANKS G for starting this thread and thanks to you all who answered. It really does help to hear your struggles and ideas for success (and to see you having fun). I'm half way to the 6 month mark and not looking back!

[myhappyplace]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Pavati;1633936 wrote: THANKS G for starting this thread and thanks to you all who answered. It really does help to hear your struggles and ideas for success (and to see you having fun). I'm half way to the 6 month mark and not looking back!

Well done Pav, you gorgeous thing!

[DreamThinkDo]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Pavati;1633936 wrote: I'm half way to the 6 month mark and not looking back!

That's the spirit, Pav! (And no pun intended at all!)

[Guitarista]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

mollyka;1634037 wrote:
___________________________
- in that as soon as an alcoholic re-introduces ONE drink to their system - all the cravings, the anxieties etc etc etc come back in spades regardless of how long I HADN'T had a drink

This is me. I am an alcoholic. I used to think problem drinker, and this is true, but it goes far deeper than that for me. It is not just a thinking/mental thing for me, it is also physical in a big way, and here is where i know i have a physical allergy to booze. Like peanuts or dairy as allergies, ya just gotta avoid it.

Thanks Molly and y'all for your contributions. Your thoughts are really appreciated.

P.S. :goodjob: Pav, and congratulations Dottie on your 6 months AF!

[lead366]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Having tried and relapsed 5-6 times since May 2013.....getting to six months has got to be first off trusting what others warn us. One try at modding wont work for me..NO WAY. A daily space of time ( even 5 minutes) where you remind yourself of this commitment combined with a mindful diet, some mindful exercise ( again---even a few minutes).....a little posting...and this should be a terrific foundation. Its when we get sloppy and mindless that we lose our footing.......lose footing?...===== SLIP.

When I look back...its REALLY not a humungous investment to stay sober...just a daily check on your mindset...this can set you up for a decent day and a high probability of no booze. Then?...you sleep...lol.

Then?.....tomorrow.......and in no time?.....6 months. TA DA! lol only my 2 cents

[j-vo]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Thanks for starting this thread G-man. The responses are extremely helpful to me. Congrats to all of you who are living an al-free life and can share with us what worked/works for you. We are a work in progress and we're on our journey, a better one.

[scottish lass]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

Hey G - thanks for this!
I have just done a review of my last 6 months and it has not been AF, thou pretty close - I am hoping that I maybe on the track to a free long period and these idea are certainly food for thought.
The common theme seems to be about attitude, and that keeps on raising its head when visiting what needs to occur to win this.....either that or a magic carpet and I can't find one of those anywhere, so me thinks I need to keep my attitude in check...
I look forward to hearing what other ideas come up here...

[Petrelhead]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

G, just want to say thanks for the great idea for a thread. I'm only 10 days in , but going well and feel confident. I have a 3 month plan, but the general vibe on this site is to keep going beyond.

I'm so enjoying the AF life, I struggle to come up with a single reason to try drinking again, even in moderation. And everyone knows what those good intentions can lead to.

I would really like to thank the experienced members for sharing their stories insight and advice. It makes a huge difference for us in our early days.

[little beagle]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

My reply to this question is that I came to MWO when I had hit a personal rock bottom and was desperate. Many people come here in similar situations.
I found a wealth of information that really educated me as to the nature of my problem. I didn't even really know what was happening to me. I knew that drinking was causing problems. That was it.
My sobriety has been achieved from changing the way I view alcohol. A total rewiring of the brain. From not knowing I was ingesting a poisonous, highly addictive substance to thinking that life is brighter and happier without it in my life. After all it's just a substance in a glass. Why did I let it control my life for so long?
Coming here when I feel good, when I feel bad, when I feel indifferent. Reading books like Allen Carr, viewing the videos in others postings like High on Alcohol and Rain in My Heart, and truly trying to find at least one thing made better in my life EACH DAY by not drinking. Hey that last is the easiest part. I have real friends again. A big thing to me. You guys rock.
And finally having someone help me during that first month who really cared about whether I made it or not.

[damo180]

How did you get to 6 months AF?

I have don 2 x 6 months, first time around was so easy.
I logged on here everyday , posted regularly , Allen Carrs book etc. helped.
Got complacent and relapsed , and was probably 6 months before i tried again (apart from regular halfhearted attempts every Monday !! ) .
2nd time was a lot tougher but I stuck at it, but again , stopped working on my sobriety and relapsed again.
I am now back on track but only 5 wks sober.
I am continuing with mwo, meditation has been added daily and have a lot of support from my wife.
This time has been the toughest although the rewards are still here from not drinking.

Thanks mr g for this thread, its fantastic and really helps to read success stories and tips on keep going.
I really hope I can quit this time. I am quietly confident.
The tough days are better than the shit days ive had after drinking too much.
Hope all are well

Damo in Dublin
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