Most days are just fine; good or difficult -I enjoy most all of them. Then some days turn out like today; they just hurt. Unfortunately, my mind still says Firewater could help soothe the pain. I know better, yet the thought looms. I have been taking baclofen this entire time and it has been a lifesaver for me, at least as far as immense cravings are concerned. My point is this: Regardless of how you quit drinking, the drink thought seems to always creep back in at the most inappropriate of times. The most cruel part about alcoholism is the fact that it always tells you that you can rely on it -even when you know how devastating the results will be. Talking about adding fuel to the fire???
Since my initial sobriety back in April of 2013, life has been good. I have survived some major-major stumbling blocks. Again and once again, when I began this journey, I threw the towels in -I was done, willing to do anything to stop drinking- and I mean anything. And I did quit drinking and my life has improved dramatically since.
Fast forward to today. I have so much to be grateful for and most especially the removal of alcohol from my life. Yet again, I become saddened about one of grown adult children and what I should have/could have done differently or better and the light bulb of alcohol turns on. No, I did not drink though the urge to do so was quite overwhelming.
Guilt from the past can be so cruel. Just a little fondling of the mind can wreak such havoc that it leads back to the overwhelming thought of the poison. Life is too good today to live in my past that I can not ever change. But sometimes, that past is my reality and that is what I have to live with to get through today. Thanks for the ears.
This day shall pass too and I still look forward to tomorrow.
Thanks for any feedback.
Since my initial sobriety back in April of 2013, life has been good. I have survived some major-major stumbling blocks. Again and once again, when I began this journey, I threw the towels in -I was done, willing to do anything to stop drinking- and I mean anything. And I did quit drinking and my life has improved dramatically since.
Fast forward to today. I have so much to be grateful for and most especially the removal of alcohol from my life. Yet again, I become saddened about one of grown adult children and what I should have/could have done differently or better and the light bulb of alcohol turns on. No, I did not drink though the urge to do so was quite overwhelming.
Guilt from the past can be so cruel. Just a little fondling of the mind can wreak such havoc that it leads back to the overwhelming thought of the poison. Life is too good today to live in my past that I can not ever change. But sometimes, that past is my reality and that is what I have to live with to get through today. Thanks for the ears.
This day shall pass too and I still look forward to tomorrow.
Thanks for any feedback.
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