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**Keepon!!!!** · May 18, 2007, 04:45 AM

I was starting to feel good,

Hi gosobermom I would just like to point out you are only human, who is trying to deal with your problem yes you are pregnant and Im sure you know the dangers etc that is why your on here trying to work through it, so take no notice dont let other peoples judgements put you back down when you were feeling so well to me your doing great atleast your trying to help yourself when there are a lot of women out there pregnant that dont even try to stop drinking or even taking drugs. So chin up rub your little bump and keep trying be happy because soon your gonna be holding baby with the biggest smile on your face ....!!!!! Take care Luv Keepon :h

**AMELIA** · May 18, 2007, 04:59 AM

I was starting to feel good,

Goingsobermum,
From what you posted before you copied in Ylfa's words,
you were doing really well. Harsh words and criticism (especially when they come from a source that supposed to be supporting and caring - as in a member of this site), can be emotionally difficult to bear. I can also see, that as Ylfa is a nurse, where some of her concerns may come from. She is predominantly worried about your child.

However, we are all vunerable to feeling bad whatever our circumstances when dealing with drinking problems and if feeling bad is going to take us closer to drinking more, then that is what we need to tackle first.
If I were you Suz, I wouldn't let Ylfa's message grate on you too much, I think her 'tone' was a little overbearing (and could be down to a translation thing). This is after all a random private message that you have received from a complete stranger (that even sounds weird).

However, the underlying truth is there, you must do whatever you can to limit your alcohol intake whilst pregnant.

It sounds like that's just what you have been doing. So carry on being good to yourself and your baby.
Take care
Amelia

**Ripley** · May 18, 2007, 05:05 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermom

honey, i'm in the UK where thankfully they dont shoot pregnant women who drink

I drank, moderately, thoughout all three of my pregnancies. Sometimes as much as 4 glasses of wine - SHOCK HORROR! I favoured champagne with my firstborn, who is academically gifted. My second was over 5kg at birth and is a strapping lad now - the most beautiful boy, and full of vim and vigour: he grew in utero with a good dose of cabernet sauvignon in his veins. By the third I was so relaxed about the whole thing I had a couple of glasses a day after the first trimester.

All you scandinavian minded people out there - send me a deluge of PMS, I don't care. Moderate alcohol consumption will not hurt goingsobermum's baby. get off her case - she is doing her best.

Good luck girl - you and baby will be just FINE!

Kate x

**chilli** · May 18, 2007, 05:40 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermom

I am only new, but thought i would let you know that i agree with the others , you are doing something about it , and just keep trying we wouldn t be on this site if stopping was and easy option for us.
chil

**Bella** · May 18, 2007, 06:54 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermum, I am shocked and i'm going to PM you now. Bella xxxx

**Bella** · May 18, 2007, 07:09 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermum, Unfortunately, there are some people who are quick to make judgements. People like that have trouble finding empathy. Empathy is important to get on in life i find. you are okay my friend. Bella xxxx

**Accountable for Me** · May 18, 2007, 09:42 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermom, I think you should just take what this person said with a 'grain of salt'. We all know the 'possible' side effects of drinking and the unborn. Concentrate on yourself and keep moving forward towards a healthier life for you and your children.

One thing we need to remember here is we all have different views/opinions about everything. I think identifying the person whom sent you the PM was probably not a good idea. I would hate to see someone not come back to the boards because they have a different opinion etc.... I agree she shouldn't of attacked you under any circumstances and it was totally uncalled for.

I understand you are upset - and I would be too. Anyway, I will probably get slammed for this - but I am trying to keep the peace and want everyone to get the help they need here.

We all are works in progress. Keep your chin up and don't let anyone ruin your progress.

**gabby** · May 18, 2007, 09:53 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermum, I agree with all of the above. Hon, just do your best from here on. I'm glad you are here and talking. I dont know how much you drank but it is pointless now. Just focus on good health now. We all love you and want to support you. Seek out that support and just go with that, and keep moving forward.

**hart** · May 18, 2007, 10:53 AM

I was starting to feel good,

(((Goingsobermum)))

If you weren't motivated to do something about your drinking not only wouldn't you be here, but you wouldn't have chosen the name Goingsobermum. Obviously that is a large motivating factor for you.

We are all doing the best we can. You have a special circumstance, but that doesn't mean you are any less human. We care about you and support you. Keep feeling optimistic, those feelings too will trasmit to your unborn:wings:

**gabby** · May 18, 2007, 11:14 AM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermum, I read some on your blog. It looks like to me you are conscience about your health physically and mentally in a lot of ways. That is so good. Just keep on going with that.

hugs to you.....

**MDBiker** · May 18, 2007, 12:07 PM

I was starting to feel good,

goingsobermum,

I have a tendacy to get upset about things like this, so I have deleted what I initially wrote (twice) and will suffice to say I belive in you. I have faith that you will do what you think is right.

:damn: 'nuff said
bear

**nancy** · May 18, 2007, 12:27 PM

I was starting to feel good,

Hi there

I think a lot of behavior while drinking is abusive or dangerous. What about people who drink and drive? I think we all have to recognize that our problem is not just our own but can affect others, including an unborn child.

Having said that, we need to be positive, we need to support each other and be skilful in our comments. And we need to remember not to throw stones when we live in glass houses.

Don't cry about this. Also, remember that sometimes comments sound harsher when written down in a message board. I think this happened with Simeybear's posts about men. We all need to remember to be polite and watch our manners when writing things to vulnerable people.

**shushu** · May 18, 2007, 01:13 PM

I was starting to feel good,

Hi from London Goingsobermum - I applaud your struggle. I remember thinking that I should try to get pregnant partially so I would stop drinking, but I know I would have faced the same struggle as you - and a stupid reason to have a child!

Also, before the link between alcohol and fetal alcohol syndrome was discovered, most women, including my Mom, drank through their pregnancies - but most women only drank moderately if at all - although I agree it is best to not drink at all if you can. So stay on here, stay strong and enjoy your now moving bump! Hugs, S

**goingsobermum** · May 18, 2007, 01:33 PM

I was starting to feel good,

Thank you all for your kind comments, they definatly helped cheer me up. I'm knackered now though, isn't feeling sad tiring? 5 days AF, the kids are in bed, OH is away working so I'm going to put on a funny film and drink hot chocolate. See you all in the morning.
Suz

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